Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Cobra Commander controls dangerous offensive weapons...

Who leads minions into battle as commander yet always suffers defeat? Cobra Commander, that is who. What man is a latent homosexual in crisp suits of blue, with great color schemes, and never ever makes a move on the super sexy Baroness? Cobra Commander. Who was a giant bitch to Destro and always one upped by Serpentor? Cobra Commander. Why is this written in Josef Stalin rhythm? This is a quip about ruthless men who are still bitches.

One can only compare Cobra Commander to Peyton Manning. Sure Peyton has a lot of tools, commercials, wins and records, but he still does not have elusive "Ultra-Super-Big One". He has only won small and medium "Big Ones". Much in the manner of Cobra Commander, he wins at the 15 minute mark but cannot close the deal when the clock shows 28 minutes and the "Knowing is half the Battle" public announcement comes onscreen.

Knowing what we know of Peyton's past failures and success, I leave you with this description of Cobra Commander to ponder while contemplating who to wager on for the Super Bowl.... (Credit to Wikipedia) ...

"Cobra Commander frequently led assaults himself, but was a coward at heart and proved the first to turn tail in retreat whenever the tide of battle shifted unfavorably. Impatient and frequently hysterical, he was prone to fits of rage when things went badly, often launching into extended rants. He was also greedy and egotistical, often mistreating his own troops to the point of mutiny, and on multiple occasions saw his plans foiled by his own arrogance."

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