Sunday, April 26, 2015

When Adelson Buys Me Maxim

In the spirit of writing on the media, I had been kicking around how I would reconfigure MAXIM if I ever purchased it. Why not bring two people together, myself and Sheldon Adelson. Look Sheldon, Shelly, this funding campaigns on the right is not helping you since the real voting is done in the press. You front the cash, and it would be very little cash, and give me full editorial control of MAXIM and other young male media properties, and I'll help in the "single male" voting demo since your GOP guys do poorly with unmarried voters. If I push enough unmarried men one way voting or encourage them not to, they'll drag along their baby mammas or at least the single women they sleep with to do the same. Shelly, I won't bring up Israel and uhhh, the weird relationship i has with America, and you don't stop me from mentioning anything else.

MAXIM sold for roughly $20 mil a short while back, so when circulation declines further, I'll scarf it up even cheaper, but what if I had the Newsweek $1 deal for MAXIM. How would I reorg MAXIM to be subversive and be a men's magazine? There are ten issues a year, a heavy military readership, and a website to supply with content, so let me have some fun with this. With or without Adelson's green, 28 Sherman Inc takes out debt heroin debt sugar friendly financing to run Maxim with no intent on turning a profit, but we can bust the MAXIM name out for our gain and mock the world around us. How many moves do we make and how do we reorg it?

1. Fire everyone writing for them whether full time or contract.

2. Reach out to readers for participation like a giant fishing net for dysfunctional content. Set up the website so that monthly content is showcased but each day of the week has a specific new content comedic skewering of the way we live now:

Single Mom Mondays - A post, including pics of any single mom arrested or acting a fool wherever she can be found. This goes for "reality" television, celebrities, Dr. Phil, Steve Wilkos, Facebook Insanity. If you find her, send her in for us and we will mock her.
Twitter/Tumblr Attention Whore Tuesdays - Send us the twitter feeds of the biggest attention whores you know. Men, women, it does not matter. Their Instagram accounts would help so we can mock their food pictures.
Wall Wednesdays - As it sounds, photos of women who have hit the wall. Celebrities, models, regular women. It does not matter. The closer the before after so we can pinpoint the wall contact, the better. If some starlet who was hot 8-10 years ago has hit the wall and has not made films in years, tell us. We want the impact documented. I've seen examples of this on Twitter. See below. Christ.
Thirsty Thursdays - A drink review, a bar review or a obscure alcohol type review.
Touchy Teacher Thursdays - Spotlight one teacher who molested a male student and the lack of jail time or odd behavior by the school.
Fantastic Fridays - Reader submitted, but edited, review of their last weekend and why it was the best weekend experience in the nation as inspiration for the coming weekend. Winner gets the party pack from whatever terrible alcohol we have an advertising buy from for the online ads.
Facebook Cat Lady Fridays - Send me the profiles of Facebook cat ladies.
Fattie Fridays - Photos of fatties who think they're hot. The Internet is full of these women.
Sexy Saturday - Anything involving the realm of sex. 
What if people catch on and the well runs dry of people being idiots online? Good. If women think before attention whoring online, we changed wider society. The magazine does not need to succeed. We just want to nudge conversations in a different direction.

3. That is nice and all but what of content? I fired the writers, so I need people to write about stuff for guys and not as geldings who surf the web for cat pictures.

Money - A writer like the Captain, as well as others, to help men navigate the world of money. Might also be good to discuss the going or not going college debate. In the back to school issue in the late summer or early fall, have a roundtable on the merits of college. Bring up the different paths to a BA to minimize cost. Who knows how many high school guys we might save from applying to college a couple of months later?

Travel - Country reviews. Guy like Roosh to give the ins and outs of a nation for a fun male trip. Maybe steady non-e-book income would allow him to not be so touchy with the forum banning and block list. The issue prior to Brazil's Carnivale can have a roundtable of men who have been multiple times and give insight beyond "it's crazy and full of hot bitches". Not just fun. I also want horror stories. I want SWPL trips to the Congo gone wrong (hypothetical)."I was buying liquor in the cutest, undiscovered by travel agents Honduran town between rain forest hikes when the federales left upset they didn't get their weekly bribe. Next thing I know I was bleeding through my Outkast '98 College Tour Tee, holding a shattered bottle of tequila as masked men machine gunned the store. The alcohol in my system slowed my pulse down enough for me to not bleed out," Stefan Dobber, Vassar '08. Ten issues a year for ten reports on nations.

Health - Lifting and diet. Let Mangan run with his non-PC medical approach to fitness. Open minded approach of different things. Maybe a juicebro or two? One rule: no abs specials. I will take a Singapore cane to your abs if you suggest an abs special. This is not a gay men's magazine.

Game/Sex - A sharpened sword like Heartiste (he could find a new male pseudonym from "The Story of O" to write under) with several thousand words at play for a huge audience may save a man from divorce theft. Make a mockery of relationship therapy Q&A columns by having a dark Q&A column. We can make up the questions just like Dear Prudie does. Follow up a column with a science blurb or graphic that offers help or refutes standard dating advice found elsewhere.

Marriage - Between the writers in the realm of Dalrock or Hawaiian Libertarian as well as divorced guys, an "ins and outs of marriage" column could be appreciated by the readers. Readers are single guys, but if they have an eye on marriage an article on "profile of a good wife" or "what to look for" in a roundtable setting would be appealing. Could we have a "You found her but how to talk her into a family but without getting officially married" special article?

Divorce/Family Court - Discuss the law. Discuss wrapping it up. Pre-nups that somehow don't stick. Discuss the 2nd set of books that say things are fair but the judges are instructed to preserve the mother-child bond if at all possible. Horror stories. Not just celebrities, which would be marvelous to report on, but regular joes. The Johnny Carson divorce alone would be a great report. Michael Strahan's divorce is another where she left and got 90%, plus insinuated gay accusations without any proof. We live in a media world that tries to portray "trapping" people with kids as men forcing women to have children when we all know a friend who has been trapped by a woman.

Which leads to politics...

Politics/Society - Dripping liquified redpillery into the tonic of reporting. Be outside the fake two sided political spectrum by pointing out, for example, the left's naked power grabs with gimmedats but also the right's white knighting and fairy tale view of women. Push the single guys rightward or push them out of voting entirely in a system that is legally stacked against them. Write an article just on the messaging for young girls vs. young boys. Hype headlines like "Public Schools Are Child Abuse for Boys". Your audience is men who just left that system and may have been doped up to keep them "compliant". Think a guy like Chuck Ross with an extended deadline could cook up a great story like the "The Kangaroo Courts of Campus Rape". Matt Forney reporting with a faux undercover gimmick on the latest insane trend in the SJW or SWPL set.

This is all a pipe dream, and advertisers would run and hide. Could receptive minds take a fresh look at the world if the articles in between the photoshopped pictorials were razor sharp and red pilled? Possibly. A man can dream. As time marches on and advertising revenue dwindles, I'll only need about $2 million to purchase the entity in a few years. There has to be enough start up scratch for that. One deal generation team at a private equity firm could pitch this to some gullible college endowment. Come on Sheldon, don't let someone else beat you to this new venture. If you kick in some extra coin, we can set up a few women I know to run Redbook and Cosmo.

*Some people do links or recommendations posts. I try to be creative about it.


Anonymous said...

My dream is to kill Adelson and all the jewish oligarchs.

Corn said...

It's really funny you bring up Maxim. Have you been reading it lately? I read it because a cousin thought it would be nice to give me a gift subscription. The chief editor is now a woman, and it seems more articles are now being written by women (as opposed to the one female point of view sex column). Maybe it is just me but it seems there are less bikini babes the last few issues and more articles on male fashion. The magazine was never high class but it was just pretentious fun. Now more and more it's just pretentious crap.

Corn said...

Sorry, that should read "unpretentious fun".