Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Spring Semester Senior Year at Cornell..

Here's a winter break rant on women my age and the weird success I have always had with slightly older women...

here's another rant, now every woman over 25 (range from attractive down to plain) i meet thinks i am a very handsome, attractive, you-name-it guy. now how come i cant get that enthusiastic repsonse from particular women under 25. am i the ANTI PEPSI, the choice of the last generation? i just think i need to find a decent woman who's at least an 8 out of 10. no future considerations or gettign ahead of myself, i just need a simple girlfriend for a short while. forget about the 5 yr plan because i am tired of it all, tired of having the feelings and getting nothing in return. vaya con dios, amigos.

I like the line about being the anti-pepsi. I was nto a bad guy, just horrible distracted by the female form. I was a hopeless romantic, not a jerk...like below....

last night drinking with al and erica and i was telling a story but i looked at this girls chest at one point and just lost my train of thought. it was amazing. she was cute, a 7, and her chest was full but not overfull (erica agreed that it was good). i ended up fucking up again when i was talking and looking at her. wonderful. we had a discussion about "inner monologues" and i pretty much said that i dont have one. i dont get embarrassed by what i say. i know that i DO have one and those thoughts are kept privtae for a reason. i am not afraid to say things, whats there to be embarrassed about?

Why ever in life worry about consequences of your words? I had to learn this fast in corporate America. I'm not a boob man, never was and never will be, but I appreciate them. In a disturbing trend, I noticed many of my posts from college involve me being sick or injured. What was going on in college? This next post is after a night of reflection on the problem of young women at my school. I was very vagina centric at school. For those who don't know JAP is jewish american princess. This post was later turned into a novel by Tom Wolfe....

i was at a party this last semester and i remember i was talkng to this busty girl from the hotel school and we were talking and i realized that i had no interest in this girl cause she was pretty numb and a stereotype of what JAPs are here. so i tried a trick. when she was tlaking to me telling me this dumb ass thing, i said "you're friends are sluts" she then proceeded to talk not realizing what i said which made me realize she wasnt listening at all. i left the party shortly thereafter. what i get tired of is talking to girls who look around the room to make sure there isnt someone richer or higher on the social ladder than you to talk to and they have the same stupid shit on and the same stupid friends and the same stupid things to talk about. it gets annoying. peace.

Yeah he ripped me off for that I am Charlotte Simmons book. Seriously, the social ladder and rich thing is exactly how he describes the selection process for young women at colleges whoa re hooking up. My slipping in the comment on her friends was a trick I learned from Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Never one to be bashful about my skills as an athlete here's a recap of football in the mud....

ok first off lets preface this by stating that i am one of the better quarterbacks in backyard football you will ever meet, trust me and my friends' judgment. well today i had a team assembled that i couldnt have wished for more, i had JD on my team finally and we bitchslapped the opponents. sad thing is I was also th best blocker on the field, me a whole 30 lbs less than most the guys there. i go to a school of PANSIES. no one wanted to play physical which is how you get to the quarterback or how you block. you have to hit people, push them. i also hate the 'glory days kids, a la chris brockman and charles persons (cornellian), who wish to rekindle the days when they played sports competitively and think they were good. they are average. The one thing i have to work on in my football skills in tackling, I dont tackle as well as i used to and thats cause iw orry i will break my nose again, and the docs said if i did that again i could be in for a reconstruction since the bone is still healing. ewwww. well on to the living room to chill out. peace.

Yeah, I played QB as a teen in school but injuries sidelined me. I love playing sports with friends for a good time, but I am competitive at everything. I also know my limits. I hate those competitive people who end up hurting others when they play intramurals. It's just intramurals, it is not the NFL. This next entry is a small answer to a simple question. This almost was manslaughter...

What's the most stupid thing you have ever done?
with ilya, throwing a chair off a balcony and almost killing a calzone delivery boy

Yeah we just missed him. What sucked is he had our calzones and was mad. I mean, he almost got killed by us. We tipped him big. This si the entry where I realized that you shouldn't dwell on shit and just make the best ofo your situation. Showing some growth as a person...

well i am feeling a bit frustrated just for this moment because i now realize that in my post-sophomore year depression, I let a lot of time slip by here at cornell. it really bothers me. after a few failed dating experiences sophomore year and lots of stuff with xiled friends at school, i got really down. things just sucked ass a lot. i let this bog me down last fall and then i got to run away for spring term junior year to england. i felt so much better being there and then coming back and preparing for cornell again. i kind of wish that i could go back and shake myself of soph year and say dont worry about friends that are gone, they made their decisions and suffered for them, you dont have to also. well ian just came in with my tonic water so now its time for G&Ts. peace all, and may all your campaigns, burning torches and further crushes come to fruit.

Yup, yous gotsta grow up eventually. Sometimes things just suck ass and there's no other way to put it....

well the weekend home was good, there for the family not too much brewing i have lots of work and reading to catch up on jesus this sucks ass. i need to go to every class from now on and that sucks ass. not much else new, oh yeah i am going hoem for spring break, i made it four years without going to cancun, fuck that sucks ass.

I needed to expand my vocab with that paragraph. Nope a couple days later...

im still sick and it sucks ass.

Need new words. I also needed to seea doctor about my chronic illnesses. Oh wait, I might be super depressed as on Feb 27th I posted...

i've decided that i'm probably going to kill myself at some point. i'm too insane to deal with at times and i would be better dead than alive. i'm just so tired of everything. tired of it all. i've got nothing besides a family and group of friends that thinks the world of me. it's cold and ithaca is lonely in the winter. i want to go to sleep and wake up with ithaca over and me beside an adoring woman like it was in england. kill me. i'm insane. everyday i wake up and i hate my life. i hate the women that fuck with my head. i hate the memories.

Wow, I was a sick bastard. Even in that lame rant, I mention how my friends and family love me. Stupid 22 year old me. This next post is pretty funny when timestamped 2 weeks after the last one...

social life....well doing my normal work with people. sadly enough last night at the hockey game iw as sitting and talking the game away with katie, a girlt hat i had a thing with and because of my going abroad nothing continued. it sucks cause we get along amazingly well and presently are both single and we could be fucking now but i had to go and she didnt want to do anything before i left because of the 9 monnths apart thing. whenever i see her i feel like a failure cause shit could be good but nope.i had a very funny conversation on IM with campaign cornell about me being'in love with myself' and 'thinking i am above everyone'. wow. i never think that because i know what an asshole i am, but as i said why shouldnt i love myself, i am a loyal dependable friend, a smart, funny gorgeous man who is very sociable and good to people. hey whats there not to love? i couldnt believe that she could say this shit and not think it was offensive, she's truly a psycho. erica wants me to just fuck her and shut up but i dont think i could even do that now she's whacked out.cornell's hockey team won their playoff series and now they play in the ecac championship rounds. i hope they win so they can go to the Frozen Four NCAA tourney. it would be really good to get that spotlight for the school's program.we went out the last two night's and well it was same old same old, andrew and ian say i sketch out form parties (leave early) and i agreed. it's cause i find them really boring or there's no women i want to talk to. andrew says that i always say "dont worry where im going" as if i am Batman. like i fight crime from 12:30-6am. nate told ian to fuck off and fuck you at the bar cause hes an asshole. whats new? nothing there. later all

Man, i did have a good front for self esteem as inside I felt awful. This katie mentioned was the 2nd person I thought "yeah I could marry". Thank god I did not as she is a bit whacked out right now and my wife is really really awesome. I love this small reference to the Batman joke. I just got sick of lame parties and would rather be alone. I was off fighting crime. Even at 22, I knew MTV was terrible, and this still makes me laugh today...

i also think that the people on dismissed are morons. just dumb. its a dumb show but the spring break ones are even dumber. the guys that are on there are soooo stupid, and the women, even dumber. it's a dumb show, where people are dumber than even my ex girlfriends. quote of the day on MTV "i am very driven and really wanted an academic challenge so i went to Long beach state", tony made fun of that for an hour or so. we came up with a few priceless mastercard ideas. Trip to cancun, $1000, digital camera $400, cover chareg at club 25$....not having pat in any of your spring break pictures priceless. of course you need to know this pat kid to laugh. he's a tool to the utmost.

Yup, cause long beach state is for driven folks. As depressed as I got, I still had time to be a player....

my fucking game had just rewind
yo so i walk into ruloff's tonight having drank a few at Dino's beforehand. so i am all like, who am i going to beat up on for darts. well this tanned honey is totally checking me out i can dig i even catch her doing it. well me and my compadre challenge her and her friend to a game of darts. my game was on, she was vibing, she was throwing well, we lost and she totally was laughing at my shit and all that. whats real sad is that i've been checking this chick out for 4 years and finally i get her to check me out. i'd fuck her 4 ways to sunday. yeah it was that cool. maybe during senior week we can fuck shit up (back arch).

The back arch thing was combined with shouting in a falsetto "Ow". It was our code for being awesome, getting with a lady or just playing NHL 94 and scoring a goal. Just 3 days later, I was hitting on someone new...

so we go out to a party tonight and it sucked ass, like majorly sucked. so we went to Bear Lodge. there we're playing darts "billie Jean" is on the jukebox and i am singing along, doing a little bit of dancing and shit. the guys make fun of me, but when i go to get my next drink, this hoe gives em some attention. next thing you know matt's talking to her and she's talking about her friends, and how they are IC girls and shit. well the night develops and i am just talking and macking good and shit and well the next thing you know i am going back to their place with my friend jordan, now this was all my work. matt was $$$$$ tonight. i turned it on for pure entertainment and fun. we spent time at their place, shits set up for later time. word. god i am money i just wish i went to a real school with attractive women.

Things still sucked ass. This is the famous Matt goes home with the IC volleyball team night. It lived in infamy for months if not years, if not to this day. Then a weird thing happened one night after drinking...

i awoke at 3am to find raf vomiting in my doorway. yeah my doorway which is 15 feet away from the bathroom that is right next door to his room. how he got there and not to the bathroom i'll never know but i have vomit on my floor now. this is disgusting. 4 years ago i would have kicked his ass for leaving it there to, since i asked him to clean it last night when he did it since i was pretty much in a sleep coma after awaking. i have the fan on to blow out the bad smell. jesus christ that shit i have to deal with with fucking morons who drink too much too often. see children this is why i dont get drunk often, because you can always do something stupid like this. fucking a raf.

This ruined my test day. At least I was not hypocritical in my disdain for drinkers. I did have a good time a few weeks later after weeks of studying and writing papers...

OW!
What's up people? matt hasn't been online in a long while. i have 3 term papers coming up so ow! it's going to hurt in the near future. well not much new this week, but me being a big flirt at bear lodge on wednesday. i had 2 IC girls jawwing away with me. my friend jordan was laughing his ass off because he got stuck taking one for the team as he predicted when he first saw the IC women. the girl i was talking to had a nice body but just wasn't cool enough. a little bit of a college girls gone wild potential type.well on friday i went to a tennis match for my friend Stefan, the crazy german. he lost singles but won doubles and i was yelling 'goldfinger' or 'stefano' at every moment i could. there was one moment where i yelled good eye stefan and he gave the thumbs up from across the court. it got a good laugh from the crowd. i met a blonde while there and already started the game, or the magic as stefan calls it.well i went out friday night to some secret society party, yeah we have one on campus and i know people in it (andrew, stefan, etc). so this julie girl comes with my group, and she's looking good. so i was charming as always and shit was hitting off really well, she did the 'touch the back move' on me a bunch of times when i'd say something really witty, yeah me witty? you're thinking. well shit was good and at the end of the night stefan is like "matt i want to see ze magic" and i'm like "i know that you know i have the magic but it can only be used with the right crowd" i saw my people off and was like word! so now i am going to email this julie chick for some face time, you know throw it down or something. we'll probably end up getting coffee/drinks and then end up at her place to talk and when i say talk i mean we be fucking, no, not really. yo does anyone know where that "i mean we be fucking" line comes from? name the movie?

Man, what an asshole I was. I was at least shouting Ow maybe 20 times a night. I needed to get punched in the face. Here's more of a strategy for school that is a failure...

i have an 8 page paper due on wednesday and i am pretty set for it. i don't have anywhere near the proper amount of resources for the paper, but i do not care anymore as any idiot can write a paper and get a C-, and with 30% of my grade being an A- my grade average for the class would at lowest be a B-, going intot he final. i don't care anymore remember.

This is not what to do kids. Also, don't drink a lot...

OW everybody saying OW
Alight thursday night at elmira was cool. met soem cool people, ben's a funny fuck who knows King Missile. Jessie showed al and i a good time. we also made threats to someone's life if they fuck up, which will be folllowed through with, especially if I dont have a job and will be mad at the world. erica was cool for the night, and i got everybody at elmira going "OW!" now thats cool.alright slope day......alex and i drove back to ithaca and went to wegamsn for coca cola. we also started drinking at 10am. we were on the slope at 11am, it was dead, i was sad. time passed we were into everyone i know pretty much. we drank a lot and smuggled the most liquor onto the slope of anyone at cornell. alex also downed a lot fo it, me too. we also stocked up on beer at jordans place which was a good home base. the slope filled up more and it was cooler. the cold weather scared people away i think. we said "OW!" on the slope about a million times, and the originators of OW were there too, to do it with al and i. OW! i ran into Katie again. we had a great time talking as always. it made me sad, and i think i'm going to talk to her again about things. i get too sad when i remember that my going abroad prevented me from having anything long term with her. she's awesome just really really cool......oh yeah and has really amazing breasts, just amazing.after the slope we came back and crashed, i had dinner with other Katye. al kind of slept. we had a BBQ here and watched the Sixers lose dammit. later, we went to a party and i ran into ilya on college ave. he's doing cool and we talked and i am probably going to NYC this summer to visit him. sometime. alright i am out. peace.

So many wrong things here. The Ow yelling. The drinking. Al passing out. A drunken Ian mistaking alex for me despite us looking nothing alike. My misguided idea of talking to Katie about "us" before graduation. Not a good idea. I also like how I pointed out her amazing breasts twice. I posted this before but here goes...

take fucking notes
alright there people gather roudn it is time to take soem notes and enjoy a good story......so i go to a BBQ for ym friend, shit is cool, we go to a bar tab this rich kid is having. i see IC kristen that i met weeks ago, shes all touchy feely and i talk adn shit and i ask her lets get together soon, she is like yeah, lets do that, so she gives me her number. TWICE. she writes it on my hand and then on some paper so i will keep it. secondly i talk to a goddess of cornell, one of the 54 hot ones, and she is like, i dont just want to see you around, i want to see you senior week. she is the spitting image of rebecca de mornay. how hot is that? thirdly, a hot chick transfer to CU talks to me with a huge rack and a pretty face all like you're a senior damn, i am on that. i was like "oh shit you just read the number on my hand, fuck" she then left, oh well. fourthly,, i am walking back drunk from the candy store and i help a girl out. she talks ot me i talk to her, we end up making out behind the hari salon. she was fucjking hot. flat stomach hot body, pretty face, i told her "what are you doing talking to me?" she said "Hey i know good shit when i see it" i am slipping the hand to grab her ass and her friend catches us, shes busts the scene up and tells me she will bring Leanna back home safe and sound. i am left to come back home with candy and to be with my guy friends. now if kristen had been cool up front i would have been fuckign her weeks ago. ARRRGGGGHHHH, well senior week is cool. i ran into ym friend mike, he's cool and he will keep in touch. sp fucking learn people. peace matt

Walking back drunk from the candy store... Not to be outdone by a sober recap the next morning....

i'm a man ho
yeah last night was crazy shit, my friend jordan called me pimp of the year and my friend marcus said that i was so on i should start talking to Andrea. Andrea is this magical, unreachable by any guy woman who is beautiful and on Cornell's soccer team. she always has a boyfriend who's a little bit older. i wish, i'd need a week fo preparation before talking to her, and a haircut, my hair's kind of long now.so i leave my IM away message up of me pimping and campaign cornell leaves me nasty IMs. calling me a loser and saying i am hideous, so i copy and pasted them to my profile and said "you spelled probably wrong, but if you are drunk that's ok, as long as you can drink witht he medication you're on, good luck with finals and that goes for everyone" I think that is taking the high road, with a nice slam.

I'm going to hell one day, and my own words will be used against me. This was the final test day at cornell. Man did I hate that place...

done forever
yep, done forever, now for the real world. can you believe that shit? i love it i love it i love it. I also have to tell you that I am looking forward to getting freaky with people this senior week. I'm really excited and relieved to be all done with everything. I felt so calm taking my tests today, it just doesnt matter anymore. so i dont have to think about school anymore, woohoo, but for one last time "Fuck cornell, fuck the administration, fuck 20 minute walks to class uphills both ways, fuck know it all NYers, fuck NYers who cheer for both the Mets and Yankees, fuck the finger lakes, fuck snotty bitches who aren't attractive, fuck professors who put downany original thoughts, fuck you you fucking fuck" that last one is not to be confused with my phrase "fucking fuck fucks" which uses fuck in so many ways.i'm home in a day, isnt that great, just for a haircut, teeth cleaning, oh yeah and two interviews. i will soon return here for a last hurrah and hopefully some drinking and sex.

I actually like NYers, but after 4 years at cornell, I couldnt take it anymore. I did focus on drinking and women, then school. My priorities were not well ordered....

alright we started late last night like 1030pm or so, bear lodge for one pitcher and then ruloff's for 7 pitchers, i was double fisting as i had a G&T and a beer in my hands. we drank a lot. I also stole a glass from ruloff's for keepers. matt had soem mojo working early, but just playing around.we do the block party thing and i run into frosh year kids and we laugh and shit. it was cool. we went to several parties and we drank a lot. i ran into Katie yeah another katherine i should stop talking to these women. i was hurt the whole time talking to her cause i just think of what might have been. i think we're going to have a talk before she leaves. I'll say it now, she's not hot she's not hot, she's cute, great rack but she's just so fucking cool. she's one of the top 5 coolest chicks I've ever met here at cornell. arggghhh.alright after that i was walking back with this blonde who kept saying i looked like her boyfriend but "taller and classier"????? well ont he walk back i run into Jordan and Marcus and Jordan says "dude youre going the wrong way the alcohol is that way" so we walk back and drink liek fishes some more, found the last keg in collegetown and ran it. we were orderign people around filling it up and i was of course macking on soem Roberta chick. Shit changed when I started talking with this Bulgarian girl who brought her dad out for drinking. I said the only Bulgarian words I knew "my name is Matt and I love you" and they laughed and I drank with them too. Marcus Jordan and I all left at 4am and I came back to the apartment fucking messed up and finally went to bed at 5am, I sent Andrew a very very funny IM and other shit i sent to people. Well it was a night to remember. peace people peace.

Yeah I know my name is and i love you in bulgarian. I know i love you in russian, french and spanish. I have the important words down. This is a perfect place to stop as I graduated the next day and that was that. The chapter at Cornell ended. I do miss the idea of college but not there. I met some great people, but have many bad memories of friends asked to leave, horribly twisted women, and stress that would keep me up all night. I don't ever want my kids to go through that.

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