Monday, January 11, 2010

A for Effort: Ashley Greene


Cheesecake Alert.

Twilight is awful. It is setting up plenty of 11-14 year old girls for complete disappointment when they start dating and their beaus do NOT write poetry or original music for them. Kristen Stewart is quite stupid, plays the same character in every movie a la Molly Ringwald in the 1980s, and yeah, she's attractive. I have since been educated on the merits of Ashley Greene.

1. Brunette - check
2. Chest looks natural - check
3. Pretty face - check
4. Drinks Sobe Energy Water - check, wait what the hell am I saying, who drinks that crap? These ads will be in Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue, which I think is now 10 pages in length front to back and the most irrelevant thing in print today. The internet killed the cool factor of the SI swimsuit issue.

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