Monday, April 04, 2016

Rob Ford Is Dead

Wait Rob Ford died? Oh damn, it had to have been alcohol poisoning or alcoholi-nope it was cancer. Holy shit, he was young or was he, the guy was so fucking fat I couldn't tell. 46. Man, cancer doesn't fuck around.

Howthefuckdoyouevenpickafavoriterobfordmoment? When he bowled over the lady at the city meeting, it was hilarious for his utter disregard for a human being in his path. Dancing to reggae was pretty great. How do you top the image of him being tickled though?

Rob Ford was like a fat baby in that picture. Look at the glee in his eyes. Look at his smile. That is joy. Even the other guy looks happy. This odyssey was a Chris Farley movie brought to life: Tommy Boy, Mayor. Riddle me that on democracy. How the hell do we get Rob Ford as a mayor of a city bigger than Rumford, Maine? Democracy.

HowthehelldidIevenhearabouthim? Ohhhh was it the mayor may have done crack media fiasco? That was it. Who the fuck is doing crack in the 2010s? is crack really that good. Why do this in power? Why do this at all, but why when in power. His goddamn excuse was he must have done it when he was really drunk. He was excusing drug use due to his drunken state. Ford moved to the Marion Barry hall of fame, and was that part of the absurd focus?

Now honestly, did the white pigmentation aid in the media attention? Here was a drunken, drug using mayor of a big city acting in reprehensible ways but finally a white one so the media chattering classes could point and laugh? This happens, hell Marion Barry is still on the DC city council (and hates Asians), but it is never a media approved target [edit: Marion Barry died, but was on the council well after the crack and corruption arrests]. We haven't had a national conversation on a mass shooting in a while since the last several have been performed by non-whites. How the hell can the media spend time showcasing how messed up black political leaders are in between multiple television ads of the black father in a business suit coming home to a 3000 square foot home and 2 kids? If Ford were black would the news article call him "disgraced" in the dancing video? Wouldn't he be the affable, friendly and lovable rogue?

Even his sex scandal got more immediate attention than the Anthony Weiner scandal. The media defended Weiner for a while and even tried to rehabilitate him. Ford was being accused of anything and it was quickly picked up and believed. The man uttered the funniest denial of cheating in the history of political sex scandals.

Stopforamoment, stop stop stop and listen to his words. He was answering to charges he performed cunnilingus on another woman. Hookers were even involved. You couldn't write that in unless it was the lowest of cheap comedy films.

How did this guy become a symbol for anyone to use as a top ticket figure? It says more about the donors that they could not figure out how to position someone else as their candidate for mayor. What is the goal of these guys? is it to maximize the value of real estate for the developers? Can the donors just debate onstage their proposals rather than place the fat puppets like Rob Ford onstage? Make Toronto safe? What is it? Do you know, because I cannot figure it out and this is how we get stuck with guys like Rob Ford supposedly in charge of major Western cities.

I'll thank you Rob Ford. Thank you for showing how broken this system is and useless it is. You lost your fight with cancer, but your memory will live on.

Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!


Portlander said...

Welcome back, SoBL.

I've said this before, but never hurts repeating: any non-trivial, non-special case elected official is a sociopath with skeletons in their closet.

Those that do not fit that description never make out of the minor leagues.

First Barrier to Entry: Sane individuals have no desire to work on a daily basis with the craven, blood-sucking, naked Statists, who choose politics as a career (as opposed to "giving back" as a calling in a 2nd act career).

Second Barrier to Entry: Without skeletons that can be leveraged for control when the chips are down, donors are not going to fund the candidate. Without funding it's impossible to rise above the scrum and get one's message out to the low information marginal swing voter that votes like they root for teams in the NFL (ie. pure identity appeal w/o any rational consideration). If push really comes to shove, the donor class will fund candidates against them to keep the person from getting too high an office, where they could begin snowballing their appeal among voters.

Alexandros HoMegas said...

How a fat crack addict became mayor of Toronto? There is something more to this story.

ARoss said...

The crack thing didn't come out until he was in office, but happened while he was coaching football at a local high school. the funniest thing about the whole she-bang is he'd still make a better Prime Minister than Prime Minister Truvada

Corn said...

Great little post SoBL. Ford was a character all right. A bit off topic but did everyone see this?:

Anonymous said...

Marion Barry is no longer on the DC City Council, primarily because he died in 2014.

Zimri said...

Rob Ford, movie trailer