Several readers and Twitter folks have asked if I read P.T. Carlo's blog post "Against Trad Dads". I did. I recommend reading Thermidor for original content. Carlo is right. The tone is a negative, but the core message is right. These Trad Dads have a habit of using family formation as a solution to all of life's problems, and fail to recognize the reality of the sexual marketplace as it stands today.
It is an incredibly difficult dating market. It is incredibly difficult to find someone who openly buys into forming a family. Marriage and parenthood are great things and good goals for the greater good. They are not for everyone, man or woman. My message for years has been: figure out your path and then walk it full power. Trad Dads are trying to fight the good fight in an age of decay.
Carlo's point about the evangelical nature of some Trad Dads is spot on. I won't comment or even defend the bad Trad Dads like the Dreher types. Thermidor's picking on Dreher has reached epic proportions and is thoroughly enjoyable. Trad Dad evangelicism is as annoying as the evangelical segment of any group. Attempting to be more traditional in how one forms a household is difficult in this day and age. I do not know if I count as a trad dad, but my goal is a home where dad provides, mom focuses on family, mom and dad raise the kids and the kids grow up with a healthy home of men being men, women being women and we all pray to Jesus Christ at a local Catholic Church. I live in a red state, which makes this far more normal than those with blue state blues.
I am fully aware of our degenerate culture. Look at the blog posts I have made about cartoons, television shows and whatnot. That is me actively monitoring cultural products and warning you. A dad can only do so much and prepare his kids so much because they will end up jumping out of the plane like a paratrooper into the wider world. Trad Dads are trying to be protective because they are all products of their age and recognize how awful our society has become. It's an attempt to carve out a bit of safety to even just jump back to a 1980s environment for raising their kids. Not fully 1980s, as these dads don't want their wives working to avoid the daycare or latchkey outcome.
I personally think some of these Trad Dads are faking things. I'm a dad, and if you meet me, the guy you meet is the guy I am at home. My wife and I agreed on going beyond two children because we wanted to, and trust me, as we contemplate anymore we recognize our goals and focus are out of whack with broader society. I mentioned to my parents that we were considering a fourth. My mom was surprised and seemed pleased. My dad's first words with accompanying pained, whiner look was, "Why would you do that?" Breaking a kid down to the cost-benefit analysis was horribly disappointing to hear but revealed that his orientation is around money (small souled bug man). Ours is not. My wife and I are different from our peers from our home blue state. We are fully cognizant of this circumstance of Weimerica.
With that said, how are Trad Dads forming and crafting a home? Tradition was so obliterated by the 20th century progressive mandarins that one ends up creating a cargo cult type tradition in one's home of things you heard worked. I've been pushing for a while now for people to push back, create traditions and resurrect old rituals and traditions into one's homelife. Think about that for one second though. Many people do not know the old traditions automatically. This leads many to just default to 'build a family and try to make enough money for your wife to stay at home with the kids'.
A family now is a rebellion in this modern age. Having a family beyond 1.4 kids in a blue state is a revolution. As /pol even pointed out, how did wanting a decent life with a wife and kids become reactionary? Carlo's essay has great points, and I am stunned how the Houellebecq character Bruno truly has become a male avatar for the crystallization that this is a rapidly changing time that offers little in stability or even a desire for linking to the past or future.
Carlo's tone was a bit more black pill and negative than it had to be. Someone in our sphere asked me about having kids and I said, "It's awesome. It's not the affection or hugs and kisses sweetness of kids but the discovery of life. When a kid starts thinking and getting the world, it's amazing. It's the gift of experiencing life." Yes, the world is an increasingly dark place. That does not have to stop you from seeking things to bring you happiness and make your immediate world a better place. It's like laughing at childless white nationalists that come up with depressing reasons to not have kids. Weird since Europeans had children through the Black Plague, Hun invasions, Muslim invasions, Thirty Years War, Hundred Years War and World Wars.
If you want to change a Trad Dad, if you want to stop the evangelical nature or teasing at the single men around him, start hitting him with the reality of dating. Throw it in his face about what women who go through the college Marxist indoctrination system are like. Show him the texts you receive from women. Shake his cage. Challenge him as you would challenge a prog, but with a different ending, ask him for a plan. Ask him, "how am I suppose to get from here to there?"