Friday, April 17, 2009

Ridiculous Concepts: Mental Infidelity

The stuff that comes out of teens' mouths. My cousin had this concept she loosely termed "mental infidelity", and then one of her friends used it on me in a phone conversation. I was branded of course after revealing that in some of my dreams I dream of having sex with Salma Hayek. Gee, why would a man ever do that! It did get me thinking, besides my defense of mental infidelity on the phone, and I came to the conclusion that this is a concept only a woman could think up and only women could care about.

The idea of an emotional affair is something you see in "Dear Abby' columns, and it is always a woman writing about some guy she digs but she's currently tied to another guy, oh jeez, what to do? This happens because woman don't just break off their current relationship and go for the new guy. Guys would do that, but guys also wouldn't develop emotional attachments that get to that point without acting physically on it first damn be the consequences (we men don't think things through). I've heard of this concept often from women, and it boggles my mind that 1. they'd think a guy would waste time with this, 2. they think their man would care there is a guy that their wives/girlfriends bitch to and use as a "dickless boyfriend" (TM), and 3. so now there's an extra insane level of fidelity a man has to reach to keep a woman happy. WTF? Why do women feel the need to develop these close guy friends? Can't you be a casual friend and share stories but not daydream about a life together with puppies, blended families, and long soft kisses in candlelight? I actually think a lot of these emotional affairs are not mental infidelity, but women just doing their normal mate filtering process, keeping sex out of the picture.

After countless Discovery Channel specials on the human brain and sexuality, countless academic articles on human hardwiring for finding mates, and just general observation of human behavior, I can safely say mental infidelity is bunk, and noticing attractive and appealing people of the opposite gender is a natural part of humanity. A wedding ceremony does not end anything, it just marks a new phase. No one ever stops looking, not even your Grammom. To never look nor never even daydream is inhuman. I would never hold my wife to a standard of never ever thinking of anyone else. That is unfair to her and would be extremely arrogant of me. I would prefer daydreams, random thoughts and even celebrity crushes to an outright physical action.

This last point feeds into my amazement at women who will take back a cheating husband because "he just had sex with her he wasn't in love with her". I've heard of that happening too many times. He may have been sleeping around, but his heart was in the right place. His dick wasn't. I think every guy I know would rather hear there woman confess to some dumbass emotional affair to a physical fling. This actually plays into something else I have noticed: women love to confes problems to strangers, web forums and discuss issues with everyone but the very person the issue concerns. I will always claim ignorance with women, and this is one of the many facets of their behavior I do not follow. I also know this: if I cheated on my wife & she found out, I'd wake up with a knife in my chest. Kudos to her. Thankfully, I also have a wife who is a great friend. As cheeseball as it sounds, that goes a long way. I do not believe in mental infidelity and consider it a made up concept to create drama and tension in relationships where there is none. People have and will always "look", don't deny your inner-prehistoric-brain hardwiring.

I posted the pics as proof that no, I will never stop appreciating women, but I know where the line is. Yes the mawige label is in honor of "The Princess Bride".


Erica said...

oh matthew you misunderstood what i was saying.

"AG" said...

This is a terrific post. I'm so sick of fake problems.

Son of Brock Landers said...

then what did you mean erica? first off, the other person twisted your words, but seriously it is a fake problem as AG said.