Saturday, May 07, 2011

Things I Talk to My Black Female Coworkers About that I Couldn't Say on TV

I know I am a charismatic guy, but for some odd reason, two of my closest friends at work are black females 10+ years my elder. It might be my hidden knowledge of 1970s 'black music', my jokes on rappers turning into beer spokesmen and family movie stars, or my 'unexpected' ability to dance well. In reality, we share common interests, laugh at many of the same jokes, and are honest with each other. Over the course of 4+ years, we have discussed many things that I'd get banned from TV for asking or discussing. I can get away with things because that is what I do in general, and because we are good friends. They are both great coworkers, have been to my house, were some of the first to know at work about my wife's pregnancy, have great senses of humor, and are good people. I enjoy finding out answers to things I'd never hear the truth about on a TV or NY Times article. The topics, which we will bring up multiple times, are:

1. The constant eye rolling of black women at the antics of black men. Supposedly, they can roll their eyes while closed.
2. The dearth of good brothers to marry, but the pressure from mom to stay within the black race while their brothers sleep with fat white women.
3. How one ABW (angry black woman) is Ok in a situation, but two will lead to trouble. Two can enter, only one can leave.
4. White woman welfare (child support), which I think I posted about before here.
5. The pressure to give in with regards to sex at a young age because there are fewer men to go around so all options are used to try to keep him.
6. Fighting the good fight to get your kids to behave well when no one else's parent seems to be trying.
7. Bad schools because of the kids from the hood who will hold your kid back academically but your child will want to do everything socially with the very same kids.
8. Hair, hair care, hair extensions, wigs, and black on black female pressure concerning hair.
9. The circling of the wagons to defend any black male celeb (R Kelly is mentioned often) accused of any wrong doing, but no circling of the wagons to defend black women who are single moms not by choice but by a man running out on them blasted by politicians for years who are at the bottom of society's totem pole.
10. The 50% black male drop out rate, and how every excuse will be given for them when the same schools graduate much higher rates of black females.
11. Money vs. Wealth: how the black community needs to explain the difference.
12. There is no female Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton because she is too busy with a real job.
13. Finding out on date 3 that your date has served time in jail for the 5th time in your life.
14. The competition that ensues over a man with a job as a W2 normal worker. The underground, cash economy is even bigger than I assumed.
15. Wanting to adopt but fearing the behavior of the birth mother. (this applies to everyone but no one would say this on TV and survive)
16. Wanting to move to the suburbs but getting pressure to not sell out, not moving, then listening to the same family members that pressured you to not move lament over the state of the schools in your community.
17. Seeing Jackson/Sharpton ride into town over a black male in trouble that is his fault but no attention for the countless rape victims within the black female community (this has happened in my metro area & was the saddest conversation we have had). From all of our conversations, I'd guess that sex crimes & cover up in the black community are a HUGE problem even bigger than the statistics show.
18. The 73% illegitimate birth rate, and how it seems only their mom was the one that stressed the importance of getting married first.
19. How come most of the mainstream black female sex symbols seem to have one white parent?
20. Queen Latifah stealing roles from black unknown actresses. "Robbery" was the exact word used in relation to Queen Latifah being the lead in any movie.

I'm an equal opportunity person who just wants the best classmates, coworkers, bosses, people around me. I don't buy into the diversity kumbaya crap they sold me in school as to why diversity is good for a school, a company, etc. It is fascinating, as a seeker of knowledge, to learn about a community, even if there is little I'd want to enjoy within that community. Regarding the realm of diversity, diversity of religions has had the greatest impact on me. Learning about the Jewish faith & code of living, learning about Buddhism & Hinduism from South Asian friends, and learning that Islam has a mystic following (Sufism) as well as the hard line Salafist/Wahhabist styles has had a great impact on how I live my life.

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