Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Four Easy Steps to Improving the State of Women

Hey ladies bitching about America, consider some advice outside the Jezebel, women's magazine, mainstream media circuit. Follow my simple four step guide to improving the female condition in America. It's amazing because everything is completely in your hands. Send out a mass email or maybe Sheryl Sandberg can send out a mass Facebook message to all female users. Being COO has to be good for something. Here's the fix to the paradox of declining female happiness (gee, maybe those new, materialistic things don't matter much).

1. No sexual intercourse until marriage.
2. Stop sleeping with married/taken men. This will be easier by following number 1.
2a. If you discover he's taken, end it all immediately.
3. Use your voting power to have porn sequestered into a red light district. Once men will have an easy to block series of sites from your family computer or heaven forbid, have to pay for porn again, it is over for the avalanche of smut available for free at the click of a button. Seriously, you bitch about female representation in Super Bowl ads but avoid the Internet's pornucopia.
4. If overweight or obese, lose 25 lbs. This will help your health as well as dating selection.

Men would lose easy targets. Men would have to invest in women to get the goods. Men might have to compete in things other than appearing to be disinterested in you, dominant and super-cool for a 2 hour period. Men would not have access to free high quality pornography. Losing weight would also improve all women's chances with more desirable mates (guys who don't sink to whale hunting are higher quality men). Significantly more women would be of normal weight in the dating market (roughly the 1/3 that are overweight would now be in the normal band). If women continuously lower standards, men will continuously meet them.

These steps are all in your control. All of them. Consent laws are set up in your favor. Married men are easy to spot with the rings and 'cheaters bands' and all. No one will defend free porn except the freedom of info nerds, so sequestering it would be fantastic. If we can code strip clubs out of cities, we should be able to code porn into a virtual region. Losing weight is up to you.


Red said...

If you want a revolution banning porn is the surest way to get it.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Porn is the soma that lulls young men into a fog.

asdf said...

I stopped being lazy long enough to write a blog post:


whisker child said...

I remember decades ago, reading a book that told you, when porno rules the land, men's minds run from responsibility. Written by a guy.

Don't remember title or author; I remember telling people about it, and them laughing...