Friday, January 08, 2010

Spice Girls Nostalgia

Is it possible to have nostalgia for something only 10 years old? I dug the Spice Girls. Their music was god awful and made totally mindless cheese pop acceptable again, which ushered in the Spears-Aguilera-Nsync era. A tremendous achievement in marketing. I love British accents on women, but not the super rich, aristocratic Brit accent more the muddled non-specific movie Brit accent. This video looks hysterical when you consider what has changed for that crew in the last decade. The Spice Girls were a fun, eye candy group with catchy beats and forgettable lyrtics. The song "2 Become 1" is the perfect example as the beat is just mood music out of the Barry White school, but the lyrics are terrible with condom references thrown in. In 1998, many teenage group of female friends did their SG split. I remember one such argument over who was baby spice. Teenage girls should be kept in in a stasis field from age 13 until they reach 20. My friends and I would discuss the relative values of the SGs. (yes this post is a sequel to the Disney Princess post)

5. Baby Spice (the blonde) - Blonde. Nothing too special. I was in the UK in 2001, and even then lots of blonde girls would do their hair in that Baby Spice pig tail thing when they went clubbing. Odd.
4. Sporty Spice (the talented one) - Best voice of the group, which they used as a back up vocal on the 'solos' of the weaker links (Ginger and Posh). Too thin and fit for me: 6 pack abdomen. Thought she'd make it big as a solo artist during the cheese early 2000s, but it never materialized.
3. Scary Spice (the black one) - 2nd best voice. Had a personality in their appearances and videos. She has aged pretty well with the help of COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF PLASTIC SURGERY. I had to all CAPS it to stress my points. I'd guess she's maybe 1/3 recyclable now. Her hair was awful. Who was in charge of that decision? Scary indeed. In 1998, Scary and Shania Twain were in a battle for who could show their midsection more often.
2. Ginger Spice (the body) - When the Brits asked me who my favorite Spice Girl was I said "Posh but Ginger's got the body", which confused the Brits as they didn't know why Americans might say that as she was a bit 'big' to them. This was repeated when an American friend repeated my stance. Warped sense of big over there. Their concept of thin is (or was) completely bonkers. Terrible voice, didn't move well, and we all know why Ginger was in the group. She had an awful solo career, and she lost a ton of weight, aging quickly in the process. In the "Say you'll be there" video she wears red leather boots that go above the knee. Not very functional, but very effective.
1. Posh (the pretty one) - Another terrible voice. Head to toe in black leather in a desert, I'll say I'll be there. They always dressed her in black. Good call. There is something superior to her look in that SG era compared to present day. Now she is so thin, so robotic looking, so fake, so polished. It's not cool. From 1998-2002, she was amazing. In 1998, she seemed more human, which is a trait so many of today's pop stars lack, especially the younger crowd of performers. They did a fantastic job of giving her an air of style and class when she did not have it yet. I will give her credit now, she can make wearing jeans, a tank top and a scarf while walking your kids around a zoo look glamourous.

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