Thursday, August 28, 2008

Guilt Trips

While exchancing emails with my mom, she sent me the 'i am sad to think my grandkids won't see me' note. Here's the background: she has no grandkids right now and won't for another 5 years. My folks saved lots of money and worked hard for years. They have amassed enough in savings to create a "trust" for when they retire and then 30+ years from now pass on, and to be considered "evil upper middle class" people in the eyes of Obama voters. Thanks to working for major corporations (evil entities for socialists out there), the money they will receive from pensions annually will be almost twice what the average US household earns. This is before you get into Social Security payments and minimum requirement 401k withdrawals. They will have a paid off house and no degenerate kids leeching off of them. They will cruise with their hard earned savings, pensions, etc.

Now how in the hell can they not see their grandkids? Oh yeah, my family will be 1000 miles away. What, no airplanes? Oh wait, airplanes exist. What will they do, work full time until 80? Nope, they are now planning on retiring around 60. God forbid they leave Maine for maybe a month or two (maybe Nov-Dec) to visit their first born and his family. Oh that's right, my dad could never leave his family nor his hometown for longer than 2 weeks, and my mom will deny the economic ease of their retirement until we show account statements totalling a billion dollars.

Why even declare residency in Maine? Why not move here to Indy for "6 months", spend 3 in Florida and then 3 in Maine? I type "6 months" because that can be a loose number as what state government has the time to track two retired people for their real residency, so they can mix and match as they see fit. I think 6 months in Florida is far smarter. Maine has awesome seafood, an ocean, pretty forests that my parents don't care about, my parents' extended families that they find mostly annoying, and my sister's family. Maine's state taxes will just drain away money they saved for years for retirement at a higher rate than either Florida or Indiana. Maine costs more to live in than those two states. Cold winters with lots of snow that wreck havoc on my dad's bad knee.

My folks use my sister as their excuse for living in Maine in retirement and my sister uses my parents as her excuse for living in Maine. Maine is beautiful. It really is. I miss Portland and the beach of Kinney Shores that I grew up on. I'm not moving back though, and why can't my folks meet me halfway and spend a month or two here if they want to see future grandkids so much?

1 comment:

"AG" said...

I think you should move back to Maine. I know, it's not what you were looking to read. The reason they won't move is because you can't get good Whoopie pie outside of Maine.

Really, though, I don't know why.