Tossed amongst much of my reading, indieflick watching, and web surfing are the footprints of douchebags. These folks take moral highgrounds or state beliefs in an attempt to shock people, impress peope, get laid, or most importantly, sell something. It has reached the point where I have decided to post on these folks, break them down in a rudimentary manner, and hopefully, with my 20 person readership, help people see these charlatans for what they are. This post is more or less a commentary on this man's film, and not an attack on him. After all, he claims it to be autobiographical but what if it is a sham that is a basis for a decent flick?
The title is poseur charlatan for September. By definition, this would be someone who pretends to be what they are not in order to gain money or some advantage over another (I smashed the meanings of poseur and charlatan together). First up, is a gigantic douchebag of the most covertly evil sort of man, the wimpster type, Caveh Zahedi.
I first discovered this poseur by tivo-ing his film "I am a Sex Addict". My motives for taping this were, ahem, not entirely pure. It was on latenight on premium cable, and I thought it might be something from a different genre. Here's the case for this guy to be a poseur charlatan. In his instance, it is a phony persona and belief system to sleep with women and then break up with women but not have it be his fault.
1. Claims to be a feminist and goes to anti-porn rallies, yet hires prostitutes.
2. Is anti-marriage and anti-private property in an effort to have a steady piece of ass to fall back on while he can go nail other women.
3. Would never ask a woman for a blowjob. Sarcasm alert: That would be misogynistic and a power arrangement. This is what he asks prostitutes for in service.
4. Believes in honesty at all times, so he ends up telling his partners that he is frequenting prostitutes. This of course ends a few of his relationships.
5. Is passive aggressive in his arguments with his ladyfriends. Always somehow turning the problem into something they have done or don't do.
6. At one point, is mad that with prostitutes, he has never acted out his real fantasies with them. Like he somehow does not have the sex he wants with prostitutes, which dumbfounds me since they are being hired to do as you please.
7. The thing he wants to do is berate the hooker as she pleases him and be violent int he way he is when she performs oral pleasure on him. See point 3.
8. Claims to be a feminist yet completely views the prostitutes as objects to fulfill his sexual fantasies. He absolutely views them as property, which defies his claim of being anti-private property.
9. Walks really really gay. I just had to throw this in. I thought he was going to turn out to be gay by the end of the film.
10. Cherry on top of this all... the first prostitute he does hire scares him a bit. He then gets extremely aroused when she says "rape me".
This douche went to Yale, which similar to Cornell, is full of Beta Male types that use passive-aggressive means to quasi-stalk women and trick them into bed. I saw this happen a lot in college, and when he started to tell his tale I said "oh shit, he's one of those wimps that fish for compliments and ego boosters". There is a female version of this. You know the girl with the size 2 waist and C cup boobs who says she is fat or doesn't like her body? Yeah, she's begging for you to compliment her. Caveh's entire scheme is to appear to be so pro-women that girls feel he is supersensitive and understands them. This works like a charm on college age girls who listen to Carly Simon-esque singer-songwriters. When they find out the guy is straight, it's a relief and they date him. These guys are just using this approach to sleep with them, and can fall back on 'enlightened' views of relationships to screw other women and end the relationship. It is about conquest and is far worse than other types of men.
Concerning his sex addiction, I am sensitive to people who are addicts, which is why I love "Intervention". Watching his movie, I did not feel he was a sex addict. I feel he used prostitutes to realize his sexual dreams and desires instead of just asking his partners. He can keep up the sensitive, wimpster routine with his ladyfriend and use other women as objects. On a personal note, I have a friend from college who was a sex addict and attended Sexaholics Anonymous meetings. His stories from SA meetings made me feel sad for people who are true sex addicts.... and his feedback is why I never lick ATM envelopes. Caveh Zahedi went to SA so he could be the 'victim' which is something inherent in the modern liberal world. Power is achieved when one can be called a victim; it gives a moral high ground. It gives an excuse for bad behavior and poor treatment of all women despite his claims to be a feminist.
As a libertarian, I consider myself a believer in equality of opportunity for all. I do like the strain of feminism that the author Christina Hoff Sommers exemplifies. Men and women are equal. Men and women are different. Men and women have different things they might be better tailored to do than the other gender. Stereotypes of both genders in media and thought are not constructive. Thoughts like "women are bad drivers" or "fathers are oblivious of their kids and not hip". My other male friends are probably more feminist than they think. The scary part of this tangent, is that the gender worldview that my friends and I are a part of is a whole lot more sincere than Caveh Zahedi's.