Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Food Labels for the Retarded

Let me preface this with an apology for my post title to those who have mentally disabled relatives. Hopefully, of my 50 readers, no one has to deal with that challenge. The rest of the post will make the title appropriate.

We live in what, the managerial state, the therapeutic state, the totalitarian state, anarcho-tyranny, whatever you want to call it. We also live in an idiocracy of the lazy. The lazy and dumb vote for the very government to fix it all. Fortunately for the dum-dums, there are credentialed government officials here to make sure your stupidity is not a detriment to your health. The US is rolling out new food labels to help the confused, tired, and defeated mothers of America. First Lady Michelle Obama was there to give a roll out speech.* This is another example of the state wanting to remedy stupidity to create new progressive, liberal policies.

From the link:

“So there you stood, alone in some aisle in a store, the clock ticking away at the precious little time remaining to complete your weekly grocery shopping, and all you could do was scratch your head, confused and bewildered, and wonder, is there too much sugar in this product?” she said.

Saying hapless moms want to do the right thing, Obama suggested many give up in defeat because they can’t decipher current nutritional labels without “a thesaurus, a calculator, a microscope or a degree in nutrition.”

“This stream of questions and worries running through your head when all you really wanted to know was, should I be eating this or not?” she said, according to CNS News. “Is this good for my kids or not? And if it is healthy, how much of it should I be eating?”

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Moms are confused, bewilderd and end up defeated. Hold on, how come Hollywood and advertisers tell me moms are the smartest most competent people in the world at every turn? Is that just white married moms that vote Republican? Do I not have the right narrative hat on? Let me put my 'moms are victims' helmet on, wait, OK got it. Moms have "precious little time" to shop for food and know what is correct per the government to buy. They cannot decipher labels unless they have a lot of tools. They are the only ones shopping for food. Hmmm, since she is a Democrat this may be appropriate with their cadre of single mommy voters. Let me poke the holes in this.

1. Mom pressed for time but she can do grocery shopping alone. Get your imaginary setting right.
2. If these moms watch TV, they get bombarded with messages about what the government says is right to eat. The current administration has spent millions, possibly billions, on advertising different health programs. The food pyramid has been in effect for decades now.
3. These moms have also been through schooling, which for the last couple of decades has pushed the government approved diet. It has not done them any good, but still they know it.
4. There is a tool that makes every mom the owner of a calculator, thesaurus and nutritionist prior to shopping and sometimes while shopping - the Internet. Look in the mirror, your husband's administration has made the information required online.
5. They have time. Michelle, the average American has 5 hours a day for leisure time. The average person watches over 4 hours of television a day. Switching 30 minutes to looking up nutritional ifnormation would solve this fake problem. Even the BLS, which only shows the pie chart for working adults under 54 with kids, shows multiple hours devoted to leisure and 8 to sleep. I can tell Michelle Obama never had a real job in her life because she never had a boss ask her if she slept the night before and then follow that question up with, "then you had time to do X". If it matters, you find the time.
6. Guess her target audience is not eating fresh foods. That was wasted marketing.

It does not matter to these fools. People who care will make the time. People also have a good idea of what is healthy. How else would they bitch that healthy food is too expensive? On top of that, how did anyone in days of yore live beyond age 25 without the government to tell them how to eat? This is treating adults like children. Is there any responsibility laid at the feet of consumers? Hasn't the media spent years now pushing the fresh foods over pre-packaged goods? Are people still not listening to those wise words, Mrs. Obama? I would love to see what the labels will say about high fructose corn syrup: sweet poison or nectar of the Gods.

This is all garbage to keep government employees and nutritional experts in academia working. Those useless Masters' degrees won't pay back the loans without the government mandated employment. Regular people will look things up for themselves or figure it out on their own. Some even just mimic what their parents fed them. Thankfully for the government, there is a crop of people who do not care and get fat. That crop of people overlaps often with the poor. These fatties experience adverse health effects, which makes them future news articles... and future poor risks for government pools of health insurance. Headlines often use the words failing and poor, but it's not them that is failing but society and the food industry. Good old government can step in and get it done. It is a disgustingly beautiful picture of a symbiotic relationship.

*Note: Ever notice the slight speech impediment Mrs. Obama has? I think it's physiological looking at her mouth movements and underbite. Sometimes I wonder if between Barack's signs of being a stutterer when younger and Michelle's speech impediment if they found common ground as kids who had speech troubles when they were younger. If you don't believe me on Barack's stutter, watch him off teleprompter. He repeats himself, stumbles incessantly and will attach his 'train of speech' to weird items (defending Corzine in '09 with broom). Stutterers don't stutter when they know what they are going to say.


peterike said...

Good parsing of the whole depressing state of affairs.

In a way Ms. Obama is right: there is a vast sea of complete imbeciles in America, a great many of them imported. But of course no labeling will work for them. You could put a giant label on the Frosted Flakes that says "death inside" and they'd buy them anyway because SUGAR YUMMY.

Though of course the mothers who concern themselves with nutrition know exactly how to read a label, and that's also why so many of them are at Whole Foods and not loading their shopping carts with Pillsbury and Swanson. Those who care, do. Those who don't, don't.

It's all just so fake. The real point of Michelle's "cause" is so she can jet around in style, meet celebrities, stand on stage and be photographed a thousand times and then get oohed and ahhed over by the supplicating feminist media.

PS - I consider myself a proud member of your 50 readers!

Hal said...

Making this even more stupid is the fact that if you're reading something with a complex nutrition label and long list of ingredients, it's almost certainly not healthy. If I had to come up with a single guideline to get people to buy healthy food, it would be: everything you buy should either have no label (fresh fruits/veggies, cuts of meat, etc) or have no more than about 4 things on the ingredients list (packaged staple foods like rice, beans, or spices). That eliminates 98% of the crappy processed fake foods that wreck people's health, and requires no math skills beyond the ability to count to for (which may still be a stretch for some of the shoggoths I see at the grocery store).