Wednesday, June 24, 2015

It's Time We Let the South Go

As any good Yankee, I stopped looking at cat gifs, my Iphone, the Daily Show and Internet porn long enough last week to see the outrage over the Confederate flag. I had not thought of that flag in years since an old girlfriend wore it as a bikini top for a Rednecks + White Trash Party. Still, the media told me that I should be angry about it. Since I am emotionally constipated like any good American and no celebrity of high stature had died that week, I too became outraged and angry. It got me thinking. It's time we let the South go.

Here is my multipoint plan. This is a rough sketch, but when has that ever stopped a Yankee on a crusade.

1. All states of the old confederacy are ejected out of the United States.

2. Borderland states not formerly part of the Confederacy but full of enough evil white people that I suspect are confederates by thought if not mood should be given the option to leave. This would be Oklahoma, Missouri, Kentucky, West Virginia, Illinois and even you Indiana. I know you had the Klan active in the 20th century, bigotlords.

3. As any good Yankee, I have much love for my black brothers and sisters, sorry, my black bruthas and sistahs. I would guarantee safe passage, and house these angelic refugees in the progressive states of Massachusetts, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Vermont. Those states have the great schools that blacks have been dying to enter. We'll find jobs for them... eventually.

4. For borderland states, it would be best to save the large metropolitan areas of Chicago and St. Louis as American colonies, while allowing the remaining riffraff of flyover neaderthals to separate. These cities will shine with bright blue lights as beacons of the progressive American spirit. I can just see flashing blue lights and sirens blasting every night in those cities, trumpeting the victory of progressivism over hate!

5. Looking at the map, it might be best to chuck out a bunch more of those flatland, square states. Fuck you flyover hicks! Complaing????? Go tell it to Jesus!

6. Since we good Yankees reject warfare, nukes and violence, we will transfer military equipment, nuclear submarines and nuclear weapons to those stupid crackers. We've got smart diplomacy, and we're not afraid to use it.

This would be a great boon for the remaining United States. We progressives would see the realization of our 2015 dreams. Renewable energy everywhere, mandatory bike lanes, no nukes, no more war, gay men could spend all the time alone with small children they want, and the crown jewel, Nationalized Health Care. Did you read that? I know your Yankee eyes may have blacked out as you orgasmed over the idea of being an arts history major but knowing your parents can rest easy and say "At least we know she has health insurance". It could all be America's if only we kicked those Yosemite Sam acting, Foghorn Leghorn talking, sundress wearing assholes out! Let's do this!

16 comments:

Ted said...

I know you are trying to be funny but you fail miserably.

The Confederate flag is a symbol of hate treason and slavery.

The murders were the direct result of the evil mindset that permeates American society.

All that will change very soon though. The country is becoming more diverse and People of Color are having more children than whites. Also, whites are intermarrying at a high rate.

I take great pleasure in the fact the white girls will bear the children of Black MEn

Son of Brock Landers said...

Ted, I know remember you from Chuck's old blog. Wow, troll transfer. I'm honored.

jonathanjones02 said...

The whole debate is depressing, not just the reality but the philosophical background....Lincoln's messianic crusade for a New Jerusalem v. the South's clearly stated (just look the succession declarations) of slave-driven imperial expansion.

Empire of Liberty fail. That's the main story.

Hugh said...

Where is Chuck nowadays? I know he is married. Does he have any kids yet?

Whatever happened to nickrit?

That guy was awesome

August said...

For Ted and his ilk, ignorance is virtue.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Hugh - Chuck writes for the Daily Caller. As far as nikcrit, I had given him plenty of warnings here and in private. He finally pushed too far. I did recommend to him several times to get his own blog to share his thoughts.

August - Ted's a troll. His wording and subject matter just tipped me off to the diversity is good troll at GLP.

PA said...

It would not be surprising if Ted were a non-human algorithm. Looking at its comment, the software may have:
- picked up a controversial key word in the original post ("Confederate flag")
- issued a stock statement related to that word
- issued two unrelated anti-White boilerplate items.

Anonymous said...

and even you Indiana.

I see what you did there. Thumbs up.

peterike said...

I heartily endorse this plan! I might actually have a country again if this happened.

But you know, the Progs don't want to get rid of the knuckle-dragging rednecks. They want to bury them. They want to kill them. Oh well.

On this whole flag issue, I can only sit back in awe at how magnificently the Prog Left orchestrates The Latest Hate. Oh sure, they've been grumbling at the Confederate Flag for years, but from the moment that shooting happened it's like the entirety of the Prog media -- from the NY Times down to every 14 year old SJW with a Twitter account -- was onboard with the program. The flag must go! It is the greatest evil in the world! Corporations are even falling over themselves to stop selling Confederate flag merch.

I mean think about it! It was seamless, effortless, magical! It's a coordinated (by osmosis mostly) campaign and it will work. They will get rid of the Confederate flag. Soon you will see laws passed making it illegal to display it (just you wait). It will be a total victory, and in the blink of an eye.

Victories like this don't sate them; it whets their appetite for more. Whatever next? It's an endless back and forth between banning what was once normal and normalizing what was once perverse. It's fascinating to watch, in a way. What a god damned machine they've become. Don't just dream it, do it! They can win any victory they set out to win.

Portlander said...

Glad to see you've sorted out the military assets. ;)

I do love the jujitsu of making Progs want to secede from all those mouth-breathin' racists in fly-over country... "Oh nooes, Brer SWPL, whatever you do, don't expel us from the USA."

soonertroll said...

Oklahoma or Indian Territory as it was named in the mid 19th century, formally joined the Confederate States of America.

soonertroll said...

Oklahoma did formally join the Confederate States. OK was still Indian Territory in 1861 and the Five Civilized Tribes were slave owners, most of whom through in their lot with the would be Southern slave Republic against the Union.

Camlost said...

As any good Yankee, I have much love for my black brothers and sisters, sorry, my black bruthas and sistahs. I would guarantee safe passage, and house these angelic refugees in the progressive states of Massachusetts, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Vermont.

Ah, but the North is set up so intelligently. All of the added blacks would just get crammed into a few very highly dense neighborhoods in these states, and most Northeastern whites would blissfully continue having little interaction with blacks outside of having to share square footage on the subway. Except for the very bottom 1% of working class whites, most Northern and Midwestern liberal whites just don't know what it's like to attend schools that are 40-70% minority or live in a place where blacks are spread everywhere in your metro area, but they will in the coming decades as the brown tide keeps growing.

I took my first trip to Chicago recently and saw ZERO blacks in Downtown and beyond once I reached the Loop. I took the Red and Blue Lines and saw nothing but miles and miles of dense city overwhelmingly populated by whites, with a tiny smattering of blacks and Hispanics. As an lifelong Southerner, that was an eye opener for me. I went to see a game at Wrigley and I can tell you that the stadium and its environs was whiter than even the crowd at a Nascar race down South.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Camlost - Chicago has clened out downtown but the real story is the mssive wave of Hispanics tht live in the city. Hispanics have a plurality in the schools.

Id stick the blacks in New England because those states are dying. Amazing how old they are and how low the fertility rates are there

A.B. Prosper said...

"Only please, Brer Fox, please don't throw me into the briar patch."

tonsplace said...

Southron White man's dream come true. The union with yankees has been a curse