Friday, May 02, 2014

In Love With The Twitter Girl

i check my social media every single night
it's really dark except for the light of her rainbow display
i scroll the feed my eyes squint tight
i count alerts + then rehearse what im gonna say

i really like gay guys
i wanna see cishets bleed
You profile pic highlights your eyes
will you go out with me plz?

i am in love with the Twitter girl
she has a smile of innocence you cant find in porn
i am in love with the Tumblr girl
she is an angel in a Smurphette cosplay uniform

she always tries to impress everyone
she acts real tough unlike all the pussy SWPLs i know
she dont treat me like a lesbian
she is ashamed to be the only anal virgin i know

and when the comment thread gets old
i log off ready to go
she's only eighteen years old
and I'm in love with her so

>Rap interlude<
She's got a tattoo
Poly to the core
she'll bang other guys
But don't you dare call her a whore, boy!

i am in love with the Twitter girl
she has a smile of innocence not seen on web cam whores
i am in love with the Tumblr girl
she is an angel is a retro-dystopian sci-fi form

well there she stands defending a transgender
she's barking orders to the homos and their lemming geeks
if they knew how much I wanted her
those little faggots would have my job by the end of the week

and when i go to log off
my note must have caught her eye
my heart begins to soar
she replies with a winky eye-e-eye, winky eye
winky eye-eeee-yee-eee-yee-eee-yee, eee yeah yeah!

i am in love with the Twitter Girl
she has a smile of innocence like a kitten gif meme
i am in love with the Tumblr girl
she is an angel on the patriarchy smashing teammmmmmmmm!

Lyrics set up to the tune below. I'm still dumbstruck by the man I met recently who started following a woman from Australia on Instagram. She followed him back and now they are getting married this summer. It is social media "You've Got Mail".



3 comments:

bryce1618 said...

I can believe it.

PA said...

I coulda sworn the parody was set to THIS SONG, until I got to the bottom of your post:


peterike said...

Well now I know what "cishet" means. Never heard it before that.