Friday, February 05, 2010

The WSJ NY Times Whining Overeducated White Women Articles

The recent WSJ article on Mr. Right being hard to find, and the subsequent 'me too' NY Times articles, is the absolute best example of NY media creating new 'problems' for upper class overeducated white women in NYC. Oh stop the presses, some overeducated white women can't get married by age 35. Oh lordy!

This is not a problem....
1. This is secretly a vehicle for women to brag about themselves. It's called whine bragging. Get used to it as the world has become such a calm place we now have to find ways to bitch about the good things. See this entry on Ann Althouse's blog about whine bragging about a marriage.
2. Women, wake up, men have been doing this for years. How come no one ever wrote this article when men were married 'down' to women without college degrees? Maybe they can start doing what men did and look for healthy genes and charming partners. Maybe they can marry a guy who doesnt make as much money as them or have multiple degrees and fuckin' live with that. Oh the horror!
3. Get over yourself. Seriously, you're probably not attractive, no matter what the WSJ or NY Times says. They ripped on Christina Hendricks.
4. This is the downside of feminism. Sorry, secretly men now get all the milk for free thanks to sexual liberation and we do not have to worry about being the primary breadwinner. "It's OK to come out boys, we won!"
5. This is the latest thing the NY media makes a fuss about when they do not want to talk about real people problems. Last year, it was talking about people making 100K annually seeing their salaries reduced or god forbid their cancellation of NY Knicks season tickets.
6. This feeds into the women are not truly complete without a Mr Right.
7. Intelligence is overrated in a partner, and a college degree does not signify intelligent.

If it is here's some solutions...
1. Get over yourself
2. Maybe on a date talk about the world and your interests, not a list of your accomplishments.
3. Maybe look for what is inside a person. After all, college degrees are given out like pez now. With the incidence on mental disorders at my college, I am thankful i did not marry one of those genius Scarsdale girls.
4. Maybe when you spent 3-4 years in grad school and broke up with that great guy because you didnt have time for him but he was so right, maybe, just maybe, that guy was the mr right for you. I'm not typing this as a guy dumped because someone wanted to set up a free clinic in sub-saharan africa by age 30 when she was 20, wait yes I am. $100 says she's still single and her biological clock is loudly ticking.
5. Mr or Mrs Right is a romanticized concept that didn't and doesn't really exist. Consider how long arranged marriages lasted in even the Western world. In the 1890s, some people started to marry for this thing called love. Drop it. It feeds into our obsession will perfection.
6. Get over yourself. Your bourgeois concerns about Mr Right make me laugh. The world is a dangerous, tough place where many people have big, daily problems. You, Ms Great Accomplishment Life, finding Mr Right is waaaaaaay down the priority list.

Dr Helen has a different take on this. Ann Althouse has been citing this as well here, here and here.


Whitney said...

Oooh ooh I have opinions about and responses to this! That I probably shouldn't be typing because I have a paper due in two hours but whaaatever.

Pretty sure I read the article you're talking about a few days ago and thought it was really freaking stupid, namely because it's incredibly insulting to women. Totally agree that it's a completely irrelevant issue and it boggles my mind that so many people apparently devote such time and energy toward this. Issues with your takedown of it, however, are as follows:

1) You're talking about a 'downside to feminism' in the same breath as using the ancient (and completely ridiculous) misogynistic idea of "free milk". Please tell me why anyone worth speaking to would be willing to listen to someone spouting off sexist tropes in the midst of their feminist critiques.
2) God forbid a 20-year-old woman would be focusing on/caring about greater & more important things than having a boyfriend. Shoulda been thinkin' about havin' those babies in a coupla years anyway before that 'biological clock' times out, amiriiiight? And single?! At THIRTY?!!! Shiit, must suck to be her. I mean, we all know how women are not truly complete without a Mr. Right anyway, right?
3) I find it really sad that you apparently think marrying for love is an idea that should be 'dropped' and that you would even think arranged marriages could ever be a viable, reasonable concept in any possible way. No offense, Mr. Married Man, but my own thoughts on the matter lean more towards the idea that the entire institution of marriage is idiotic and should be done away with entirely. Making real, lasting connections with other people and falling in love is one of the most amazing and important human experiences, and shouldn't be cheapened or forced - which is what marriage does to that idea. But duuude who cares what I think, I'll probably turn into a ring-crazed, ~*~perfection~*-obsessed bridezilla in a few years anyway, being female and all. Thanks society.

Son of Brock Landers said...

1. Good point. I can't deny my hetero male POV even if I support equality-feminism. free milk is true though. While I am glad to live in post-sexual liberation USA, there's something to be said about guys having to wait. Ever wonder why modern poetry sucks?

2. Sometimes I type things to be funny. You werent there for how she broke up with me; that was her lame excuse. I'd have accepted "I dont dig you". You should understand me making a joke on my past and should have noticed my point #6 that said "6. This feeds into the women are not truly complete without a Mr Right." Do you read my points or just look for stuff that riles you up?

3. You didnt read my point. Mr Right is the concept to be dropped, not marriage for love. Arranged marriages are terrible. Love, faith and trust in each other combined build the strongest foundation a couple can have in a marriage. After all, a marriage is just a contract.

The comedy of you saying marriage should be done away with while simultaneously wishing for gay marriage is FANTASTIC. Actually, it made my day.

Whitney said...

1) Women want sex just as much as men do. The whole dynamic of men pursuing women for sex and women guarding their precious vaginas is ridiculous & damaging.
2) HAHAHA I knew I should have included a < / sarcasm > tag or at least a < / logicfail > tag. Quoting you intentionally, dude. It's ironic and hypocritical of you to make point #6 and then turn right around a few points later to include negative implications about a woman being single at 30 and having a 'ticking biological clock', however 'funny' you are attempting to be. As much as I just loooove getting my angry feminist on [< / sarcasm >], I'm a very careful reader thankyouverymuch.
3) I certainly don't fight for gay marriage rights out of any sort of love or respect for the institution itself. I fight for them out of a desire for a discriminated-against group to have the same opportunities for special rights as advantaged groups, and to end the privileging of one group of people's love over another's in our society. It's the principle. If the practice of marriage and all the rights/privileges that come with it could be ended entirely or at least made a solely religious ceremony with no civil implications, that would solve not only THAT problem, but a multitude of others, as well. I fail to see the fantastic comedy inherent in this concept.

Son of Brock Landers said...

Just a history lesson but 8-9 yrs ago the NY times made up the dating 'problem of metrosexuals'. It's amazing what the NYT does.

1. Women are just as bad as men, I agree & enjoy it. You've obviously never slept with a women or else you would know that vaginas are precious. Do not belittle the pursuit of them!

2. Somewhere inside there's still college me that wants to picture her doing good in Sub-saharan africa... and the spurned 20 yr old that hopes she's lonely. In reality, I bet she prob sold out and married an MD or blech, a lawyer, and moved to Larchmont. Sorry my joke failed. I can't always hit HRs.

3. if marriage is such a horrible institution, how can the side that has access to govt approved marriage be considered privileged??? The privileges must come with that marriage handbook I'm waiting for. Why waste time fighting for a group of people you like to suddenly be trapped into the same cycle? I'm pro-gay marriage but not your style. can you (or peers) not compare anti-gay marriage folks to Nazis? That is over the top, lame, and the sign that a side has no decent criticism (Godwin's Law).

You are an interesting person to comment talk to but... ever notice how angry & know it all you sound in your typing and how pleasant & curious I am? Like I actually do want to hear your opinion, while you just want to type/shout yours?

Whitney said...

If you want a list of all the benefits couples receive (and/or the ones unmarried couples don't have access to), I can make you one, but I really should think you'd be aware.

By my gay rights 'style' I'm assuming you mean my internet/blogging persona, which is typically uncensored opinions, impassioned (perhaps to a fault), and essentially a verbal 'fuck off' to the concepts of subtlety & tact. I think you'd be pleasantly surprised to find that when I am discussing or debating the issue in person, especially with people I would love to 'convert' to my side, I am shockingly diplomatic.

I have no idea where this Nazi crap is coming from; God knows I have 'decent criticism' & debate training enough to spare and would never stoop that low, especially considering the fact that I have never in my life heard anyone but conservatives compare people to Nazis. I'd pass that request along to them.

Nice passive-aggressive tone argument. For what it's worth, I do occasionally enjoy participating in our mild online 'disagreements'. ♥

Son of Brock Landers said...

I checked your tumblr posts. I mixed up your link of a post with another tumblr blog. Sorry kiddo. Still, it's wrong to yell Nazi for not supporting gay marriage. Are you fucking shitting me on the Nazi thing? Look up 'bushitler' on google. We spent 8 years hearing libs say bush = hitler.

Out comes the patriarchy conspiracy link. It's even better after spending my days surrounded by 50+ yo women who faced real discrimination. It's not a silencing technique here (especially when in a question form, expecting a response), this is a legit comparison of how we converse whether on the phone or through comments. I see it more as a 'teen thing'. I learned with time when to use the axe and when to use the paring knife. You're a smart girl, not everything is a conspiracy of the patriarchy.

We don't disagree as much as you think. We're both socially liberal people, but you trust govt control of things while i respect private property rights, free markets and economic liberty. Off to watch "The Prisoner" with my wife, bwahahaha the secret benefits of marriage!!!

Whitney said...

It always makes me wince to remember that you only know me off a really random distracted phone convo during a really bad time in my life while I was internally FREAKING OUT about personal issues that will not be named...niiice. Not at all the best impression of me, I would say.

I forgot about the bushitler meme, my bad.

You're lucky you have the privilege of being able to live your life freely without seeing (& being affected by) the extensions of patriarchy everywhere.

Erica said...