Tuesday, January 16, 2007

So you've watched a Football game with a Pats Fan

The mood in Massachusetts is more unbearable than ever as a month ago, talk had turned towards the Red Sox, and the Pats 'fans' were talking about a "1 and done". Well, the two pump chumps are now talking Super Bowl number 4. My friend came up with this list for the shared misery of watching a game with Pats 'fans'. We have tweaked it a bit over time as Pats fans have become more obnoxious. You know who I am talking about, the disguntled Red Sox, post-'01, regional bandwagon fans from New England. A friend of mine, that is a NY Giants fan and from New England, came up with a list of things that tip you off that you are watching a game with a Pats fan.....

10. Before the game, a fan talks about Brady's great looks, strong body, and amazing intelligence. The fan then introduces you to his wife.
9. They wear a Troy Brown jersey because they are too poor to buy anyone's jersey now that they cost $75 a pop.
8. "Irregaahdless of winnin' or losin', I have the utmost confidence that Belicheck's a genius. Look irregahdless of the score, he's a fahkin' genius..... Yankees suck."
7. After Tedy Bruschi makes his one play for the game they say, "Bruuuuuu! Fahk... Bruschi plays with a wicked big haaht". They turn away as drool spills down his uniform.
6. Their girlfriend has a pink Brady jersey and lots of make-up on, showing about 6 weeks worth of roots.
5. They pay attention to detail, talk strategy, enjoy tightly contested games and call out players who make mistakes. They get drowned out by the dipshit fans around them who jumped on the bandwagon in '01 that are hollering at every play.
4. They are an ugly ginger kid that answers to Patrick, Ryan, Sean, Sully or Murph. They have no soul.
3. During the game, they speak a lot about the Pats blitzing and using the Cover 2, when in fact they are rushing four down linemen and using a Cover 3.
2. They keep trying to pick up the bartender. She's about a 6 out of 10, but it's 6 beers into the game and this is Boston.
1. Their apartment has photos of them through their childhood in NY Giants jerseys.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you forgot to say "start talking about baseball the moment Pats are down by 2 scores"