Friday, August 15, 2014

The Ladder Theory

Why do people tolerate the awful things their lovers or spouses do? I am a firm believer in not forgiving cheating. People will do what you allow them to do and treat you how you let them treat you. Think of all the text game posts around the manosphere. A woman could choose to not respond to jerks but she still does. Same goes for guys who forgive cheating. Anyone ever ask why these guys do it? It is not simply beta, omega, loser, or dorkus. It comes down to self esteem and self evaluation. It comes down to how a man (or woman) views their position on the ladder.

The Ladder Theory is that in the dating market, we all stand on a ladder. The rungs are our partners or potential partners. We are reluctant to take steps down from our perceived current spot. We will always look to take steps up. Sometimes we reach for a higher rung well above our spot because of its lofty location. Sometimes people are holding onto a rung that they feel is as high as they will go and their feet are dangling. Note that this spot is usually where a guy will propose to lock a woman down. There is a ladder for both genders, and if you envision the ladder and say a drop in someone's sexual market value, a woman trying to get engaged and latch onto some man at 30 is like a desperate grab to hold onto their spot on the ladder.

When you read these horror stories of women (let me focus on the bad woman, forgiving man scenario) behaving badly and guys taking them back, look at the guy. He is probably reaching high above where he really places himself on the ladder. If not, he might be valuing himself really low. The message I send of never forgiving cheating is that woman is bound to do it again. Even if you think she is hot, there is always someone younger and who has not betrayed your trust you can leave her for. Always. The sands of time wear on everyone, but young men, the numbers game gets better for you. A potential strategy is take her back, and then use her being high on the ladder to get you a new, hotter girlfriend. Women love the taken, off limits guy, so use her as pre-selection and get out of there.

The Ladder Theory is an old one friends and I used to discuss and refine like the Wave Theory or the old Internet idea, the Deacon Effect. I bring it up after the wonderfully race baiting, dark post by Heartiste yesterday. Yes, horrible stories like that are wretched enough for unrestrained female behavior, but instead of just pointing and shouting "beta" at the guy, figure it out and how to stop others from making the same mistake. The beta in the photo was a normal looking 18 year old. He does not know yet that the relationship is doomed but that he'll recover and do better. Guys fifteen years older with Faceborg profiles can see the ones that thankfully got away. You can spin just about every break up with a crazy woman in your favor. Regular Joes and professional, millionaire athletes can make the same mistake (twice). Do not tolerate bad behavior. This is a lost cause but hopefully, it reaches one guy out there. The next one would be "don't tolerate fatties", but that one is hopeless too.

10 comments:

PA said...

The theory you are talking about may be from this classic internet page:

http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm

That, by the way, was my first introduction to the theory of Game. Circa 2002, I was a bachelor sharing an apartment with a male friend, and had just gone through two near-simultaneous experiences: (1) dumped a girl who was becoming my stalker; and (2) kept butting my head and bruising my ego with a girl I wanted but couldn't win over.

The friend/roommate showed me that "ladder" page, and it was a Eureka moment. Well. maybe not Eureka in the sense of full discovery, but rather a glimpse into a fascinating dark knowledge. I shortly thereafter (on a tip from a casual buddy) discovered Doc Love articles on AskMen, and devoted an entie weekend's night to devouring the archives.

What does deprogramming / reprogramming sound like? It sounds like firing neurons in my brain, with whole new landscapes of understanding opening up before me.

A few years later, 2007 to be precise, I was already married a few years already to a girl I wouldn't have ever gotten sans conscious Game and I discovered Roissy in DC.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Look up the Deacon Effect. The header is "I hit her because i love her". My dad passed on good knowledge and so did uncles. Game works. Thing is men need to realize their ladder position improves with time. Not enough do so there are fools who put up with fatties or sluts.

peterike said...

Down the ladder
Chicks get fatter.
Step up higher
Chicks be fly-er.

Ok, that was pretty terrible.


nikcrit said...

yeah,
peterike tearin' it up on 'spoken-word' open-stage night at the Apollo!

Ted said...

Idk...most white girls crave the Black Man sexual experience. The white boy in question is pathetic but the girl is just your normal teenager

Son of Brock Landers said...

Ted - All women crave the bad boy experience, few crave the passed around by 12 guys thing. Even 15 years ago at my high school, there was a teen pregnancy problem and plenty of girls sexually active but only 1 out of 500 girls who engaged in a 7 on 1 event.

Ted said...

When have girls NOT been sexually active?

Except for the unfortunate looking ones pretty every girl you're going to meet has had at least 40 partners by the time she is 20.

Same thing for guys. It's just part of the human experience. There never was a time chastity. It's just against human nature.

And gangbangs are more prevalent than you think. I've had several upper class white girls admit to me that they enjoy having a group of guys "run a train" on them.

Anonymous said...

Because they are big pussy whipped metrosexual nutless chumps who carry a manpurse and preen more than their life support system for a vagina cupid stunt girlfriends?
We love hate, we hate love.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Ted - In college I knew of a handful of girls who did 3-1 or more. My college years, the girl on girl thing was starting up. One told me she had a GF as a break from the hetero pressure to bang often.

nikcrit said...

PA,
interesting, it is ----- your ladder-site link.

I've been semi-retired from the game in recent years. but last year, i met someone and thought it was green-light get-go, only to get stymied in a way that was hard and reminiscent of 20-something romantic follies, which i wasn't expecting at all.

i got a bit humble and re-evaluated my situaition through game perspective; i also re-evaluated some of my 20-30's folly-volleys----- and saw in hindsight what now seem to be some crucial blunders back then.....

i wonder:do you think 'game' theory is relevant to 40-somethings? specifically those who played fairly hard in their prime and even went through a brief, childless marriage?
i mean, i miss a bit of the passion and absolutism of 'the game' ------ but i can't sincerely say i share the sheer intensity of hte highs and lows of the spoils in my single, 40-something perspective... i'm realizing the intensity of the quest was where most of the rewards truly were.


Still, it's a bit humbling, realizing in hindsight that a few heavy regrets of yesteryear were merely the result of myself foolishly falling into 'cuddle-bitch' mode, erroneously thinking that was emotional counterpoint to male-slut malaise and emotional leveling.....

Damn! WTF knew!! lolzz.