Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Men's Second Aging

A couple of Internet and real life conversations came together, and then a well timed photo from old Roosh provided a side by side example of morphing from cave man to attractive male human. Men, if you are under 25 and think you're getting no uglier or more handsome than today, you're lying to yourself. Prepare for the second aging. It is coming. First some conditions.

1. You cannot be fat. If you're fat, this throws everything off because of the way fat people flesh out their faces and possibly throw off their facial dimensions.
2. If you're black, enjoy black don't crack. You guys seems to age at 13, then don't age (provided you stay in shape) until about 50, but then it all catches up to you in one year. Then you die at 63.
3. If you're Asian, enjoy looking young for 60 years, then aging all at once so that your skin looks like very thin paper. You can enjoy that for 30 years and then die somewhere around 95 but no one knows for sure because you've looked "ancient" for so long.

This basically applies to whites who stay in shape, but here it is. You hit puberty and age, but you're not done. You grow taller, eventually fill out after growing taller, and then in the late 20s it happens. Your face changes. Basically, your baby fat leaves your face and your facial features "sharpen" or "harden".

It does not always work though and yes, this applies to white women, too. For fails, I will bring up Prince William. Grerp and I were discussing him online, when I mentioned the 2nd aging fail. Let's look at him at 18 and today.

I could've picked any picture from his teenage years and into his early 20s. That was the most eligible bachelor in the world. Wealthy, would be king, English accent and he looked like a Hollywood star. How did he look during his recent swing through America?

Kind of a drop off. My wife almost did not recognize him at the Royal Wedding. You know who else had a horrible "2nd aging" and it ruined his Hollywood career? Mark Hamill. He also suffered a car accident that messed with his face, but here's his progression.

This is late 1976 during filming of Star Wars. He was in his mid-20s, and a pretty handsome guy who had he stayed that way, would have had all of the 1980s, action/sci-fi Michael Biehn roles. Here he is in 1978 for Corvette Summer; a terrible movie with Annie Potts. My wife saw a pic of him and didn't recognize him as Luke Skywalker.

Things could have worked for him, but then something happened.

That looks like a different person. It was 1983, so he was over 30 now. He had hit his second aging.

This happens to every in-shape white guy. Look at pictures of you and your friends. Hopefully, you have enough who kept the weight off. If you doubt it with some Hollywood actors who are always in the limelight and have been around for decades, look at their ages again. Deniro, Pacino and Harrison Ford all hit the big movies after they were 30. They had already hit that 2nd aging. Even the young Harrison Ford in American Graffiti was still 31. Be careful of mocking those girls who hit the wall, because while not as dramatic, you may lose the coin flip of the 2nd aging.


Anonymous said...

its good that you provided an example without the hair loss so people wouldn't solely blame that.

Chris said...

hair is a big part of it. if there's ever any doubt - shave it off. i lost my combover in 2010 and never looked back.

white guys don't have it as good as a black guys w/ the colored dome, but it eliminates the grays and women see a guy who can make a decision.

Rifleman said...

Be careful of mocking those girls who hit the wall, because while not as dramatic, you may lose the coin flip of the 2nd aging.

Guys mocking women usually looked like hell from childhood on.

They were ugly and or fat throughout their lives so they "male bond" by bashing women esp fat ones.

Good looking guys or high status guys don't usually go for harping on women's problems.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Rifleman, Great point, most harping can be traced back to not getting BJs in high school.

PA said...

In strict sense Rifleman may be right. But there is a time and place to depersonalize things and accept that men talk about things such as the world we live in and the world we'll pass to our posterity.

And in that regard, talking about female 'wall' or obesity is something we do regardless of how we did with girls in high school, because aggregate sexual market metrics are of interest to us.

I am taking the time to say this because Rifleman's customary drive-by snark shuts down, rather than fuels conversation, defeating the purpose of a blog comment function.

For fuck's sake, men used to have "no women allowed" clubs for the sole purpose of talking about what they want without some bitch frivolously personalizing things.

Son of Brock Landers said...

The wall is real PA. My wife and I are having fun seeing what friend just hit it. We're mid-30s so it's an ongoing thing.

Pvt. Jaybird said...

Very interesting and something I never really thought about.

Personally, I had mirror facial features to my pop growing up. These were so identical that people often mistook his high school football photo for me, despite having different hair color (him black, me reddish blonde) and it obviously being taken in the 1970s.

I grew a beard in my late twenties which I kept consistently for roughly four years ago till I shaved it off in 2013. I didn't even recognize myself and any resemblance to my pop has disappeared. I now resemble my maternal grandfather's side of the family who all had a very distinctive nose and, as Patrice O'Neal once told my brother, "those creepy Boris Karloff eyes".

I wonder if it's common for one parent's traits to dominate in the first stage of life and the second parent's to take over after the second aging. Prince William resembled his mother in his younger days and now resembles his father.

Camlost said...

Funny that you mention Mark Hamill. I recently went to see "Kingsman" with several friends, and he plays a very ancient looking professor in the movie and no one in my group recognized him but me:


By the time Star Wars 7 comes out he's going to be as wrinkly and old looking as Emperor Palpatine.

Anonymous said...

Another example of second aging is Marco Hofschneider. Compare him in Europa, Europa and him at ~30. Totally different guy.

vivenkeful said...

The case of Mark Hamill is different... He had a car accident in 1977, he broke his nose, and a cheek bone. So he had some operation, that is why he looks completely different. Nose grows with age, but it won't become visually wider, shorter and flatter. He busted his nose in.
Also the left cheek bone (i think) that is why his face looks so flat, because obviously they needed to make both cheek bones similar ...

plus, yes he aged.

But the most changes aren't because of that.

And I feel sorry for him, because I am 100% sure that if he didn't have the accident, but remained with his photogenic face, he most probably would have had several roles after Star Wars... well, at least we still had him as Joker's voice :)