Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Whole Tall White Male Dating Asian Woman Thing

When I went off to the big, far away university, my folks geared up for the probability that I would meet, fall in love, and marry someone who didn't look like me or doubted that Jesus was the son of God. I was a very open minded guy when it came to dating women in college. By odd luck attending a school that was 20% Asian, I never once dated an Asian girl. This made me one of the 5 white guys over 6 feet tall who did not date an Asian woman. This was a common sight at Cornell. The joke was that on the first day at the engineering school, they measured white guys, and if over 6 feet tall, handed them a T-85 graphing calculator and a 5' 1", 90 lb Asian girlfriend.

What exactly makes this work? In simple, retarded blogger terms, I think it comes down to many different factors of modern American culture. From the Asian chick side, I think tall men are considered desirable, dating outside your ethnic circle is considered kind of chic (I don't like this stupid thinking), and then some lame excuse for another ethnicity having more virile men. That last one happens everywhere, as a Kenyan friend told me that to get down with European males was considered a prize due to their reputation for virility. This made me laugh for about 5 minutes. On the tall, white male side, I'm going to cite the current white male preference for thin, petite, *thin women* stereotypes of Asian female sexual prowess, submissive behavior, and loyalty, *thin women* and finally, the spread of pornography, which has turned Asians *thin women* into a giant, fetish subculture. Seriously, every guy who dated an Asian girl at Cornell was hoping he lucked into finding the brainy Kobe Tai or Asia Carrera. I wouldn't dismiss the stories of uncles and older cousins who take trips to Asian countries or serve in foreign wars in Asia and come back with wild stories. The whole sex tourism trade is disturbing to me, but it is one hell of a moneymaker. Add to this being in a liberal college atmosphere, and it is a perfect storm.

I generally dislike it when people take something out to a fetish because to me, it's a sign of some mental switch that is being turned on as if the object fetishized is a representation of something else they want or a means to get somewhere else mentally... but whatever floats your boat. A female, Asian comic in Boston would make jokes about this dating game and subverted the very idea. As she said she had never seen a limp, white penis, and then would ask a girl in the front row if she could make her p*ssy tighter. After hearing no, she would say to the boyfriend, I'm sorry... but I can help. One night in college, I was at a friend's apartment and my Irish-German girlfriend at the time pulled me aside after 2 hours of socializing and asked why all of my friends had Asian girlfriends (yup, 4 for 4). I looked around and noticed it for the first time. I was quick on my feet and said "jesus christ, what the hell am I doing with you?" Like many stereotypes and racist things like dating solely on a fetish basis, I find it lame even if it is a positive stereotype (all asian women = sexy). Personally, I look forward to the day when a friend of mine can introduce his fiancee, and we find out she is Asian yet no one says "sweet, asian chick". I have a dream. I have a dream. One day we can just get down with people of all races and creeds and no one will immediately run for the gutter by making a positive racist comment or implying some different ability or taste of that different ethnicity. Yes we can!


Anonymous said...

Awesome and perceptive entry here dude, it's hard to find people that tell it like it is and tall white guys are a 'prize' for short Asian chicks regardless of looks or character. The irony here is that I am a 5' 10" white guy married to a 6' foot Asian gal. Boy I love to buck the trend!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm a five foot Asian dating a 6'5" Irishman. He's 40 and I'm 23. He looks like Shreck and he calls me princess Fiona. We laugh about it. I am the first generation to go to college. My parents speak broken English to get by. He came from a poor family and worked his way up. We love each other through the understanding of being poor, having only 2 outfits for school, socks with holes, and high water pants. He is a prize in my eyes in a sense he love me for who I am. I have no fortune to bring to the table. He knows I have school loans to my neck. But in return I don't ask him for money, I dont wear name brand things, and I love being me. Black hair, tanned skin, and black eyes. Part of being Vietnamese in America since the undeclared Vietnam war growing/borned in the US is that we are stuck in the middle. When I am here in my country (the US) we're not yet fully accepted. We're still ethnic and immigrant in some ways although I speak perfect Bostonian accent. :) But when I go to Vietnam, I am not vietnamese. They call me the American child. Some even look at me as "tainted" with Western culture. So for us Asian girls, we are in a transition. Its still kind of new to see Asians with white but its bound to happen right? Same goes for any race. The reason you think we Asian feel like dating a different race is a prize winning thing is because we understand that we are not shackled down by the male dominance mentality of our root culture and forced to stick to our own race like we are different type of species instead when we are all humans who breathe air, drink water, and love with our heart. My boyfriend and I get odd looks in the summer when I ride on his shoulder walking on the beach path. I dont see a white man, I see the other half of my soul I have been searching for.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Thank you both for your comments, especially comment 2. I've dated all types. A good relationship is about chemistry not fetish.

Anonymous said...

ha! dude - I think we knew each other at cornell; just put the two and two together. and the anony blogger

Noriko Murphy said...

It is not so unusual seeing Japanese women dating with American men in Japan nowadays and the international marriages of Japanese women and Western men are also increasing every year. There are many different reasons you can think of why more and more Japanese women want to date with American men today and even get married with them. Here are the top five reasons why Japanese women want to date with American men and answers for what they really want from American men.

- See more at: The top five reasons why Japanese women want to date with American men

Chloe Robin said...

A tall, non-Asian male would be an equivalent to Gregor Clegane for Cerci Lannister from Game of Thrones.

Raised in an oppressive environment all her life, Asian girls typically dream of escape to a different reality.

1. It's easy to flatter an oppressed Asian girl. Southeast Asian culture expects men to be stoic. It's common that a father may never compliment on his daughters' looks after puberty.

2. Tall men in general have lower voices than shorter men. Lower the frequency of the voice, further it travels. Since men tend to be attracted to what intrigues them, I'm assuming tall men with very low voices find women with feminine voice refreshing, at least.

3. Asian women are tiny... everywhere. However, it does not mean that sex is any less... "fun". Women, you must understand, are able to give birth. As long as there's enough lube, and you guys take your time with each other, you can do a lot.

*Too long; didn't read: Be careful with Asian women. Some are broken, inside. All they need and want is your genuine affection, and quality food/ingredients to cook with, at least. Oh, and just as any household pets, make sure there's a space/room for her to retreat to (so she can go crazy with her thoughts and you wouldn't have to deal with it).

Thomas Morris said...

White men asian women dating and marrying is nothing new my wife and I have been married 45 years