Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Wave Theory

I once had a theory or philosophy concerning life explained to me by an long time married colleague of mine who at 50 looked back on his bachelor days with misty nostalgia. Over time, I added the wave starting to break and the divorce corollary.

Wave Theory

Catching the Wave - In college, you're just learning the game, you still are dependent on your folks for $$, but the pool of college women to date is amazing and you develop your drinking tastes.

Near the top of the wave - Single, living on your own and enjoying life. The period of freedom you get when you got your own place and can drink yourself silly every night is an amazing moment in time.

The top of the wave - You're living the bachelor life and have a steady supply of young women to have sex with on a regular basis. 

Wave has just crested - You find a steady woman and have the serious relationship but you're still living by yourself so you can get hammered plenty. The wave slowed down, and you are right on top but saying "whoa, why do I have to hang out with your lame friends now?"

Wave has started to break - She moves in/engagement. Hopefully, you luck out and your woman loves to cook. You still have independent pursuits; you're not always doing lame "couples" things.

Wave curls and casts a shadow over you -You get married. You have to have dinner parties all of the time. With the help of other married couples, you make fun of single people like they are living the boring life in an attempt to make yourself feel better about being married.

You see the wave curl right in front of you - You had a kid, idiot.

The wave crashes on you, and when you stand up after, the surfboard crashes into you knocking you down again - You're 40, have two kids, an oppressive mortgage and you spend vacations going to lame places like "Plymouth, Ma" and "the Amish Country". Even better, you have to go to lame stores like "The Christmas Tree Shop".

Divorce Corollary - One separate thing to consider is that the wave crashes on you if you get a divorce and have to pay alimony. No alimony or kids, divorce restarts the wave, and if wise, you will ride it longer this time. If you're paying alimony and have to deal with a custody battle, the wave destroys you.

Enjoy being at the top of the wave. One day will come when you will feel the water chasing after you.

3 comments:

PRCD said...

Is that really how you look at marriage and family?

Young children are hard, but they get older and you can do more with them. They become your little friends.

It's nice having the constancy of a good wife.

Then again, I am part of a religious institution that takes all this very seriously and that's very rare nowadays.

Son of Brock Landers said...

I'm married and have a kid, and can say that I am completely happy with those decisions. I hope to have more, and I recommend marriage to others. I also view the PUA attitude towards marriage as based half on truth and half out of fear.

This wave theory is in regards to being an independent man. Once you get married, you now have to factor in another person with your decisions. Once you have a child, it's never the same.

Pete Rosy said...

Find a woman that is completely comfortable with you in the drivers seat. Shit test every which way but loose. Have a bunch of kids and be a great father. Option 2 is to choose a woman that would make a good ex-wife, not stupid, manipulative or hateful, have a bunch of kids and get divorced. Stay friends and be a great father to the kids.