Friday, July 20, 2007

Mike Vick Can Die of Herpes and Go to Hell

I wanted to be over the top. Mike Vick can burn in hell. First off, you have herpes. Herpes is not bad in iteself, but you have herpes. I just wanted to let more people know that. I am not being funny, as I often joke about herpes, but this man has herpes. He tested for it under the name Ron Mexico. Douche.Secondly, he ran a dogfighting ring. This man was the number 1 pick in the NFL draft, signed the biggest contract in the history of the NFL, and has endorsement deals with Coke & other huge names in consumer products. He is the 27 year old, hip face of the NFL. (Now that Reggie Bush & Vince Young are around, not anymore). He threw this all away to run a dogfighting ring and cross state lines. Vick and his cohorts electrocuted, drowned, shot, and beat dogs to death. They killed dogs for losing, for not having a fighting spirit, and from what I heard on the radio this horrifying detail... they would grab dogs they saw in neighborhoods and use them for practice for their pit bulls. Sorry little Timmy or Tyrone, your dog ran away. Nope, it was used for practice by some sick ass thug wannabes.Thirdly, you are a multimillion dollar athlete. You have been paid an enormous amount of money to play a kid's game. Why on Earth are you trying to be hardcore and thuggish by running the "Bad Newz Kennels". That is not a joke; they named it "Bad Newz Kennels". This is like an SNL skit written by me. Stop trying so hard to be a thug, when you are a pampered star athlete. This goes out to all of the athletes not truly from the hood. You are 27 and with 2+ years in jail, you're peak will pass by unrealized.If you read the Smoking Gun's copy of the indictment, Vick looks fucked. The government has 4 witnesses against him and are leaning on his 3 co-conspirators. The Feds want Vick. In an interesting twist, a law put into place by Bobby Kennedy when he was AG to bring down the Mob might be used against Vick. Because of the crossing of state lines, the Feds can go after him for things he may not have organized directly but was the "Godfather" figure for execution of actions.You might be thinking he will find a way out of this because he is a sports figure and rich. No way. This region has thrown athletes in jail for failure to pay child support and has a speedy trial feature. This will go to court quick. This will result in jail time. Plan your fantasy football drafts accordingly, and think about the Falcons trading Vick's back up instead of holding him for one more year. The remaining question is: will the prison guys rape him or not because he has herpes? Does herpes scare prisoners off?May the hounds chase after him in his sleep every single evening.

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