Santa is Asian because....
- He's really good with fitting a lot of stuff into a small container.
- Everything is made in his country.
- He's slim enough to fit down chimneys. Have you seen chimney flues?
- He has an amazing understanding of science to make it around the planet in one night.
- He's short.
Santa is Black because...
- His hat matches his jacket that matches his pants.
- Jolly disposition.
- He breaks into people's houses.
- He works one day of the year.
- Despite association with Christianity, he's oddly secular in his behavior.
Santa is Hispanic because...
- He works hard to make a lot of toys.
- He rides an old
- He's short and shakes like jelly when he laughs.
- He's married to a woman who pushes food on him.
- His small business is stocked with hardworking, short guys that he doesn't pay.
- He's Catholic.
Santa is White because...
- He is pathologically altruistic.
- He is the head of a massive non-profit, charity program that receives government support.
- He's obsessed with judging people and status games but he still rewards everyone despite their failings. More kids need coal, Santa, more kids need coal.
- He's married but has no kids. Instead, Santa dives into his career and hobbies. Kids would cramp his individual goals and self-actualization.
- Likes winter sports.
Santa is Gay because...
- Married to a fat woman but no kids. BEARD!
- Have you seen his outfit?
- Loves having his picture taken.
- Surrounded by
- Names of the reindeer sound like the names of male dancers (Dasher, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, etc.).