Thursday, April 16, 2015

How the Hell Would They Remake Scarface

On Twitter, I was discussing the ridiculousness of remakes and sequels. We now have Star Wars, Mad Max, Jurassic Park, Blade Runner and even Scarface in the works. Just Nuke Hollywood. Not for the filth and propaganda but for lack of creativity in doing so. The Scarface idea blows my mind because Scarface itself was a remake of an old gangster film but set in the Miami 'Cocaine Cowboys' era. Oliver Stone being a coke guy helped when he wrote the script, but Miami itself is a star. If they remake it, do they do it retro? If they do that, it will be in the shadow of the original and fail. There is no specific location tied to our current problem drugs. Portland, Oregon for heroin? A flyover country town for meth? Meth peaked years ago. Here's a pitch.

Asian-American student grows up on the west coast. Not stereotypical math genius Chinese kid. Regular American kid listening to '80s/'90s music. Ends up in armed forces. Finds it weird how the US runs security on poppy fields in Afghanistan. Comes back after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and goes to mandatory counseling BS courses. Thinks it is a joke. While in those sessions, finds out buddies have been popping oxys like candy and some go to narcotics anonymous. Finds out more have been dipping into heroin. He won't do drugs, good Asian kid, family pressure to make some cash and strive.

What does he do? Works way into heroin distribution network. Calls the shit they are getting terrible quality, screwing up customers. He has that striver in him. Uses fact he can speak Chinese to work as the import-export expert for the heroin infrastructure. Surfer buddy acts as Anglo face. Start importing heroin from Chinese through Western ports. Sets up base in Portland for more central location on West coast. Need montage of skrillex sounding shit over shots of importing with legit looking business up front. Has harem of heroin junkies. Tatted up white girls, vegans, some tiny Asians, he's swimming in it. Starts using. Gets relationship with hot blonde played by Amber Heard, but her womb is so polluted she cannot provide him with a hapa son. Sets up money laundering scheme for Chinese to buy property with their illicit gains. All goes well until heroin overdoses trigger the hippy Oregon governor to go after them if the feds won't do it. Chinese (do we make it the triads?) order a hit. Doesn't do it because "Greg Chen doesn't kill kids!!!" Starts using heroin heavily. Finds his sister is now waifu of Surfer buddy. Kills him. Eventually is hunted down by Chinese using former American vets who now work private security.

*Will never happen. Asian lead required.

13 comments:

Alexandros HoMegas said...

How do you think this stuff?

Contaminated NEET said...

Fund it!

Camlost said...

A 2nd-generation Asian who gets into crime is probably Southeast Asian, like Hmong or Filipino.

Camlost said...

In a hilarious story about Atlanta's sizable and increasingly affluent Korean community, here's a 2nd-generation wannabe gangsta kid who got himself shot by usual suspects even though he took a gun to the meeting himself:

http://www.ajc.com/news/news/cops-uga-student-21-shot-and-killed-during-drug-de/njnj3/

$50 bucks says he was a huge rap fan.

PA said...

Finds it weird how the US runs security on poppy fields in Afghanistan.

I see you're shyly inching toward facing the fact that 911 was an inside job.

(Weird, isn't it, how that phrase was nearly ubiquitous just up until Obama's swearing-in, and then you never saw it again.)

bruce said...

The Saint should have been made with an Asian or Eurasian Saint. Leslie Charteris was Eurasian; it's his fantasy. Every slicky-boy east of Suez wants to grow up to be effortlessly smooth, at ease with great wealth, handsome, athletic, casually dangerous, a little sinister.

neovictorian23 said...

"Let me introduce you to my little friend!" Wouldn't even need to change weapons; AR-15/M-16 was Da Kind then, still the cat's meow all these years later!

Portlander said...

O/T: Saw this at Sailer's

"I read the comparison here before, but the highbrow antiwhite zeitgeist percolating through elite cultures now has a similar tone as the anti-Semitism in 1890s Germany.

The comparison is not perfect of course, but the white privilege conferences, books of poetry, and of course the lowbrow click bait have a similar feel and tone as Cosima Wagner’s salon. The talk then was of a “Jewish spirit”; now it’s whites supposed unconscious microaggressions which make them loathsome; it is the building of a case against a people."


SoBL, as you're both a bit of Weirmar historian and previously a highlighted Steve S commenter... yours?

If so, there's one big and fundamental difference between Jews & Germans then and White Males & Coalition of the Fringe now: Germans sans Jews were/are entirely capable of running a modern industrial economy and war machine. The Left's Coalition of the Fringe and Social Media Justice Warriors... not so much.

I'll allow that some segment of the Fringe could pull off a Rwandian spasm of chaos, but ain't no way they'd be remotely as successful with it on the average American white male. But assuming they attempted such anyway, then what? Sure, EBT can get you free sh*t at the grocery store, but it sure as h*ll don't put it there.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Portlander - That was NOT me at Isteve. The coalition of the fringes would fail so hard that the Chinese would wait for them to collapse and then turn the US into a gigantic natural resource center. The continental US is blessed with the most amazing mix of natural resources. The land is just too valuable to let go to waste.

Robert said...

Not only does it require an Asian lead, it requires the audience to believe in an Asian who struts like a Latin and, after building up his empire, kills his friend and partner because muh madonna/whore dichotomy.

The industry would do better to remake Un Prophet. Which is much more contemporary and powerful immigrant struggle.

Steve Sailer said...

Actually, Oliver Stone co-wrote an Asian "Scarface" movie with Michael Cimino directing, 1985's "Year of the Dragon." Mickey Rourke starred as the detective and John Lone was the bad guy. I thought it was pretty good but nobody else did, so it's pretty forgotten.

Steve Sailer said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_of_the_Dragon_%28film%29

RickDerris said...

I'd suggest giving the "Mad Max" movie a chance to prove itself. It's being produced and directed by George Miller, the man who made the three movies from the late 70s and 1980s.