Friday, June 27, 2014

Baskett Case - Life of an E-list Athlete

Oh to be a professional athlete. The refrain of little kids and some grown men. Chances are fat, slim or none, whichever you prefer, but not much of a payoff. Baseball and basketball have few spots in the majors, so if you don't "make it big" you get to sell insurance or give motivational speeches. A lot of guys who played minor league baseball also have a college degree, and by golly, get picked for jobs needing people skills. Maybe because idiots who deal with them will be impressed with their status as 9th round pick for the Cleveland Indians. The NFL has more spots. If you make it as a pro, you too can marry a Playboy Playmate. At least that was Hank Baskett's dream.

Baskett was an undrafted rookie who played a few years for the Iggles as one of McNabb's bum targets and then was last seen muffing a surprise onside kick in a Super Bowl. He married one of Hef's "Girls Next Door". The skank one with fake guns who kind of looked like a sporty, prettier Chelsea Handler (I preferred Bridget, the 3rd wheel with real breasts). A quick exit out of the NFL by age 28, a reality show and 2 kids later, and he's Mr. Kendra. She is their revenue generating stream now. His net worth matches hers, yet his salaries never added to much. Probably means she was the sugar momma. A has been by 30, but he got to bang a Playmate back in her prime!

What's he doing now? Trannies! Seriously. No accident as Hank touched you know what. Even though this he-she has had a ton of work, there is still that uncanny valley where you know something is wrong. Something looks "off". Baskett kind of has Kendra in a vice though because if she was the breadwinner, and she is now in her own E-list capacity, he leaves with half and child support. Even though Baskett is an E-lister, the hollowness of sports fame was revealed in an unusual place decades ago. O.J. Simpson's trial had details of the famous sports star with a movie career and NBC sports commentator gig that showed the boring life. In his mid-'40s there was glamour and wealth but there in testimony from Kato Kaelin and others there were trips to McDonald's, arguments over picking up kids, dry cleaner trips and boring middle aged man stuff. This was a legend! I'd watch it Hank, the divorce could give her career a second wind in the US Magazine sphere.

Good thing so many of our young boys are deluding themselves with dreams of sports stardom. What a payoff!

4 comments:

DCThrowback said...

Being famous, even "e" level, sucks.

peterike said...

Sad and true, but what can be done about it? As long as there are stars, young people will try to emulate them. It's not just sports. How many failed rock stars are there, failed rap stars, failed actors, failed Miss Americas, failed Broadway singers even (yes, princess, you TOO can be Ida Menzel some day -- she's so gorgeous! Just sign up for these $250 an hour singing lessons...).

Every one of these pursuits has an entire eco-system of exploiters and scam artists. I suppose sports is the most widespread, and certainly the most widespread in its effect on boys. Like almost everything, the 50s had it right when sports stars made money but not insane money. Well, I guess other stars did make major bucks back then, like Elvis and Sinatra. Was it ever otherwise? Every era has its form of stardom, even if that meant being the hottest courtesan in Paris with a wealthy married benefactor.

Anyway, this post reminded me of that Jam song, "Dreams of Children."

I fell in love with the dreams of children
I saw a vision of all the happy days
I've caught a fashion from the dreams of children
But woke up sweating from this modern nightmare, and
I was alone, no one was there
I was alone, no one was there
Something's gonna crack on your dreams tonight...
You will crack on your dreams tonight
You will choke on your dreams tonight

peterike said...

Off topic, but some nostalgia on a warm summer Friday. Check this photo of the Jersey Shore in 1908, when it was an all white world. Amazing. It damn near makes me cry. (Don't forget to click to zoom.)

http://www.shorpy.com/node/18039

nikcrit said...

@peterike,

Yep, you called it; i just wiped a few tears away.

I imagined myself in that crowd, amongst all those beautiful babes ----- and then i heard a voice say: 'Hey, what's that semi-moolie doing around here!"