There are enough people aware that society is decaying that small things can be discussed in like thinking company. Enough decay has set in that it might be possible to mention certain undesirable topics. A good way to discuss the decay in general is to bring up the fact that we have lost the will to tell people bad news or things which can't be fixed. We don't face reality and many even deny it. If you are feeling brave enough, it might be better to volley or mock a newer concept of liberalism that is peculiar to the gay community, especially the lesbian community. When someone uses the word cisgender or cismale, ask them to explain it. At the heart of the issue is that lesbians don't want to feel sad that their sex changes failed, and they are not men, which is a status that they constantly claim to be in order to get the sex change.
This isn't a gay men issue, but as Sailer pointed out nearly twenty years ago, gay men and lesbians might as well be from two different tribes. It's true since one group is male and the other is female, therefore to non-blank slatists, they should behave differently. Lesbians seem to not just be down for sex and relationships with the hottest women around, which seems to be the gay male approach to dating. Lesbians also get wrapped up in where they fit in the niche of les-world. This skews young as after a while lesbians get beyond that BS and find their groove in middle age. Young lesbians can spend hours explaining how they are gender queer, neutral, femme, butch, gold star, etc., which last I knew wasn't an issue with gay men. Very few lesbians seem to be women happy to be women who like feminine women for being women. That is the default for gay men (reverse genders obviously). Lesbians' style of dress advertises their identity and the niche they fill. It's their badge of gayness. Maybe it is linked to insecurity and low self esteem? Straight women aged 18-25 have similar concerns about who they are, so this isn't that wild. If they are that sensitive, wouldn't they create means to prevent the greatest failure of all?
The term cisgender started up in the mid-90s. This was also a period where lesbian, gender ID issue activists, authors, and professors (aren't they all the same) were publishing books, touring America, and speaking at colleges. It was mostly blank slatist and gender theory ideas and how 18-22 year old women who might be exploring their sexuality should go full bore and become men through hormone therapy and surgery. This is separate from those rare cases where people have genetic coding issues or were born XXY or odd combinations that cause them to want gender changes. To steal from an old post, these wandering, snake oil salesmen like professors put ideas into confused young women's minds at an odd time in their lives. These ideas were helped by the study by John Money of identical twins that they switched the gender on after an accident right after birth. That fraudulent study full of child abuse was the basis for much of the "gender is taught" garbage of academia. Money was abusing the twins, lying about his results, and yet the study was used as the basis for gender arguments and still respected by professors today. This is a growing population despite it's tiny size, and the age of gender switch subjects is lower and lower. This can apply to the male mind that would choose to switch genders, but seems far more common in the lesbian-gender queer group. The lesbians in the late 90s and early 2000s that were starting to go down the gender reassignment road faced a big problem: acceptance by friends, family and most of all, their female lesbian lover.
Picture a gender queer lesbian in a loving lesbian relationship, shacking up starting in week two. After five years, one of the women gets re-assigned to 'male'. This isn't the Mr. Garrison problem where his boyfriend stopped dating him after the sex change. What if the lesbian who stayed a woman says, not just to herself, but openly to everyone else, "I'm still a lesbian" or "I'm a lesbian"? That woman is repeatedly telling her switched partner, "You are not a man, you failed because I, your lover, still consider myself a lesbian, which means I consider you a woman". Lesbians couldn't handle that. It would crush their contrived worldview that they are a man inside, which is why they love women and why they mutilated their body. Who would want to go through a huge ordeal like gender reassignment and make it a giant production for their entire social circle only to see the love of their life not recognize, accept or legitimize it? No one. This was definitely on the minds of lesbians considering sex changes in the '90s. I had conversations with lesbians starting the gender reassignment path at age 20 about this issue. It's a huge statement to change one's gender, one's identity, and, down to the last detail, one's name (SWPL chicks with so-so careers tell me so). Why not just come up with a new name for their new state of being?
Transmale. Oh, now they are male, but not cismale like me. They are a special type of male. Their mind considers themselves male, and now their body matches up with it. This can allow you to identify as male but give your partner an out to still call herself a lesbian since you are transmale. Oh, now I get it, everyone's little egos and feelings remain intact. I've got a news flash for you: you're just a woman who had a giant identity crisis during a weird part of your life and switched your genders to play out your niche in the lesbian world. Just because you had a surgery to have parts added to resemble male genitalia, maimed your body and erased your femininity does not give you the slighest idea what it feels like to be a man. Ever wake up with morning wood as a surprised or embarrassed teen? Ever have a wet dream? Ever scratch your balls while pissing for 10 seconds because it felt good?
These transgendered lesbians don't have the history of discovering what being a physical man is, just as I don't have the slightest clue what being a teenage, maturing girl was for lesbians. It's a macabre act to mutilate oneself. It's also an odd act of destroying one's physical and mental history as a man or woman. You are in effect killing your old self. It's going to get strong reactions from friends and family, including some that will hurt your feelings. Instead of acting responsible about your actions creating reactions, you and your ilk would rather call others haters, homophobes, gender normative assholes, etc. Stop forcing the rest of us to consider this normal, smile and play along. You are a sliver of a sliver of the population. Your lover can still call herself a lesbian, and you will have to live with your partner never really accepting your super serious sex change. You can create all the new words in the world, but acceptance never comes from invented language. Legitimacy can not be imposed. Legitimacy can only come from acceptance. No label on such a brutal act will ever yield acceptance, but it may placate your ego, feelings and self esteem.