Friday, December 01, 2006

My return and Thursday Night Football

I've been gone way too long. I apologize but outside life got in the way. My quest to be the first person to finish a Madden Franchise/NCAA Dynasty is also in the way. 34 years down, 6 more to go. I thought I'd mark my return with a rundown of the Thursday Night Football matchup between the Ravens and Begals. My pick is Bengals to cover as everyone should be betting on the home teams in these match ups unless the home team is the Lions or Cardinals.

- Carson palmer throws the prettiest deep ball in the NFl. Vinny Testaverde used to, but not with the same zip Palmer does. Vinny just floated spirals every throw. Carson has arm strength.

- Is the Under Armor spokesguy still in the NFL, or is he protecting his own house?

-The NFL is blessed right now with 4 young and potential HOF safeties. Polamula, Reed, Taylor, Roy Williams. I think the best of them will be Sean Taylor, and he will fulfill his destiny..... just for another team.

-Housh is the go to guy on 3rd down, Chad Johnson is the loud mouth. Sounds like TO and Terry Glenn's relationship. I hate these diva WRs.

-The NFL needs a "Rasheed" rule for the bitching for contact motions/whines from WRs.

-On the Ravens' defense, I'd take McAlister, then Reed, then Adalius Thomas, closely followed by Bart Scott, then Ray Ray. This is not a rebirth year, it's a year where everyone else makes him look better than he really is.

-Palmer's incompletion in the end zone hit his man in the hands. He had no where to go witht he ball and still fit the ball through the window and hit his man in the hands. Impressive.

-I am impressed with the versatility of Adalius Thomas. It's like he's the NFL version of Lebron as far as versatility.

-I love McNair, always thought he was good at hitting his deep throws, and I see McNabb going down his path with all of these bang up injuries he has. The sad part about McNair is he seems more like Chad Pennington now. Every throw looks like it takes a ton of effort, never goes down field, but McNair has more arm strength than Chad. Heck, my mom has more arm strength.

-NFL Network should have hired both Gumbel's so they could have "Gumbel to Gumbel".

-The Browns are r-tards if they fire Romeo Crennel after such a short tenure. These things take time folks. Give him time, and give hima team where the top two free agent signgings do not get injured early.

-Remember Deion's song "Must be the Money". I remember him performing it on SNL years back. What a douche.

-Where is McNeese St? Is it between Candyland and Narnia?

-Phuck Billick and his offensive genius rep. He coached an offense with Randy Moss, Chris Carter and Robert Smith. How hard is it to gain 4000 yards in a season with two hall of fame WRs and a pro bowl RB?

-Dexter Jackson is still int he NFL, the same Super Bowl MVP Dexter Jackson? No way.

-Sam Eliot doing voiceovers is awesome for commercials. He needs to say "hombre" in every ad though.

- I take it back, McNair can scrmable better than Pennington.

- Justin Long is sucha horrible name for an actor. You just know Justin Longenuff will be a porn name some day.

- Cleveland/Pittsburgh next week for NFL Network, sorry NFL Network.

- If Ozzie Newsome got rid of Billick, the Ravens could make the leap on offense. It just isn't working for them and hasn't ever.

- Stover shanks the kick, capping my fantasy year which has seen two of my top 3 picks go down with long term injuries (McNabb and Brown).

- 3rd and longs are killer for McNair and the Ravens. They get no separation, and McNair's wheels are not Vince Young/Mike Vick fresh.

- Screen pass please Bengals, just one.

- WRs blocking are a sight to behold, what pathetic blockers. WRs are like pampered sorority girls playing football.

- When a team calls the flea flicker, do the players giggle in the huddle?

- Can we all admit that B.J. Sams' returns and the D has made the Ravens O look good the last few weeks?

- Every McNair throw looks like it takes all his might to toss it..... very much like Chad Pennington. His out pattern throws look horrible. If the Bnegals DBs did not have stone hands they'd have 2 or 3 picks right now.

- So many NFL cheerleaders are butterfaces. I'd still fuck them but 80% or so are butterfaces.

- The Docs who cleared Daunte Culpepper over Drew Brees for the Dolphins are the same oens who cleared Eric Lindros to play for the Flyers. Maybe the guys who Steve Young got to clear him to return to the NFL.

- Housh and Chad Johnson seem stronger than the normal NFL WRs.

- The Ravens LBs give them incredible flexibility in defensive scheming and playcalling. With their speed and coverage abilities, they can cover TEs, RBS and even WRS, and blitz if called upon.

- Why do the Bengals forget they have Rudi Johnson? Why?

-McNair throws a ball that bounces 2 yards in front of Mason. Color me not impressed with their playoff hopes.

-Best defensive ficker of all time: the man with the one bar facemask, Kevin Butler of the Bears. He was a safety in college and routinely made tackles in coverage.

-Lindsay Lohan should hire the PR guy who rehabbed Ray Lewis' image. Miracle worker.

- McNair with the Ravens is like Plummer with the Broncos. Once he gets into a situation where he has to win the game himself, can't do it. Not anymore.

-Collinsworth explaisn the D playcalling; thank you for doing your job.

-The Bengals read the play action roll out, they just whiffed on McNair.

- Ravens can't run against a good D, can't stretch the field. Their luck has to change soon.

-I love the joke amongst New Yorkers in the know that Reggie Jackson and Joe Namath slept with all of the women the other guy was 'suppose' to sleep with.

- Zone blitz, dropped INT, dumb Bengals. Why blitz a guy who is 14-27 for 104 YARDS on 3rd and long? No reason.

-Besides the media, who likes the Ravens? Does anyone know a Ravens fan?

- McNair threw a duck on 3rd and long for a successful conversion. A miracle of sorts for this anemic offense.

- If Ozzie Newsome is a god at finding defensive talent, why can't he find anyone on the offensive side of the ball?

- The Ravens should be in the hurry up needing two TDs. Is Billick, self sabotaging the team? Is he that big a douche?

- McNair is missing open receivers by 3-5 yards each throw. 4th and short, they somehow don't convert. hmmmm, could a team just play conservative against the Ravens D, not have any turnovers and win by forcing the Ravens O to mount an 80 yard drive? I think so.

- Phuck Stover and Rudi Johnson for killing my fantasy team this week, phuck you guys.

- Val Kilmer scored a TD for the Bengals, nope it's just a muff recovery. A recovered muff.

- McNair gets the bomb to Mason, givign my fantasy opponent 10 points right there. Phuck you McNair. You couldn't hit sh*t all night and now you find him with a great throw. This is on top of the Bengals dropping their 5th coulda-woulda-shoulda INT.

- What did we learn tonight: The Ravens have an awful O despite improved performance the last few weeks. The key is not to set them up in short field situations or jump out to a lead so they can go "Plummer style" on them (aka Cowher style). It is not over in the AFC North, but it is close. The Bengals looked good here but have an incredibly difficult road ahead of them with Denver and Indy. Thursday night match ups favor the home team big time so put $$ on them. Carson Palmer is truly back from the knee injury, so think twice before drafting McNabb high next year in fantasy drafts. He'll have more time to rehab than Palmer did before the season, but Palmer's mechanics are much better than McNabb's yet it still took him 10 weeks. Oh yeah, McNabb also has a blah supporting cast compared to Palmer's.

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