Sunday, December 27, 2009

Poseur of the Decade: Snoop Dogg

Snoop Dogg. Snoop Doggy Dog. The D-O-Double G-Y? Because I say so. Almost 20 years ago, Snoop was the skinny guest star of some of Dr. Dre's best tracks off "The Chronic". He had a slow, smooth style to his rapping. He had a mumbly sound with a chill feel. He also was part of the gangsta lite crowd. He beat a murder rap, recorded some memorable rap tracks, and was so thin that I considered him anorexic. He made a couple of bad moves like not cooperating with Suge Knight, signing with No Limit records, headlining Lollapalooza (a WTF moment of the 90s), and living.

Seriously, living was the worst thing for his career. Snoop survived to cruise through the 2000s and embarrass himself. Dying in the '90s would have spared us all a toilet bowl career death spiral. After previously saying he'd nedver do a reality show on his life cause he and his wife were too crazy and combative with one another, he cut a reality show. He was in terrible films like "The Wash" and "Soul Plane". He was on soap operas, bad cameos, bad Mariah Carey songs, and even a Chrysler advertisement with Lee Iacocca. Lee & Snoop are out golfing & extolling the virtues of Chrysler cars. I shit you not. This is the guy who once rapped "all the hookers and hos know how I feel". Lee Iacocca and recreational golfers everywhere approve. Snoop has showed up in ESPN ads wearing a Steelers jersey, which is fnal proof that he will do anything for a paycheck. Snoop did at least gain weight and now looks like a human.

If Snoop of 1991 met Snoop of 2009, 1991 Snoop would beat the shit out of his older self. He absoluted sold out. I know it's great to get paid, but have some dignity. Maybe say no to a promotional offer. Maybe not be such a camera whore. For more than 10 years, especially since Jan 1st of 2000, Snoop has been trading on the fumes of his old career. He trades on street cred that expired with his first McMansion purchase. Snoop would not walk into the hood now without armed guards and some wizzeed to keep him calm. Snoop, you have been a fraud and poseur for 10 years now. We need an arrest. We need a car accident. We need a true rap beef battle. If nothing happens at the start of the next decade, just fade away.

1 comment:

"AG" said...

So weird- I was listening to him on youtube last night- 10 Lil Crips. I HATE his lyrics and who he is. I love some of his music.