Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Progressives are Red Sox Fans

In the midst of our stagnation or "waiting" phase, it has been a year of progressive tears. Bitcoins to anyone who puts together a slow motion black and white recap of angry and crying liberals set to Kelly Clarkson's version of "Grown Up Christmas List". These minor setbacks are catnip for them. They can pretend that they are the underdogs as they control academia, the media and the bureaucracy that set the parameters and rules for modern society. It's a bit hard describing this to others. Besides frustrating, it is incredibly annoying. Here's the connection. Progressives and Red Sox fans.

The Boston Red Sox are one of the most storied professional sports teams in America. Their brand recognition is huge. They print money for their owners. They have a history of winning, ahem, winning everything but the World Series for a roughly 85 year drought famously labeled the "Curse of the Bambino". They had many great players, and players that other fan bases would have killed to watch play played decades with them. They have one of the best places to see a game, Fenway Park, that has remodeled seats so taller fans do not feel cramped since the original seats were made for short Irish fans. They were consistently contenders who usually lost out to the Yankees. They never were quite lovable losers like the Chicago Cubs. One big reason for it is their obnoxious, insufferable fanbase.

Red Sox fans had legitimate gripes. When a great-great uncle of mine died in 2002, he was the last living relative I had who had seen a Red Sox World Series win, and believe me, people would read obituaries that said "lifelong Red Sox fan" and looked at the birth year. Bill Simmons' "Now I Can Die in Peace" title to his first sports book captures that phenomenon. The problem is, the team was successful but the fans never wanted to let it on that they were successful and had grown in the modern era to be just as powerful as the Yankees. The t-shirts they sell outside the stadium with foul language for any Yankee are beyond crass. The fans also gave you sob stories of exactly where they were when horrific losses happened. They reveled in retelling the stories. They would describe their reactions as if they had seen their dog die. Here's a few I have heard over a beer.

"When Billy Buck let dat ball go tru his legs, my fahkin' uncle poured out his beer on the floor and cried. Life-long Sawx fan, died without a title." (disregard that there was a game 7 after the Buckner Game)
"When Aaron Boone hit dat homah, I just fahkin' walked out the bah and didn't even pay my tab. I fahkin' cried the whole drive home." (man over the age of 40)
"When Aaron Boone hit that home run, I called my gramma up to cheer her up and say there was always next year and she said, 'SoBL, I ain't got too many more fahkin' ye-ahs'." (my gramma occasionally cursed)
"Fahkin' Yankees spend hundreds of millions... fahkin' douchebags." (forgets the Red Sox payroll is 90% of the Yankees' payroll
"I know we just won the World Series, but fahk, this fahkin' team has no ha-aht (heart)." (said while wearing a World Series champs shirt of the year before)

I could go on, but these stories are woven into my life as a native of New England. Not being a Red Sox fan, I would always think, "Fahk you, my team is a cellah-dwellah that doesn't spend shit, and I gotta he-ah yah bitchin'." These fools play the victim, but love it. They are masochists and enjoy the pain and sharing the misery. Their fandom is marked by where they were for bad events. A defining moment for their fandom and possibly life is where they were when the Sox won the Series in 2004. Hell, the television show LOST used it as a way to mess with lead character Jack. Fans try to top one another because to them, the most painful suffering makes them the biggest fan. This is all while supporting a team with a payroll that is in the top 10 in the league and three titles in 10 years.

It might be hard explaining to someone that Harry the Homo who got punched in the face and is on the nightly news crying about it is actually empowered, but think of Sawx fans. They forever bitch, yet are a dominant team. They are located in Massachusetts. Their supporters are insufferable bastards. They make a ton of money with billionaire owners that are financially connected and media connected (John Henry recently bought the Boston Globe). They are partially owned by the New York Times (odd but true). Remember Sailer's megaphonics. It is hard to consider a black kid whose assault, neglect or murder is turned into a national media event with presidential support, media support and academics sending students to protest a member of the losing team that has no power. The rebel activist who claims to be an outsider is not an outsider if the press shows pics of them protesting smiling while framing the protest as just and a few months before USG approves their federal grants for whatever silly study or academic endeavor they attempt.

They will cry, but we can destroy the lie. They will deny being the one in power, and others will not grasp it. Think of the Sawx! Just like Red Sox fans bemoaning a bad year one year removed from a World Series win, progressives will whine over 2014 being a year the evil, white patriarchy laughed and smashed their precious little faces, holding back progress.

4 comments:

peterike said...

Progressives revel in victimhood. The more victimy you are, the more you get praised. The fact that your "victimhood" is brought on yourself (blacks), entirely imaginary (gays, women) or just plain ludicrous (Red Sox) has nothing to do with it.

The fact that you're a TRUE victim (white working and middle class) of multiple societal forces gets you nothing but a slap in the face ("white privilege!!"). White people need to find a way to become victims in the eyes of Progs. But since Progs largely define "victim" as "not the white working or middle class" or "not white men" makes is more challenging.

Really, how the Sox fit into the pantheon is beyond me. Though in New York, Progs are more likely to be Mets fans and there's a whole lot of victimhood right there. And since Yankees fans are also Knicks fans, they can bemoan the grim reality of the Knicks for their little bit of victim-o-philia.

Anonymous said...

Fact is the progs (as you call them) despite being anti-white working class also commandeer symbols of the white working class to gain authenticity.

We see it here with the South Sydney rugby league team. This was historically a very strong team based in an inner city suburb (Redfern) which was a slum in the 30s and heavily populated by aborigines in more recent times (ie violent slum). They have no success for 40 years. They are strong on working class nostalgia (team nickname is the Rabbitohs - which is a slang name for a guy who catches and sells rabbits for eating - big in the Depression - an era which is the height of white working class Australian nostalgia).

Then they get taken over by Russell Crowe and his money mates about 10 years ago , money comes in, and every prick in the world jumps on this bandwagon. Even Tom fucking Cruise went to a few games. From Wiki -

Members included Andrew Denton, Anthony Albanese, Deirdre Grusovin, Mike Whitney, Laurie Brereton, Mikey Robins, Ron Hoenig, Nick Greiner, Ray Martin and former NSW Premier Kristina Keneally.

You wouldn't know any of these people (lot of Labor Party politicians in there) so you'll have to take my word for it - cunts to a tee (maybe Mike Whitney gets a pass).

They make the grandfinal last year and the prog bandwagon jumpers have tears in their eyes - "I just want to see them win one grand final before I die". Lots of faux working class pride - 'the people's team'. Of course by now the abos have all been cleared out of Redfern and a little studio apartment costs a million bucks.

You could say the progs just want to commandeer white working class icons to cover their own sense of inadequacy at betraying their own roots and past.

But I think its much simpler than that.

They just want it fucking all.

They want to be poor and hip and cool and rich and working class and global cosmopolitan. They want to be safely middle class and rebelliously ghetto. They want to follow the team that has lost for forty years and the team that wins every game. They want to wear ripped jeans with a Rolex. They want to have a gangsta tatoo under a thousand dollar suit that they wear to their safe office job. They want to live in a safe slum, with lots of people who think just like them but with different coloured faces.

They want a whore in bed, a great cook in the kitchen and a nice girl to meet mum. But the thing is a whore is a whore and a yup is a yup and no-one is fooled by their bullshit posturing.

And Souths did win the grand final last year and that's OK because I had money on them.

PODSNAP

The Hulk said...

God! I had na instant four decade flashback! They all sound like John from Southie. The last time I saw him was in the early 70s. His mom drove a Southie school bus. I always wonder what happened to him (and her!).

nikcrit said...

Though in New York, Progs are more likely to be Mets fans and there's a whole lot of victimhood right there.

LMFAO! Oh wow, christmas came a few hours early this year; thanks, peterike!

Happy holidays to all 'yous and yours!'