Tuesday, February 06, 2007

NFL Mock Draft #1

Kool Aid man would say "Oh yeah, the NFL offseason has begun". I will be watching a lot of the combine if not all on the NFL Network (thank you Comcast). After the combine, I will have a better feel for the top prospects who attend. The previous draft was a gold mine of instant impact rookies. It was 1983 all over again. Last year, I said Mojo Drew and Joseph Addai impressed me the most of the rookie RBs I saw. We will see what comes out of this year's draft. Let's roll out one mock draft and have some fun with it......

1. Oakland Raiders - JaMarcus Russell - Perfect match for an owner who loves the deep ball. I like to refer to JaMarcus as "the Dumber Daunte". Think about this for a moment, what about Culpepper bothers fans so much: poor decision making. Russell has the same issues. Russell has an advantage that he is still in his early 20's, but let's not forget the interception filled games he had on the big stage in the SEC. I'd prefer to see Russell go to a team that has a QB guru so he can grow into the "franchise QB" draft gurus are calling him. In Oakland, he could flounder in the toilet bowl that is the Raiders' system and never live up to the hype.

2. Detroit Lions - Calvin Johnson - Fuck you if you think Millen is going for anything other than a huge WR with strumpf and speed. This is a match made in heaven. I can't wait for the audience to go nuts when this pick happens. Oh Lord please let it happen.

3. Tampa Bay Bucs - Brady Quinn - No way is Cleveland winning the coin toss. The Bucs will win the toss and Gruden will get Quinn. Quinn's completion percentage at ND, arm strength, and study under Weis make him a prime candidate for a franchise QB in the pros. I can see Gruden doing wonders with him. The man turned Brad Johnson and Rich Gannon into Super Bowl QBs. Imagine him with the former number 1 QB prospect out of high school Quinn. Hold on, Chris Simms was a former number 1 prospect out of high school.

4. Cleveland Browns - Joe Thomas - This franchise is cursed. Great fans filled that stadium for years through the ups and downs; team moves, and then wins a championship. The Dawg pound just gets screwed over again and again. Their former number 1 pick QB had a freak shoulder injury. They lost a playoff game where their backup QB threw for 400+ yards. A big, white offensive tackle sounds like the kind of pick Romeo Crennel would make.

5. Arizona Cardinals - Jamaal Anderson - This team needs help on the offensive line, but their are no tackles besides Thomas who should go this high. If they can not find a partner to trade down, they can grab some help on the D-line. Who fucking knows though with their new coach?

6. Washington Redskins - Gaines Adams - Yaaaaaah! The Skins have a 1st round pick. I like this Adams guy. Sleek, quick and agile, he seems like one of those guys who can play defensive end, yet drop back into zone coverage on zone blitzes. I think Gregg Williams would find a way to fuck him up. The Skins make this pick only if they find a way to get under the cap as they are 2 mil over the cap already with only 41 guys on the roster.

7. Minnesota Vikings - Levi Brown - This one is a reach. I like the good draft day reach pick. The crowd goes silent and that "what the fuck" look is on most fans' faces. The Vikings need help on offensive tackle, and with Bryant McKinnie, the Vikes will have two young, solid tackles. I see them sticking Brown on the right side and then moving him to left if he develops into a great pass blocker.

8. Houston Texans - Adrian Peterson - No fucking way are the Texans passing on a blue chip RB twice. No way. Peterson is only 21, has few miles on him, has a little durability issue in tow, but can be a 300 carry RB for a coach who loves to run the ball.

9. Miami Dolphins - Alan Branch - The Dolphins have an ancient defense. They need some youth on that side of the ball. Branch looked like a beast in the games I watched him play in this season. He's also a product of Michigan. I like how Michigan guys translate to the pros. You know guys like Ty Wheatley, Tim Biakabatuka, Desmond Howard, Charles Woodson, Drew Henson...

10. Atlanta Falcons - Ted Ginn Jr. - The Falcons receivers suck. I know Vick has little touch, but jesus these guys couldn't catch herpes from Vick let alone a football. If Ginn Jr. does suck in the pros, he can hang with another underwhelming receiving bust from Ohio St., Michael Jenkins. My prediction for the Falcons is that Petrino gets pissed off at Vick halfway throught he year and benches him for Schaub. Since this will be year 3 of the big Vick contract, they can trade his ass at the end of the year. C'mon Vick, step it up!

11. San Francisco 49ers - Amobi Okoye - This dude will be a 20 year old rookie. He played college ball as a 16 year old freshman. At 16, I was gawky and hiding my boners in Spanish class. Seriously, my Spanish class was loaded sophomore year. The Niners need help on both the D-line and O-line, but there are not as many blue chippers this year along the O-line. Amobi will still be in his physical prime by the end of the first contract, and if resigned, still might be at the end of the 2nd contract.

12. Buffalo Bills - Leon Hall - After being burnt by Dwayne Jarrett and Steve Smith in the Rose Bowl, I do not see why this guy should be taken so high. He's high on a lot of draft lists and the Bills will lose Nate Clements when the Pats or Jets steal him away. The Bills seem like they are always 3 boneheaded plays away from the playoffs. Each year, something stupid prevents them from going 10-6.

13. St. Louis Rams - Paul Poluszny - Good athlete with great instinct. He's going to be one more year removed from a knee injury, so his speed should be improved. This is a big reach, but the Rams are hurting at linebacker. Their defense has just fallen apart since Lovie Smith left. My favorite Rams quote of all time is when Aeneas Williams talked about why the Rams would destroy the Iggles in the NFC championship game, "We're so fast, we'd like sneak into their house, steal their tv, and they wouldn't even know it happened".

14. Carolina Panthers - Reggie Nelson - This dude is one bad mutherphucker in the secondary. He definitely has the dreadlocks to play in the secondary at the NFL level. John Fox will do a good job of coaching this amazing talent and getting the most out of him. If a QB named Quinn falls this far, I could see the Panthers picking him, but he just isn't falling that far.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers - Quentin Moses - This guy is a tweener which will fit in well with the Steelers 3-4 scheme. He suffered from a big senior year letdown, but another guy suffered from a bit of a senior year letdown and a bad combine. That same guy played well this season except for 2 specific plays: Mathias Kiwanuka. This guy is the sequel. I'm also calling a top half of the first round pick as a sleeper. I'm a douche.

16. Green Bay Packers - Marshawn Lynch - One could argue that the Packers were cursed and blessed by the injuries to their top 2 RBs from a few years ago: Najeh Davenport and Ahman Green. Because of those injuries, they had some rough years offensively, relying on an aging, deteriorating gunslinger. The positive spin is that the Packers avoided signing huge contracts to either RB. This prevented them from entering a dangerous salary cap zone, which could be solved if Brett Favre retired and cleared nearly 10 mil in NET cap space for the Packers. Lynch would be a good run and catch weapon for the Packers. Lynch has that Mojo build but is a shade under 6 feet tall. Screen passes please.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - Jarvis Moss - The Jags need some depth on the D side since they can't keep their defense healthy. Moss looked like an absolute wolf on defense in the national championship game. He was scarfing up shit here and there. This pick could be rendered useless if the Jaguars make the idiotic decision to get rid of Leftwich for Garrard. Garrard is extremely inferior in every regard except mobility.

18. Cincy Bengals - Charlie Johnson - This guy is young, big, and hopefully, prone to criminal behavior. I want to thank the Bengals for bringing back some flavor to the NFL. It's been a while since the league had a bad boys team. Ray Lewis is a horrible human, but his team is not on the aggregate a thuggish entity like the Bengals. If I were the Brown family (owners of the Bengals), I'd pay for a limo service to drive my players everywhere. Maybe hire some chaperones, too.

19. Tenn Titans - Sidney Rice - Vince Young still needs to learn how to go through progressions instead of just the one read plays he has had for 3 years (2 at Texas and rookie season). Before I call him a future top 5 QB, I need to see him hit a guy who is the 3rd option. Oh yeah, get that passing completion % above 52%. In his defense, he does need some better receivers. This Rice guy is one fast son of a bitch, and he is a big target. Vince can overthrow him, and Rice would probably still snag it.

20. NY Giants - Lawrence Timmons - I only saw two FSU games this year, and he was all over the field. Like most young players, he seemed to bite on play action passes. Some things can be coached, and reading a play is one of them. Game film study will help him a lot. The stuff you can't coach, speed, strength and jumping ability... he has in spades. The Giants need some LBs. They are desperate. I give Arrington an over/under of games played of 8. Pierce is their only good LB, and he needs some help. That D-line, when healthy, is a force. They need playmakers behind them.

21. Denver Broncos - Darrelle Davis - The tragic death of Darrent Williams forces the Broncos to look for help in the secondary. There was a great article or report on how Shanahan built his defense to stop the Colts. Not to win a championship, just to stop the Colts. He was so certain that he had the offensive brains to score points that all he had to do was build a solid D designed to shut the Colts down. They'll always be able to take down the Pats with their D, as long as the Pats don't add a true no. 1 WR, but they are down a very big horse in trying to stop the Colts.

22. Dallas Cowboys - LaRon Landry - The Cowboys need production out of the free safety spot. When they had that crappy rookie (Pat Watkins) in, he got burnt once a game, sometimes twice. Keith Davis played well, and I wish they had had in in at the end of the year. Landry will be able to step in and play centerfield. I'd look at Griffin from Texas as well. If Reggie Nelson drops to this spot, I will be spitting nickels.

23. KC Chiefs - Robert Meachem - The Chiefs need to add a receiver. Larry Johnson will break down after 413 carries, Gonzalez is another year older, and Dante Hall never became a reliable receiver. Meachem has a raw physical skill set that is impressive, and runs decent routes. I still can't believe the Chiefs did not just franchise Gonzalez. Now they have a shitty contract eating up space for years instead of slapping the tag on him once and then letting him go. Only a team that would give up a draft pick for Herm Edwards would do that.

24. New England Patriots - Daymeion Hughes - The Pats need help in the secondary and the linebacker corps. This will greatly boost the secondary. I think they will address both in the first round, not through free agency. I also think they will let Asante Samuel sign elsewhere.

25. NY Jets - DeMarcus Tyler - The Jets are still transitioning to the 3-4, and they need a big body in the middle. Tyler did well this year, and he comes from that NC St defense that has produced a ton of top end talent in the last 2 years. Somehow they can't win the ACC, but that is another story. I forsee a big drop off for the Jets. They might fall back to Earth with a 7-9 or 6-10 record. They play a tough out of division schedule next year as the #2 seed of the AFC east: NFC East, AFC North, Titans and Chiefs.

26. Philly Iggles - Tim Crowder - Texas - The Iggles draft to build their lines and work their way out. Crowder is a good prospect that has played on a top notch team against top notch competition for multiple years. I hope the Iggles perform well with McNabb next year, because the last thing Philly fans need is a reason to chant for Garcia. This is a town that wanted A.J. Feeley to be in at QB instead of Garcia. Losers.

27. New Orleans Saints - Marcus McCauley - The Saints need to spruce up their defense, and I see their first few picks being on that side of the ball. The secondary performed ok, but they need another good Cb to push Fred Thomas off of the field. McKenzie is also getting up there in age as well. I kept telling people the Saints would hit the over on the over/under for total team wins last year. No one fucking listens.

28. New England Patriots - Patrick Willis - Paging Tedy Bruschi. Paging Tedy Bruschi. Retire. Retire, as you have played awful since your stroke. You never should have come back. The drooling during the game is not cool. Leave now or you can have worse brain damage than Ted Johnson, who is a bad ass dude. I went to Ted johnson Night at Foxboro 2 seasons ago, and I noticed his speech had pauses in it. I thought he was just a dumb jock. Maybe it was the post-concussion syndrome he has. I feel geniunely sorry for him.

29.Baltimore Ravens - Anthony Gonzalez - The Ravens need help on offense. Mason is getting old, Heap can't be the go to receiver. Gonzalez is a tough SOB who would fit right in witht he Ravens. I do not know how people did not see the Ravens train crashing in the postseason. McNair looked awful this year. I don't care if he went 13-3. The second Bengals-Ravens game was enough for me to say they would lose to stiff competition.

30. San Diego Chargers - Dwayne Jarrett - The Chargers need a WR who can catch the fucking ball. They are a dropped pass or foot in bounds from a SB victory. I do not think Jarrett is going to show blinding speed at the combine or USC workout, which might make the retard GMs in the NFL pass on him. Look at how he abused the defenses he faced this year. He will fit in great with the Chargers.

31. Chicago Bears - Greg Olsen - I like this guy's skills. He catches tough passes, has good size, and can throw blocks too. With Olsen and Desmond Clark, the Bears could run the two TE offense extremely well. Well, wit a new QB or an improved Rex Grossman.

32. Indy Colts - Jon Beason - They need LBs or D-linemen. I think they go with the best player available. Beason has the speed to play in the Cover 2. Dungy can coach him up a bit, and this could be a nice match of needs and skills. In all seriousness, what does it matter to the Colts right now. They got their title. Say they go 10-6 next year, which is always possible with Peyton at QB, does it matter? Nope. They could rebuild for a year or 2 and still come back as a favorite for the SB with Addai hitting his prime and Manning still at the helm. Of course, this means Manning stays healthy. Maybe they should draft an O-lineman or two as well this year.

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