Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Sad Series on Wrestling

Deadspin runs a weekly series of posts on dead wrestlers. One might think this would be a short term gimmick, but no, the number of dead long before their time wrestlers is very long. The Von Erich family alone is a horror film body count. Some would die very young, so young that you'd say "Whatever happened to so and so" and the reason why they were off air is that they died. Suicide, overdose, heart attacks (jeez roids wonder roids why) and accidents, the odd profession of pro wrestler has a high mortality rate. If you read The Watchmen, you know that the collection of people drawn to the vigilante-superhero life is made up of odd people who have tragic endings. Wrestling strikes me a bit in the same way. What odd people who are willing to do whatever it takes to get to the top will make it onscreen? Maybe those odd people are destined for an odd, early ending.

This week's dead wrestler of the week was Miss Elizabeth. I have to tip my cap to that writer as he captures perfectly how Miss Elizabeth fit in to the wrestling world in all its cheesiness. She was a fixture of the pre-anti hero era of the WWF. Good guys were good and bad guys either were bad or foreign. You should treat the lady with respect. I went to a WWF event in the 80s. I remember wanting a Miss Elizabeth poster. Since pre-Internet the WWF didn't have a good merchandise distribution model that was my chance to get one. They were sold out before intermission. I settled on a Hulkamania shirt. The 5 year old me and my cousin who hated how the Macho Man was always jealous and angry at her. How the WWF played our little hearts like fiddles.

She died in 2003 at the age of 42 from an overdose mixed with vodka. From reading details, sounds like it was the last stop of a bad journey. For at least 10 years int he 80s and early 90s, you could say "miss elizabeth" and little boys eyes' would light up. The WWF has had other sex symbols since Miss Elizabeth, with my favorite as a teen being Sunny (owner of the best buns in the WWF). None of them were, dare I say, as normal, girl next door attractive as Miss Elizabeth. They all have that mix of tattoos, leather and fake boobs that make them look cartoonish rather than feminine. By today's standards, Elizabeth's outfits would be considered conservative. Her make up and hair are tame by night at a club standards, and god forbid, her breasts fit her body!!!!! I remember a couple matches were she wore elbow length gloves. Class for a stupid viewing audience of little boys and their dads. If you are in the great beyond and can hear us, Miss Elizabeth, thank you!

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