Thursday, September 11, 2014

Why I Stayed

Social Media can lead to digital maoism. It is the eprfect vehicle for modern democracy as it is purely about the retweet count, an account's reach and spread of memes. It can be scammed as well with countless fake accounts. It is a tool for the narcissists and for modern day half-hearted care. Hashtag activism does not change anything but can become a talking point for the media to push something they like as trend. Earlier this week, the hashtag #WhyIStayed was a top trend all day in response to the Ray + Janay Rice elevator punch video release. While seemingly supporting a feminist narrative, battered women, it revealed the darkness to modern women's nature.

#WhyIStayed had countless 140 character tweets of women rationalizing away why they slept with, dated and had kids with scum bags. Are the tweets real? It's the Internet, this could be fake in an effort to receive sympathy. The tweets become performance art of the modern victim. Look at me I am a victim, feel bad for me, I am righteous. There is also the rationalization wing of the tweet crowd. "Yes his name is tattooed on my arm but he beat me". Lot of single mommas on Twitter tweeting about the awful, no good horrible men that they just stuck with. Mrs. Janay Rice married Ray because he had a lot of green that she wanted a piece of. That is why she stayed. I won't touch the overinflated sense of strength and ego courage a slender woman has to charge a 200 lb NFL player in a small elevator, running straight into a left hook. That is between them to work out, and probably settle with cash in a few years (probably after one more kid). What is amazing is how these women stay with these guys in an age of no fault divorce, ample female selection and widespread encouragement from the media to go girl and be a strong independent woman. Wasn't that the lesson everyone trumpeted when Rihanna first left Chris Brown after he hit her, and then forgot when she went back to him?

There is another darker thing. There was an accompanying hashtag, #WhyILeft. It did not trend in the top ten on Twitter that day. Guess those stories were not good enough to share or numerous enough to trend. Maybe the last straw was too dark to share on Twitter or too bad to generate the proper feeling of sympathy from the faceless Twitter maw. It also reveals the fraudulent call for guys who treat a woman like a lady. Store #WhyILeft in your heart the next time a woman says she wants a great guy who treats her well. People will treat you how you let them treat you, and this culture promotes disposable relationships. These women willingly put up with this garbage because the guy has them believing they are the loser in the relationship. Both are, but she feels she is the loser who cannot find better. I cannot imagine the lonely men just hoping that cute gal working at New York and Co would reciprocate his feelings. He is probably struck too hard by her cute facial features to notice the make up covering her bruises.

This trend was not a feminist slam dunk but a mirror for the broken state of modern relationships. Little girls' toys can tell them they are awesome from day one, but it does not seem to work. Half of Beyonce's music is about being so awesomely independent and strong that it is shocking the repetitive messaging does not work (Mr. Huxley, you were wrong). Our media does not let women have agency, except when it's cool, empowering decision making, but we live in an age of blue light phones, domestic violence laws, no fault divorce, child support, women and children's shelters, and other safety nets for such an escape. How broken or damaged is someone to stay? This is the dating pool. Approach it with this hashtag in mind, men.


Portlander said...

Meh. The term everyone is dancing around, but unwilling to utter is golden handcuffs.

For women it's a few bruises, for men it's a soul-crushing job, for a nation's citizenry it's cheap credit and gimme-dats.

It's all good until the well runs dry, then it's righteous indignation and moralizing (rationalizing) BS: Grrrl Power, MGTOW, #Spring.

Jonny Vincent said...

"For women it's a few bruises, for men it's a soul-crushing job"

The difference is that there's a reward for women. The reasons keeping men are alive are lies and illusions.

"for a nation's citizenry it's cheap credit and gimme-dats"

Until your nation becomes the gimme-dat for another nation's entitlement to cheap credit, to the tune of $88 trillion or ~