Monday, June 22, 2015

A Note on Marriage

As the dual Hallmark Holidays, Mother's and Father's day, are in the rearview mirror and my own wedding anniversary is as well, I thought I'd post on marriage. I'm not going to sell anyone on marriage who isn't already inclined, but this is like my stay at home mom post. Maybe family life is not your thing. It is not everyone's.

Government marriage is a minefield. Divorce theft is real, but maybe not as prevalent with how many more women are college graduates with decent jobs now. That affects child support, too. She gets the kids, but if she was making more than you, you won't be kicking cash her way. I know a guy who got divorced, no kids, he tricked his ex into "getting" the house, but there was no alimony, so she had to sell the house and she ended up bringing cash to closing just to dump it. Marriage takes some effort and so does being single. Is being single a never-ending stream of babes and awesome nights? It can be, but it isn't. Guys have hot streaks and cold streaks. Shucks, they also have to find the time to write up their nights out with autistic detail, vacation, tweet, read up all their fellow PUA and Game blogs, workout, eat, sleep, shop for clothes, shop for jewelry, juicing, and maybe hair removal. I don't know. What's the latest fad that homos playahs do? "Don't put pussy on a pedestal" write guys who then travel around the world to experience a nice relationship and sex with a 7.  That's overemphasizing the punani.

I have single friends who kill it. They do this without reading game blogs since they're attractive guys who make good money; some are even naturally funny and witty. Sex is pretty easy in America. Sex with an attractive woman is easy if you're attractive and make some bank. It's easy if naturally charismatic. Just don't say something ridiculously stupid or "creepy". Even then, if you're good looking enough or rich enough, you can overcome creepy. Money really is an entryway to much higher quality women, and women will rationalize anything for a man with money (status).

The family vs. non-family split is more pronounced as I age. Those of us with kids look at the childless and wonder what the fuck they are doing with their lives. We all have similar jobs and activities. Why aren't our single, childless friends writing books (like the Captain, bravo for him), painting awesome works of art or running a charity? In essence, doing the stuff people talk about at age 19 but "family" gets in the way. Must be the cat gif distractions keeping them from writing the Great American Novel. I suspect a growing factor is people so in love with themselves they can't be bothered to have kids or productive passions.

Marriage and family life are not always awesome, but they often are fun. Here's a secret. My kids are in bed by 7:30pm. After that, my wife and I get to behave in the house like we did without kids. It's our time. When do you think I research + write these blog posts? [ed: at work] I'm lucky. I live a blessed life. If you can game well enough to have cute, slender women for relationships in 21st Century America, you can find a cute, slender wife. That pool of competitive single women that take care of themselves usually transforms into the pool of competitive women who turn neighborhood BBQs and Halloween parties into Sexiest MILF Pageants. MILFs wear horizontal striped tank tops to show off their breasts while their kids are off playing in the bouncey house. Another fave is the "Bikini top + white shorts" look.

Divorce can travel like a virus and so can the "post-divorce cat accumulation, loneliness" stories. Your wife doesn't want to become a cat lady. If you can't shake the cad behavior, you can game your wife and have the occasional affair. Shhhhh, that is getting far easier in today's world with technology, single Yoga chicks and the growing pool of women with abandonment-daddy issues. Just buy a throwaway phone where you don't have to give them your name (Thanks AT&T!). If you're an insecure paranoid, you could neg your wife hard, "yeah brah, I negged her so hard she needed to go on Paxil and see a counselor, but she won't be cheating!"

The payoff we family types hope for is the marriage of our grandparents' generation. Devotion, love and companionship for the highs and lows. People dying of broken hearts months or weeks after their spouse dies. Tucked in some of those RooshVForum threads are Internet playas posting about wanting a thin 7 who can cook, screw and love them. I'm sure in the retirement home we'll all wish for more frequent visits, but I'm not going to sit around listening to some lame fucking story about a PUA bagging a hardbody 9 in 2003. If my grandkids visit and ask who that is rambling pick up stories, I'll say, "Some lonely fucker stuck remember when-ing about some one night stand... now where's my donuts?"

There is risk. What if no one visits, what if my wife leaves me, what if my kids grow to hate me? All life is a risk-reward trade off. People who speak of the lack of tangible benefits to having kids are acting like ant people or "what's in it for me" rootless cosmopolitans. Those risks are out there, but besides tax benefits, here's my reward. Every night I come home from work, my kids act like it's the Super Bowl. My kids' laughs are infectious. I won't forget snow adventures with my son or the day my daughter started dancing to music. My wife's pretty awesome too, but I'm just a chump because I could be cuckolded, divorced and have everything ripped away at any moment. Oh noes! I know single me would do okay. I've learned attractive, successful married guys usually have one single woman developing feelings for them every 18-24 months at work.

Please keep walking down your path of single, childless living. Be awesome at it! Be the best! You'll never hear criticism from me. I was raised with multiple male role models who lived differently and made me feel a part of a long tradition and entrusted me to carry on said tradition. That's not everyone's youth, not everyone's family, nor everyone's goal. "The only wealth in this world is children," Michael Corleone in Godfather 3. Feels right. I won't waste tweets describing the PUA crowd as hedonistic, selfish vampires, leeching off of society, damaging whatever you touch. Neither will I post statistics about suicide, shorter life spans, depression and whatnot for single, childless people. Those guys must realize people with natural gifts for conversation and charisma find the technical, autistic approach to women comical and a touch on the pathetic loser side? We all choose different paths. I bet the guy in that photo in the link would not trade your flings for what he has with his kid. His choice. "I bet the photo is staged and the models don't know each other," maybe, and all PUA sites are 100% truth. Please, whatever you do, don't half ass your one life.


Laguna Beach Fogey said...

I appreciate what you're trying to say here, but so much of it rings hollow. Married life? Been there. Done that. These days you can get all the benefits of marriage without actually getting married. Sure, there are plenty of losers who can't attract a quality woman, but for every single dweeb there's a married schlub who married the first girl he fell for, and is now suffering for it. Successful single men look at these sadsacks with pity and wonder: "What did you do with your life?" Sometimes, if you look closely, you can see a look of mild panic on their face. Oh, and those cute, slender wives? They turn into hotwives in yoga pants who bang single studs on the side, usually without hubby's knowledge, but often with his encouragement. As far as "Red Pill thinking" goes I pretty much figured things out on my own in my mid-20s, but today's young men are faced with greater obstacles, hence the great need for Red Pill, PUA, and Game sites. If these men want to marry, fine, Game helps them acquire the skills and attitudes that will enable them to do so. But we shouldn't shame them for being single and encourage them to throw their life away with the first girl who smiles at them. Single or not, there is plenty of beauty and joy still to be found in life.

Scott's Bluff said...

I see clouds of MGTOW, red pillers too. I see them incoming, just for you. And I think to myself, what a wund-er-ful poooast.

Fuck. I didn’t get my lyric in before King shitthatdidnthappen.txt went berserk.

I had thought your writing might eventually show more pointed critique of anomie; ennui; poolside. I like that your criticism is forward but with playful obliqueness. I’m curious to see if your thinking begins to align with Vox Day’s statements about pro- and anti- "civilizationist" elements in the West today, and whether you call them to task a la MPC or just throw out the occasional chuckle. The latter seems to be your style.

Son of Brock Landers said...

LBF - I suggest to anyone who can pull it off to NOT government marry. No incentive. If my wife could do it over again, we'd have married privately and not recognized to the government.

Scotts Bluff - I agree with VD's civilizationist split idea. I see the reason men avoid marriage in my life everyday. I won't criticize them. I see more danger and have more anger in the system that makes that choice tempting. I think in a normal set up with a normal pool of slender women, nearly all of these guys who chase skirts "poolside" would be married.

Glen Filthie said...

I could have written that word for word 15 years ago. I chugged along thinking everything was well and it was for my wife and I - but our daughter was getting seriously indoctrinated at school.

Pat yourself on the back for a job well done with keeping the wife happy - but don't take your eyes off your kid for a second. Public schools no longer worry about your child's education - they are solely concerned with their indoctrination and self esteem. They are actively pushing homosexuality, feminism and socialism at the kids and it is now so bad that millenials hit the workforce unprepared to handle a job, nevermind a marriage or parenthood. The influences that have created the vast legions of feral women today are working on your daughters and sons too.

Suburban_elk said...

An overall interesting post, and it is an introduction to the topic that wants to be bridged, the conflict slash irresolution slash reconciliation between gamers and family men. CH versus MPC in 15 rounds - who is winning and what are the numbers.

The criticism of the single-guy lifestyle is pretty sound. I agree with most all of it, and as a single guy. Don't even let me tell you about my problems with women. They suck (the problems, not the women) and have to do with mental health, but it is a biofeedback loop where if a guy doesn't have sex he goes crazy. In my case it knocked me down many times. No one wants to hear my problems but i see them as representative. People are not supposed to live these dull lives, we were not evolved to be dull screen-watching opinionaters. My great grandfather of the nth degree was a governor of Virginia back when politics was representative of the best men. I tried to get into the army and was refused, for medical reasons, but also for legal and mental health issues. Again, a grandiose personal sob - but people are failing. That great line i hear again and again, I could have been somebody ("I could have been a contender" - h/t Brando).

If you can't shake the cad behavior, you can game your wife and have the occasional affair.

This seems very out-of-character. The best people do not have affairs. My best childhood friend went on to a big career in business, 6 feet tall blond and true grey eyes, skinny strong but not an athlete, he got the best girl at his liberal arts college. Interestingly, she has not turned into the Sexiest MILF, but is hot enough. But he said to me, with that dreadful believability that has made him the success he is, I would never cheat on [her].

How could a person possibly maintain that relationship (of marriage) in a lie? I would suppose that a person could cheat on his wife, if he didn't lie about it. Rasputin-style.

Another one the two or three people i talk with, told me and i could hardly believe my ears, that he asked his wife (and mother of his children), if he could step out, if she wasn't going to give it up. That's integrity. That guy by the way is Arab Caucasian and has the highest levels of honesty.

I am an utter failure in life but with some real world accomplishments. The only thing that matters is real world relationships and the children. I am blessed to have some in my family, but i find that it doesn't quite do it - probably simply because someone else is taking care of them.

Again and as always, everything is said with plausible deniability but is all true. The reader is welcome to ignore what he does not like. I have only read the first two-thirds of the original post, and will give the rest some time. I know that this is somewhat awkward and uncomfortable, but whom do i have to talk with? it's crazy, i have seen maybe 20 or 30 talk-therapists, and with maybe one or two exceptions they were all fakes. But the people who go into that field know it is job security, and what's more, it's a position of power, over others, and it is often sanctioned by the powers-that-be. So they are like police officers but without the good-looks.

Anonymous said...

I liked this post. It really rang true for me. I'm in my mid-30s, and I was lucky enough to snag a thin, blond woman who wants nothing more in life than to be a loving wife and doting mother. I've got two happy, healthy little boys, and like you mentioned -- the highlight of their entire day is when daddy comes home from work. And sorry for getting all sentimental, but having your toddler snuggle in your arms until he falls asleep while your wife rubs the back of your neck and thanks you for going to work to support them is indeed better than just about anything else.

I don't mean to overly romanticize it and it's not like that's the way it goes every day. Yes, some days you do come home to a messy house and a stressed-out wife and crying kids and you wonder why you're there. But once in a while you get a great moment like that described above and it's all worth it.

Anonymous said...

SoBL -

I've hit a stage in my professional development where marriage and kids is viable, so I've begun to seriously explore my marriage options. Your post was very encouraging.

Could you expand upon your comment about having a private marriage? Specifically, the reasoning behind it and the practical aspects of pulling it off? I'd appreciate further insight.

guy said...

This single man shaming and all MGTOWs are lonely virgins is a red herring. The real issue my generation (millenials) have with marriage is that its one of the worst decisions a man could make in this legal and social climate. Women are biologically inclined to cheat on and lose attraction for their partner after the first few years. Besides the 4 year itch, the legal and financial incentives women have for divorce are immense, and for many, irresistable. Anyone pushing men to marry is doing them a great disservice. Theres a much better way. Have a live in girlfriend, have kids, and for all intents and purposes act like a married couple, but for gods sakes dont marry. Many of my friends do this, including kids, without issue.

I recognize that most upper class women will insist on marriage before kids, but maybe they can be persuaded at how meaningless marriage is as an institution. Thank you gays and Britney Spears for that one.

The only way I would condone marriage is in situations where strong social shaming and a rational legal system are used to enforce the marital contract. Ive considered moving to the Philippines for that very reason, but money issues may prevent it.

guy said...

Id venture part of the reason that long term relationships are difficult for millenials might have something to do with widespread access to pornography during our sexual development. That may have reinforced neural pathways for novelty over commitment.

That and, exposure to the red pill is becoming more common and relationships arent seen through such rosy eyed glasses anymore.

Son of Brock Landers said...


By private marriage all I mean is for all intents and purposes get married but you never get government recognition. This way your wife gets single mom treatment by the government and all those benefits.
1. You need to talk her into that
2. You can have the wedding ceremony with your family and friends
3. You just never have the government sanction it, therefore you just are like a cohabitation couple.

Tony Gonzalez did this with his wife. I know others who have done it. My wife and I would have done this had we realized the financial boon. This is also the stupidity to the gay marriage movement. Anyone can "get married" in a ceremony. The stupid gays wanted to have the government approve it. In reality, all the gays were signing up for was "legalized divorce".

Robert What? said...

Seems a bunch of the commenters here are wishing it all blows up in your face. That'll show you. I applaud your happiness. I wasn't so lucky in that department having been stuck in a sexless, duty-bound marriage. But then I made every mistake in the book when it came to "choosing" a wife. Many see the Red Pill as a warning not to get married. I see it as stuff I wish I had known back then to choose better.

Portlander said...

Et al, thinking you are out-smarting divorce court by co-habitating... good luck with that, but have you heard of Common Law marriage? An enterprising lawyer, a scorned woman, and a busy-body judge aren't going to be so easily denied.

SoBL, great piece. I really appreciate your demand-side treatment of the institution of marriage.

As for me, I feel it only fair to also give a nod to the supply-side. It is a complete and utter outrage sh*t like this is happening, and at the same time, the same people responsible for the economic factors leading to that, feel it necessary to import millions of foreigners to keep their many population pyramid schemes going, and which only further exacerbates the sh*t. If it weren't so serious we could joke it's the old "beating will continue until moral improves." That's why when those opportunities arise I admonish all right-thinking men to have 3-4 kids to f*ck with the Progs. Do your job to raise 'em right (granted not easy, but now that the Hivemind has made their playbook undeniably obvious, it's not that hard either -- they've all but lost the element of surprise) and the kids will do OK. They aren't going to be so easily replaced by a bunch of pepper-picking Indo's. Look at the rest of the world, it's whites that run the show everywhere but China and Japan. It's certainly not worth giving-up & surrendering over.

Anonymous said...

I sense a weird naivety in my generation.

On one hand, spending days eating from a tub and binge warching movies is seen as quit acceptable. On the other hand, extra-marital affairs are seen as terrible.

The best men do have affairs, of course they do. The best women accept it. There are much worse things for them to think of their life partner. Like that he is a loser.

It hurts the women but not in a wholly bad way. It proves that their offspring's father and their life partner is desired by younger ladies.

I know this because I know the best men of the older generations, and I know their wives. You can hear a lot of honesty if you listen.

Anonymous said...

Act like a man towards her and she won't treat you like a pussy.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

SOBL ~ Private marriage? Yes, there you go.

Suburban_elk said...

The best men do have affairs, of course they do. The best women accept it. There are much worse things for them to think of their life partner. Like that he is a loser.

But no, it gets down to directed evolution and integrity and the matter of your word. The best men will not lie.

Moral supposition-ing, and all that. That morals are supposed. Do we direct this evolution or not? Ultimately the answer fades to no but still we try. Anywaze you damned kids are doing are good job. You are smarter than me and that is a problem.

guy said...

Exactly. The clearest way to show your live in girlfriend that youre a man is to refuse government marriage.

Signor Farfalla said...

"Seems a bunch of the commenters here are wishing it all blows up in your face."

Kind of like how the writer wishes 'it all blows up in the face' of singles.

You see this kind of writing all the time. It's a guy pumping up his own decision and life course because he has some insecurity or jealousy, maybe the wife is getting dull (or has been for years). I'm single and I've made my choice. I don't need to attack my married friends in order to bulwark myself against regret. I'm just glad that most of them have great kids. I would attack them if I were jealous. I'm not. I'm quite happy with my life therefore I just wish happiness for them too. If the writer were truly happy and convinced he's living the right life, he wouldn't be paying any attention at all to singles. Instead he trashes them throughout. Psych 101. The ones who are hurt or insecure go on the attack. This writer seems to nearly break into cartwheels over the higher rate of suicide for singles. Transparent stuff.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Signor Farfalla - Holy fuck you didnt read my essay. I actually dislike people dumping on other life decisions to glorify their own. I never dump on the singles. Go live it up. This is the perfect time in America to be single.

Signor Farfalla said...

Oh I read it dude. Let's have a look at your putdowns (however indirect, passive-aggressive, hinty or what have you;

"Shucks, they also have to find the time to write up their nights out with autistic detail, vacation, tweet, read up all their fellow PUA and Game blogs, workout, eat, sleep, shop for clothes, shop for jewelry, juicing, and maybe hair removal."


"What's the latest fad that homos playahs do?"

You're going to say "But I was talking about PUA there, not singles." I already know you will say that.

"Those of us with kids look at the childless and wonder what the fuck they are doing with their lives."

Yeah, I guess that's what you do.

"Why aren't our single, childless friends writing books (like the Captain, bravo for him), painting awesome works of art or running a charity?"

Insinuation that singles are losers.

"Must be the cat gif distractions keeping them from writing the Great American Novel."


"I suspect a growing factor is people so in love with themselves they can't be bothered to have kids or productive passions."


"Internet playas posting about wanting a thin 7 who can cook, screw and love them."

You really want to be like me

"I'm sure in the retirement home we'll all wish for more frequent visits,"

Crowing about your superior life

"but I'm not going to sit around listening to some lame fucking story about a PUA bagging a hardbody 9 in 2003."

Assuming the lameness of people who chose differently than you.

"Some lonely fucker stuck remember when-ing about some one night stand"


"ant people"

Straight up insult.

"what's in it for me" rootless cosmopolitans.


"Please keep walking down your path of single, childless living. Be awesome at it! Be the best! You'll never hear criticism from me."

Here your hostility is starting to spin out of control and then you super-hamster things back into line with 'You'll never hear criticism from me' (except for this whole essay)

"I won't waste tweets describing the PUA crowd as hedonistic, selfish vampires, leeching off of society, damaging whatever you touch."

Nasty. But don't waste tweets!

"Neither will I post statistics about suicide, shorter life spans, depression and whatnot for single, childless people."

Hooray for your team.

"We all choose different paths."

Hamster to the rescue. You're not an asshole. You're being fair. Ha ha.

You wrote the article to be hostile to those who chose differently than you and you sprinkle in these little asides to win your cognitive balance. You need to check your hamster brother.

"I actually dislike people dumping on other life decisions to glorify their own."

Jesus, man. That's all you did here. Nothing else.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Signor Farfalla - How does it feel? I read the reverse of this whenever I stop by my favorite game-PUA-manosphere blogs.

Signor Farfalla said...

So you're admitting that you're just one bookend of two poorly behaving entities. Fair enough.

Try this; Live your life and respect others' choices, even if they're different than your own. The PUAs/MGTOWS etc don't always do that---you're right. There is a lot of trash in the manosphere doing various crappy things. One is belittling those who chose a different life than they did (in order to fortify their own decisions). You don't have to jump into the stupid rivalry. Be better than that.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Nope. Not admitting it because this wasn't about singles. You interpreted it this way because there is truth to every statement made. You're single and the non-glamorous single life truth hurt.

This actually was just to talk about how marriage can be a good choice. It can be terrible and I freely admit that and it is not for everyone, which I make very clear. I also know it is an awesome time to be single if gamed well but most don't and live empty lives.

Whatever path you choose, put in the effort.

Signor Farfalla said...

"Not admitting it because it wasn't about singles"

"The non-glamorous single life truth hurt"

(I thought it wasn't about singles)

"Most don't and live empty lives"

This is exactly my point. You disparage those who chose differently than you. You didn't choose the single life. How are you such an expert on it? "Empty". How would you know?

Your pattern continues of; taking shots against those who chose differently than you which you then clear up with a rationalization or some contrary sentiment.

You are like the "I'm not racist...BUT...." guy.

"I'm not talking about singles here...BUT..they live empty lives."

"I'm not admitting I was disparaging singles...BUT...the truth hurts. Single-life is non-glamorous."

"I'm not talking about singles but there is truth to every statement I made about these people that I'm not talking about."

And your pattern continues...Bash, bash, bash and then sanctimony. Insults and then the breezy; "Whatever path you choose, put in the effort" Okay, man.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Shucks, I dont know how I have any insight into single life, I only have plenty of single friends that I keep in touch with on a regular and sometimes intimate basis as they discuss deeper issues.

My single friend in Philly lives the life all single men should aspire to live. Interesting job, cute women, learned a new language for travel, and he takes one cool vacation each year. Singles should aspire to be like him. Few do. They could if they put in the effort but they don't. Selling the single life as a never-ending river of milk and honey is a lie just as much as selling married life as never-ending joy is a lie. All paths take work.

It isn't about singles. The parts of this essay that pointed out how that life isn't always glamorous were truth and hurt. You're still commenting on this post.

Signor Farfalla said...

But I thought this "wasn't about singles," (your words). If you're going go to war with those who chose differently than you, then do it. You're trying to take your jabs (obviously this helps you deal with your own decisions) and then you patch it up with some comment that allows you to be above it all. That pattern has played out about 5 or 6 times now.

Son of Brock Landers said...

It's not about singles. Singles get mentioned in juxtaposition to the married life. After the third time, I expect you to catch on.

No war. It's Internet essays. I think the single life is very enticing today, and I think a guy like the Captain does it incredibly well. Free sex is out there for anyone willing to put in the effort. I also dont need to rationalize my decisions. I have a great life. I know with my energy and ability, whatever situation I'd be in, I'd excel.

But look up above at how you describe these words, "derogatory", "disrepect", "insult", "straight up insult"... are you just hurt? Do you need a hug? Do you need a binky?

Signor Farfalla said...

Oh man. You are the best. It's like you're schizophrenic how you play both sides.

Yeah, I claimed that you were being insulting...Then you refute that by...insulting me.

This is getting hilarious.

"I also don't need to rationalize my decisions. I have a great life."


Please respond. This is so funny. Are you a millenial, btw?

Son of Brock Landers said...

Nah, Gen X. I truly live a blessed life. I know if I lived a bachelor's existence, I'd go 100% there, too. I've just been a lucky person in life.

Agreed, hilarious. I dont get how you don't get that my essay was not insulting but now I am insulting your sensitivity. That is not schizophrenia but the changing reaction to changing stimuli.

I have meetings all afternoon, so I am tied up for the rest of the day.

Signor Farfalla said...

"Hey man, I'm so cool. I just want everyone to live life to the fullest, like I do. Whatever anyone does it's all good--even losers who are different than me. If I had been a loser like them, I would have made it awesome. Luckily I have a better life that isn't empty that's why I take to the internet to blast people that chose differently than me even though I didn't do that! Don't be so sensitive. Do you need a binky even though I wasn't insulting you. If people choose differently than me then that's great even though they are losers. I'm not saying that though because I'm not talking about those people that I'm insulting, I'm talking about greater people. I'm not talking about people who chose differently than me but IF I DID, WHICH I'M NOT, I would say they are losers but I'm not talking about them so it's cool. I didn't say anything. I just hope they can be as awesome as I would be if I were them. I wish everyone the best, even losers who couldn't be similar to me."

----Son of Brock Landers.

Anonymous said...

Amen. I just got married and had twin boys.

The joy of having a family is real. All the Red Pilled PUA dudes are on the money about women's behavior... but their "Men Going Their Own Way" bullshit is beta nonsense. A real Alpha male has children

The reality is that if you are good looking enough, and leave your computer once in a while, you can rack up 20+ "hot babes", party, do whatever drugs you want, and travel... all before you're 28.

Then you settle down, pick a good wife (with all of your experience with women and sex, you'll know much better than the guy who never spent time with women), have kids, and you'll get to enjoy both side of the experience.

I think this used to be normal, now... it's a mess

Anonymous said...

Final thought: The "NEVER GET MARRIED" PUA boys are too beta/angry/weak to keep a good woman on lock-down for more than a few months. They'll rationalization-hamster their way into pathetic 40-something sport bar urchins bragging about that HB10 they bagged when they were 32... meanwhile their DNA fades into the aether

tonsplace said...

12 plus years of direct action ground combat,burying 24 friends, assisting crippled friends etc has been a more positive experience then somewhat less then 12 years of marriage.

Personally, I am doing much better then average in the current smp but if tradcons want men to marry, they need to fix the incentives and we all know that is a laundry list of issues to be addressed. Without tradcons addressing these things, their words are wind, full of sound and furry, signifying nothing. Not sure myself what any individual tradcon can do himself, but I reckon keeping their own woman in line, role modelling a decent marriage, with a decent sex life, submissive/ respectful wife, no fiscal mismanagement etc and raising daughter's worthy of the risk would be step one. How often do we see that? Reckon much less often then the number of men who claim to be tradcons with good marriages and worthy daughters

Basically, tradcons have to create a product that inspires men to ignore the risks, but aside hobbies and masculine pursuits like building bikes, long weekends fishing or riding around in you hot rod etc, but have failed to do so. And yes, it has to be the tradcons who create this product because the other side is for damn sure not interested

Not all states have common law marriages, so yes I am out smarting the legal system. Here there is no real chance of palimony; married "biological fathers" have two years to contest paternity through dna, non married fathers have longer, married fathers tend to pay much less in child support and the court system tends to work harder to ensure visitation for non marrried biological fathers then men who were married to the mother (has to do with rates of voluntary child support payment).

Tactical reality of the battlefield is, in the state I live unmarried fathers have advantages married fathers do not. Reckon North Carolina isn't the only state like that

There are no shortages of married men without biological children as well so that is another lame counter argument. It does sound nice and bombastic though. Good rallying cry for the shallow thinkers.

As for me, I support men living the lives they choose to live and them making decisions for themselves based on the most accurate intelligence possible. MGTOW? Yep I am a supporter; man finds a likely bride, support that too. Only thing I am 100% against is military men being married, and I think a man's N count should be at least 30 before he marries (only way I can think of for a man to really understand the mental games women play is to play it, winning more then he looses). Ideally around 100. Anyrate, as I see it, the reason there is a tradcon/ mgtow clash is folks are controls fiends


Son of Brock Landers said...

Why no on the military men being married?

The 30 count line sounds good before marrying.

Reforming alimony, child support and the domestic assault insta-arrest regardless of who hits needs to happen. Another vicious thing is the restraining order fraud shit that women use when they first file for divorce. Seen men ruined by that.

tonsplace said...

On deployments, 50% of the wives go whoring( roughly, sometimes more sometimes less) but as a general rule, 50% of the married men will catch their wives whoring around. That's the wives dumb enough to get caught by their husband half a world away. Dumb enough or don't care enough to hide it. What the actual rate is? Who knows but I reckon it is much higher then 50%. One trip down range, the rate was fight at 70%, with a man ending his 26 year marriage because his wife brought the man home to fuck her while their 17 year old son was home. Their fucking woke him up

Newly married men, vets with 26 year old marriages, dudes in between... doesn't really matter.

As for those laws being changed, that too is a good place for tradcons to start. Either way, if they want men to marry, they need to fix a lot of issues, legal, economic, social.... world without end amen

I am many of my friends are those men. Cannot say ruined by ran through the grinder.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Jesus that doesnt make it on the "Welcome Home Dad" TV moments for troops returning home.

I'd love to see the laws changed so we do not create incentives and payouts for bad behavior. As more women outearn men, husbands will have the chance to cheat and get a payout, so watch alimony laws start changing then. I hate family court for the hoops they force men to jump thru compared to moms. My dad's closest friend had his ex-wife get the kids 3 separate times. After the first 2 times, she returned the kids to his house (literally on the front porch at night with suitcases packed and a note), went on benders and then cleaned up. The courts kept returning the kids to her until finally the oldest kid was 16 and able to testify against the mom.