Monday, December 24, 2012

The SWPL Touch Hurts All - Hobbies Edition

The local metro newspaper had a little 'living' article on the latest retro fad on the edge: Victorian era throwbacks. These are SWPLs who fit every SWPL category: educated, living in a transitioning gentrified area, liberals, quirky, obnoxious and pretentious. This boiled my blood as my wife and I love the Victorian + Edwardian period. Those sons of bitches couldn't just stick to their Mad Men nostalgia and leave our Victorian era love alone. It's cutesy get togethers as part of the Victorian nonprofit, the steampunk lovers monthly meeting, or the historical appreciation society (dressing up in the period styles is welcome). It's an arbitrary setting for them to get together and have the same conversations as normal SWPL parties with the Victorian theme and occasional educational piece. I hate them. I hate this because this will limit the possibility of Neo-Victorianism from spreading. This will turn some people off from looking at Victorian stuff because SWPLs turn people off from the things they embrace. Mainstream folks go, "Oh, those fucking obnoxious shits like that, fuck that, where's my fantasy football app?". SWPLs limit and hurt what they make their own because of their toxic touch.

Here's their stupid take on everything. They don't just like something because it's good, enjoyable, fun, beautiful. They like it and go autistic on it to know everything superficial about it to lord their appreciation for it over you with their expertise. As an example, SWPLs on sushi, spoken in that SWPL air as they adjust their horn rimmed glasses: "Oh you unrefined souls like it because the texture of different sashimi and sushi rolls and for the flavors of peculiar pieces. Oh and you even like how you can sample many types of fish quickly. Well I like sushi because sushi is so much healthier for you than the standard american diet and the presentation of the specific rolls from this chef is superb. I spent two weeks in Japan and watched 3 documentaries on the craft, it's a craft not just food preparation. The ritual and ceremony of eating sushi, which I do with just my towel cleaned hands, is me honoring the zen buddhist care for everything that one touches in life". FUCK YOU SWPLS! I am cool with atheists and vegetarians (even vegans), but not those evangelical, morally righteous vegetarians and atheists that tsk tsk you for not being like them. Even in this article one of the quoted women has the SWPL turned to '11'. She mentions immediately she wouldn't support child labor but loves the look and manners. No shit! Who would support child labor, and why mention it first? Another woman even rips on her city, Indianapolis, to say how in those days Indy was thought of higher than any time int he 20th/21st centuries. See plebians, your world of now is below me.

Block quote from woman with hyphenated last name:

"I don't agree with children working in factories," said Benedict Berkson, alluding to one of the period's more awful aspects. "But aesthetically -- the Victorian clothes, the Victorian architecture, the manners -- that's the prism through which I enjoy Victoriana. "Please don't paint me as some kind of nut," added Benedict Berkson, who also runs the blog Historic

This is what SWPLs do with everything. Now they're doing it with the Victorian era. The very peak of civilization. Victorians fostered research, science, discussion, and exploration. Everything we have is due to their enlightened and energetic attitude in the 19th century, yet they were not infected with the push for power (especially political power) and had not turned against themselves, somehow angry and mad at how they got to the top like later Anglos. They saw a brotherhood of man yet recognized different groups had different abilities. They questioned or were skeptical of God but allowed the freedom to observe however you would want to. They had manners, still believed in honor, but they wrote fantastic sex filled stories, were open minded on using alcohol and even opium and knew that sex had a time and a place in life under proper control. Look SWPLs, America didnt have the Victorian era. It is a British thing. America had the antebellum South, Civil War, Reconstruction and the Gilded Age. These SWPL retro-enactors don't get the nuance or core beliefs of Victorians, and they twist the beliefs of the Victorian English to suit their modern 21st century liberal American needs. "They were so refined, ahem, but forget the rules of property and tradition >cough< I like the costumes.".You are that stupid that you don't understand the basics of the Victorian era. The SWPL Victorian enthusiasts and the reporter were dumb enough to not know that the Edwardian period is the period directly after the Victorian period. Here's the dirty secret SWPLs. It's the same with their other little SWPL cultural identification pieces: rudimentary exposure dressed up in GRE exam vocabulary is the depth of their knowledge.

Returning to the quote above on Indy being viewed better and the grasping at a higher level of civilization, SWPLs are once again protesting the modern world. These fools who always vote progressive and want nationalized health care and other BS are spotlighting an era of over 100 years ago which had a higher profile for the church, a patriarchy, traditional gender roles and a rigid class system. SWPLs know something is wrong with today even if they are the people running it. Once a month for one hour or a whole evening, they can pretend to be in another time. They can forget the world around them and act as upper middle class people of a period where that class had some serious swag and a firm grasp on enforcing the law to keep things safe. Those cobblestone streets were so much safer than the urban caverns of today.

Maybe I am reading into their motivations too deeply. Maybe something more simple is at play. What if all of this is just cosplay with a fancy name? Looks like cosplay. Actually it looks like 35 year olds playing dress up. What does the following sound like a 5 year old or a Victorian SWPL enthusiast: "Me + my friends are going to get together Saturday and dress up in old clothes that we got from special stores, old attics, and Goodwill, but I cant wear them often because I might ruin them. I used my mom's old gloves which fit funny but they look so cool with my hat and big poofy dress. Thom is going to wear his grampa's old top hat and some stuffy tie from his dad. We're going to talk with funny accents, use old timey ways of doing things and be prim and proper. We'll even have tea!" I ask you, 5 year old tea party or SWPL Victorian Steampunk meeting?

There may be a day coming when the order of things is gone. There might be a time when enough people question the way things are going to seek alternatives. Many people look to the past. The Victorians were not perfect. They did have a system that worked to build and maintain the first truly global empire. They were a free and safe society with limited voting yet safe political and intellectual harbors for those on the far right or far left seeking refuge. In a period of flux or collapse, I'd gladly steal a page or two from the Victorians. I curse the SWPLs for embracing a period we should look to for guidance, not laugh at because a bored Aidan and Penelope with their horn rimmed glasses wants to play dress up and escape this world that they push farther down the road of "progress".


Paul Kirchner said...

SWPLs know something is wrong with today even if they are the people running it.

. . . And that says it all.

asdf said...

It's probably a sexual fetish thing for a lot of them too.

grerp said...

Totally turned off by the whole Steampunk/cosplay thing. Seems like total narcissism - "Look at me, look at how cool I am!"

Though I'm not really that keen on Victoriana. I associate the era with laudanum and absinthe, coal dust and miasma, cholera and tuberculosis, child labor, and punishing inheritance taxes. Oh, and Darwin.

The clothes were pretty, but they must have been a horror to launder.

Ulysses said...

Wine falls into this category too. I like wine, I like good wine, but it's a beverage. They can't just drink it; they have to dissect it. It's annoying.