Thursday, March 26, 2015

Don't Put The Dogsitter on a Pedestal

I have a friend who calls once a week. He was a good college friend who has become a great friend despite living far apart. Football season is text season, where our texting is like a 140 character limit color commentary for games. Other than that our phone calls revolve around sports, history, books, geopolitics and women. Last month, he brought up those annoying but wonderfully buxom Snorg Tees models on the web. His favorite was the brunette that will need a breast reduction in a few years when her back starts to give. We laughed about the idea of getting into modeling and the work you get is “use your jugs to sell snarky, nerd shirts”. As he put it, “Whatever happens to these women?”

Mark's Favorite
They get pedastalized by the thirsty men of the Internet out there. It’s like being famous to 15 minutes worth of people. These guys are not pathetic like Tumblr guys who buy things off the Amazon wish lists of Tumblr girls that post nudes. They are your regular guy who digs a model and maybe gets weird about it. Guys, men, please, remember they look great in front of the camera, and yes, there are plenty of women out there that look like them, but they might just be a dog sitter, or a housesitter, or a babysitter. Yes, that house sitter was the redhead Snorg Tees girl. Redhead sexiness is inversely correlated to the number of freckles they have. If you don't recall her quirky ad pics on Zero Hedge, these may jolt your memory.

Key to sexy gingers is no freckles

So quirky and nerdy, look at that nerd shirt!

Weird. I have not seen her anywhere else since. Must just be house sitting in the Miami area. With how pale she is, she must use SPF 100 to not burst into flames.

Pretty girl when not wearing nerd shirts

Don't care if they're real, they look spectacular

This is my blog, of course I'd have all angles covered.

Have a great weekend.

20 comments:

PA said...

My fave: #2, blue shirt and jeans.

peterike said...

So I went to that housekeepers site expecting to find a lot of fat, ugly Hispanic women. But boy, I was surprised by how many cute young girls are making a few extra dollars cleaning houses and walk....

HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

WowJustWow said...

Keep in mind that she can't make herself look *too* sexy in the housekeeper profile. If your wife says "NOPE!" before even agreeing to meet her in person, it's game over.

A said...

Kari from Mythbusters, anyone?

Kevin Michael Grace said...

For years I've uttered an Alan Partridge-like sigh (see 0:52 here) whenever the Snorg Tees redhead insinuated herself on my desktop. Now you've spoiled that by proving that her breasts are fake. (The two giveaways: the enormous gap between them and the obvious lack of the effects of gravity.)

But I'll always have the Wendy's redhead.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Kevin, I'm not certain about the implants but I did notice her being flatter in some pics. If she got them done, they are fantastic and most likely a smaller implant inserted under the muscle. The gap and her upper breast profile make me lean towards fake. Defying gravity happens for many 20-somethings.

nikcrit said...

I too like the freckled look with varying crimson shades of locks falling around that speckled visage.

But fear not: it's not caucasian freckles I idealize; rather, puerto Rican/Latins with this detail is what does it for me.

This example isn't an absolute ideal physically, but close enough she be...


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=11127175

Camlost said...

This is my favorite snorg tees girl:

http://s3.amazonaws.com/img.perthstreetbikes/img/4/5/6/withashirtlikethis-snorgtees.jpg

@ Nik - you know you brothers will do anything white, from 100 to 400 pounds. (whenever you're not bragging about your big muscles on blogs)

nikcrit said...

@ Nik - you know you brothers will do anything white, from 100 to 400 pounds. (whenever you're not bragging about your big muscles on blogs)

Sorry, you got the wrong negro again; in fact, since the late OneSTDV era when i took up the 'paleo-con diet' challenge, and went from the 230-lb range to a straight 200 or so, my, umm, female 'ceiling' weight-wise has dropped, from about 170 to 155 or so; so, yeah, this brah can still appreciate a bit of 'thickness'-----but my erotic baseline has dropped a bit, etc.
Btw, Cam: will you be celebrating tonight my alma mater's impending
Final Four advancement, led by that 21st-century Bird-McHale tandem of Frank Kaminsky nad Sam Dekker?

Bring on those Wildcats! UW-white power!!! lolzz!

vonbock said...

I think that Mark's girl used to do the old late night "Education Connection" TV commercials from 4 or 5 years ago...

Son of Brock Landers said...

Ha! The first model did get breast reduction surgery!!! http://thechive.com/2010/12/22/ashley-pridgen-snorg-tees-model-is-having-breast-reduction-surgery-17-photos/

Camlost said...

Btw, Cam: will you be celebrating tonight my alma mater's impending
Final Four advancement, led by that 21st-century Bird-McHale tandem of Frank Kaminsky nad Sam Dekker?


Yeah, I like Wisconsin in this game against Arizona. They'll need someone else becides Dekker and Kaminsky to score in he 15+ points range tonight, though.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Nikcrit, I weigh 190, am fit and wouldnt touch a woman over 140 unless it was Christina Hendricks.

PA said...

Don't remember if I shared the news of a new Father John Misty album with the hipster music connoisseurs here, so here you go. The title track "I Love You Honeybear"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ydc91P-HrtY

The lyrics call out the global financial crash, and the song is about geopolitics on one leve, and about the sadness of knowing that romantic love is fleeting on another level.

FJM is, from his annoying mug and his annoying behavior elsewhere likely a Gamma, per Vox Day's hierarchy. A passive-aggressive prick. That's why I am picking up on, in any case.

But talent is talent. Great voice, great melodies in that song that take me to a childhood state of religious wonderment with the honest, soaring emotions in the vocals.

nikcrit said...

wouldnt touch a woman over 140 unless it was Christina Hendricks.


so, you're saying you couldn't fall in love with someone who weighed >141 unless she was a redheaded siren on a popular retro soap opera?

Seriously, there are tons of sexy females who weigh 150+; i think that's way too low an absoulte cut-off. Would you not consider height? 5'10" at 150 is a lot different than 5'2" at 150..... i once had a girlfriend who was 5'10 and one-half inch who occasionally dipped below one-hundred pounds but usually averaged between 110-115lbs.

@Cam: Gone with the Red Wildcats, now bring on the blue ones! (Notre Dame played valiantly and got ripped off by some fukin' absolutely outrageous calls; the NCAA fix is in for KY, but Notre Dame illuminated ky's fault lines, hence, their season ends Friday)

























Son of Brock Landers said...

Exceptions happen nikcrit, but they are extreme rarities. Height matters but number of women over 5'8" incredibly small. Im 6'1", tallest I dated was 5'10" and she was probably over 140 but had large breasts. I am white so I was always thinking long term for women and a girl already thicker would more likely be fat by 30.

Camlost said...


Seriously, there are tons of sexy females who weigh 150+; i think that's way too low an absoulte cut-off. Would you not consider height? 5'10" at 150 is a lot different than 5'2" at 150..... i once had a girlfriend who was 5'10 and one-half inch who occasionally dipped below one-hundred pounds but usually averaged between 110-115lbs.


LOL, c'mon Nik. We know y'all like 'em with some serious meat on their bones.

Notre Dame

No way, that officiating was just fine. On that final play maybe Notre Dame should have doubled the ball handler using Cauley-Stein's man since he can't shoot worth a crap. It would have led to a better result that getting beat on the dribble and giving up free throws with 6 seconds.



Camlost said...

BTW, Nik my Alma Mater lost in the sweet 16, also.

I'm sure you can figure out who that is based on our many past conversations.

Nikcrit said...

On that final play maybe Notre Dame should have doubled the ball handler using Cauley-Stein's man since he can't shoot worth a crap.

Yeah, agreed. But my point was that KY was getting some serious mercy calls for nearly the last seven minutes of the gain; bunch of bogus blocking calls, one a flagrant charge.

It don't matter; i'm sorta glad, cuz I want KY next weekend for avengement purposes (last year's one-point loss). As far as I'm concerned, if UW beats KY, I'd care less about winning it all.

Though being NCAA national champions would somewhat atone for the karmic debacle that was the GB-vs.-Seattle NFC Championship Game. That was rough.

nikcrit said...

@Cam: Gone with the Red Wildcats, now bring on the blue ones!

Moving along, now it's 'Gone with the blue Wildcats and on to the Blue Devils.....Today is the first day of 39-1!