Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Monetize PRISM

Everyone is looking at this NSA domestic spying thing all wrong. You're only looking at how it could be sued to destroy someone's life, watch people, harass the citizenry. Look around you. This citizenry has no fucking clue what is going on. Look at the incredibly stupid situations they allow the political class, which is extremely small, to push them around. Europeans are whining bitches for protesting over their retirement age being raised from 60 to 62, but at least they are up off the couch. Stop thinking like a properly paranoid American, and start thinking like a proper businessman. Information only matters to companies like Facebook and Google if they can monetize it. The NSA has everything they could ever ant on anyone in America, right? Let's monetize PRISM and end the federal debt.


The government spends plenty of money advertising terrible programs. Let's switch up advertising so that 1/5 of all department's ads at all times are switched for the NSA Buyback + Deletion program for that microtarget. If Dems can send "Deafs for Democrats" political flyers, then the Feds can set this program up to act like a surgeon's knife. The NSA Buyback + Deletion will offer the following packages of information for one to purchase. All proceeds go straight to paying down the National Debt (bypassing the annual budget so they can't just spend more).


1. Parents can purchase all of the texts, images, and emails sent by their children for their review or select the delete all option (some things are best left unknown).
2. Individuals can purchase all communication sent through whatever set channels during a set period for deletion. Married individuals must pay an extra 20% surcharge to prevent the NSA from notifying your spouse that you made such a bid.
3. Women can pay to delete all picture images sent from all means of communication.
3a. Women can leave their sent images up for auction for men (and gay women) to bid on, but as a blind auction, men can only know who it is, not what the actual images are. Women can then see where they rank in % terms. Same previous two options for men.
4. People can buy back all of their Google/Yahoo/Bing search terms.
5. People can pay to disassociate their name from the IP that visited set websites or just delete the entire website page visit listing for a set IP address for a set time.
6. Market all the pics to all the different fetishists out there.


This would most likely work with proper marketing, and if all options are fixed priced with a sliding scale for amount of data or number of photos/websites except for the 3a. option, which is different. We could send results to that individual, although a scoreboard might be better for the ego boosting. It could be set to specific email addresses, phone numbers, website, etc. An a la carte menu is better and will make them feel like they have more control of the cost. None of the Internet companies get a cut, and no individual gets a cut of their data being bought in option 3a. The ego boost is the individual's reward.


Please, criticize this plan. I guarantee billions of revenue a year. How many cheating spouses will pay to erase the trail that they previously thought was safe? How many people will erase their past? How many parents will erase their child's stupid decisions? Wouldn't people fear that employers may start asking for NSA data? There is a right to privacy from the government (wait, that's just for abortion), but there is no right to privacy from a private party. The billions will roll in if you market it as "protecting your child's future", "they may eventually know the real you", or "you'll be sure, she'll never know". The NSA: you may not forget it, but for a price, we can.

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