Have you heard of the open office concept? If thinking outside the box, syngergies, mindspace, brainstorming, exploring the space, trust falling and other business slang could be put into architectural form, it would be the open office. It is awful. It hurts productivity. What retarded manager bought into this pitch from the HR fatties or consulting firm? Has anyone ever hired a consulting firm, then said, "thanks for recycling old ideas but no thanks." I am now a corporate prisoner in one such layout.
Just two weeks ago, I was sitting in a nice, large area with seclusion and a great sweeping view from a relatively normal distance from the ground. I am now in Bentham's panopticon. In an underhanded way, this is probably to destroy all goofing off of the hard workers out of fear of being reported while the shitheads who do not care will goof as normal. Why do I thin this? Human nature plus two weeks of observations.
- Being 28 floors up offers a great view but seriously, it is a bit weird. I'm in a box in mid-air. It feels like such an artificial construct. Not sure if I can do the space capsule colony guys. Probably need a lunar or Mars base to live in; at least a ship that generates gravity by spinning.
- Any release I had from laughing at you funny guys on Twitter is gone. Then again, reviewing twitter feeds after work, some of you have degenerated into "more reactionary than thou", which is lame. Guys, if half your tweets are posing, you look like a douche. Never go full Assimov.
- The assholes who call home often or Skype WITH THEIR KIDS AT HOME waste an hour a day at least. Skyping with your kids at home. What is wrong with you?
- Fat people who eat small lunches but graze on junk all day. One cabinet drawer is the chip drawer for a fattie. She stuck a bag of chips in the drawer. Opens drawer, leaves bag open, and munches all afternoon.
- Wow, the world is full of unattractive people and people who were attractive but let themselves go. Give me back my high walls.
- Executives walk around asking why it is so quiet and why people aren't collaborating. Look at their ears, everyone has headphones and ear buds in to block out distractions.
- The volume of everyone's phone speaking voice dropped 20 decibels. This is a good thing because I work with some loud talkers but it hampers business calls because tone and emotion are gone. We've all gone robotic.
- Socializing or even discussing business things has dropped to nil. The collaboration thing has backfired. Because most business talk ended in a social bit. No one wants to risk narc potential now because everyone else will hear.
- If you talk to a direct report, everyone will hear how they goofed up. Before, you could pull them into your high walled area and have a quiet conversation. Now, 3 other people will hear how they derped something for the fifth time.
- If you ever doubted being a cog in the machine, this set up drives it home. Some thirty year vets at X level used to have offices or very secluded cubicles. Now they are just at the same desk as a newbie. We do not value "human capital", just work faster.
- Can't wait for that return call from prospective company X.