Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Monday Night Football review

Are you ready for the football? I am, in fact, I am torn over the disapointment of USC's loss to UCLA and the Cowboys pulling out a gutsy win in the Meadowlands. They haven't won a game like that on the road in years. I'm watching tonight's game because I want to size up the Panthers, who should be in the playoffs and worry me despite Dallas drubbing them in Carolina by 20+, and I just was in Philly. My pick tonight is Carolina to cover.

- Please destroy the film prints for Rocky 6. There will be a generation of kids growing up who think Rocky is an old man, Brett Favre was an INT prone crackerjack and Michael Jordan was a chump who played in Washington.

- Julius Peppers is my wife's favorite name in the NFL. 2nd and 3rd are LaDainian Tomlinson and Laverneus Coles.

-Philly booing on the first drop.... and the 2nd drop. Oh yeah, this could be fun.

-The Iggles deal with the devil ran out at that Super Bowl vs. the Pats.

-In the direct tv ads, Jessica Simpson looks vampire-ish, really weird skin. Still, she's a vampire I'd bang with her cape still on.

-I was in Philly last weekend and it is the Beirut of sports. No hope. Fans are destroyed.

-Westbrook is a glorified 3rd down back. You never see him carry defenders. He can't get you that yard on 3rd and 1, and he doesn't close games for the Iggles. A fantasy football HOFer.

-This year's rookie RBs look impressive 10 games into the season: Addai, Bush, Maroney, Williams. LenDale White is out there too, but he just isn't getting the carries yet.

-Who is older Weinke or Delhomme? Weinke, by 3 years.

-Why were the Iggles coverign Steve Smith with one man. Single coverage inside the red zone, stupid!

-I want to flip to somethign else, but the prospect of watching Philly fans go apeshit is too much to resist.

-Garcia looks bad with his throws. He's not getting set, not hitting them in stride, and throwing to a lot of empty areas of the field.

-A player had a kidney stone. I repeat an NFL player under 60 years of age had a kidney stone. Not Kornheiser.

-Garcia can thank himself for that Peppers near INT. He threw it so bad even Julius was not able to snag it.

-The Iggles used to own O-line/D-line battles. Not anymore. Their O-line can't hold anything anymore. Garcia is running for his life and doing a good job of evading the rush.

-Julius Peppers is that once a generation guy. Has a DE ever lined up wide to be thrown a fade pass? Never. He draws double teams or is just HELD by o-linemen. Great instincts for the flow of plays like draws or counters. He can drop back in coverage. Scary part is, he does all of these things exceptionally well.

-Philly chicks are reject Jersey girls..... with 20 extra lbs.

-Mangum. Seriously, change your name. It sounds like a porn name.

-Can the Iggles blitz anymore. They are not bringing the heat to Delhomme. That usually works vs. Jake because he just chucks it up to the side of the field with Steve Smith. Not a good tactic with teams that zone blitz.

-Bears vs. Rams next Monday. Can the Bears just field their defense the entire game? "No no we're punting on first down to give you the ball, do your best...shh guys, I think they're buying it, keep Rex on the sidelines"

-Jeff Garcia looks like the leader of a cult or a Scientologist.

-The Iggles O is bad. No holes are opened for their backs, Westbrook doesn't run well between the tackles, Garcia isn't hitting anyone tonight. Hey, Kornheiser just ripped into Garcia.

-The over/under on % of high school seniors who think Rocky Balboa is real: 60. In Philly, 90%.

- Can someone kill Stallone? Arnold clearly won the battle between them. He's moved onto being a 2 term governor of the most populous state in the USA, and Stallone is stuck playing out Rocky storylines.

-Stallone admitted to the Rocky character going to his ego for 15 years. Funny. Even funnier he joked that Rocky 7 is he dies to fight Apollo in heaven. Between these lines and Stallone openly cheering for the Iggles, he's been an entertaining booth guest.

-Garcia continues to look bad. His throws look rushed, off balance, and his reads are wrong. His timing is off, and maybe it's just lack of time with his WRs to work on routes... Nah, it's the cult keeping him at the compound.

-Horrible call by the Panthers O on 3rd and 6. Where was the 8 yard curl to Keyshawn?

-3 highlights of Runyan on Peppers. 3 straight holds. I can't believe Strahan let Runyan out of his cage to play tonight. Strahan must have half of his total sacks thanks to Jon Runyan.

-Westbrook jumped out of bounds 3 yards short of the first rather than turn it up field, take a hit, and maybe get the first..... you know Marion Barber III wouldn't have done that. (shaking head, with lips closed tightly)

- Iggles blitz, Panthers pick it up, Delhomme panics and throws a bad ball. He just doesn't look calm back there.

-Oh my God, Stallworth just made a one handed catch while being molested by the cornerback. Flag there please, even though he caught it.

-McNabb and Brady have the highest QB rating in the red zone. You don't say? Two guys with no running games have a high value in a rating system where TDs are given huge bits of worth?

-Panthers have 5 drops I have noted. They need some Mangum on their hands. hardy har har.

-A draw would've worked against that blitz. I guess if Dawkins can still blitz, the Iggles D isn't totally dead.

-Chuck D tribute to Ali at halftime. I know the current heavyweight boxing division is a joke, but how is a new guy going to get exposure or respect when the emdia continously performs image fellatio on one and only one boxer.... who peaked 30 years ago.

-Delhomme underthrew Key by 2 yards and Key has to make the defensive play. Did Jake not take his crazy Bayou pill today?

- Delhomme picked up one thing from Eli, the horrible intentional grounding when it is obvious he was going to get hit. Lame. Just put your balls in a jar and mail them to Oprah.

-At least Delhomme's groundings didn't turn into picks like Jake Plummer's irrational throws.

-Steve Smith for MVP. Catches it in traffic, bounces off the defender, gets 10 more yards, and oh yeah, the safety is the one on the ground. Yeah Michael Lewis, you are a punk and must bow down to the power of Steve Smith.

-First Budweiser clydesdale christmas ad. It's 30 years old at leats but still does the trick. That advertising exec deserved his paycheck. The first and last to do so.

-Doesn't Steve Smith need a nickname: The Dragon..... the Assassin... 2 fast 2 furious... Jules

-Key gets the TD and does some gay looking pose. The boo birds are out again, for the Iggles or for Key? I vote for it being for the Iggles.

-Is Key a HOFer? No. Nope. Could Steve Smith end up in the Hall? Maybe. He's still so young (27), and with how bad the Panthers look without him, could win an MVP award someday when the media decides not to give it to a QB/RB.

-Garcia bought time and foudn Stallworth. Great job by garcia to evade the rush. An extra 2 seconds can allow coverage to breakdown.

-Deangelo Williams has pretty big legs, and he keeps them churning when he is being tackled. Keep feeding him the ball to wear that D down.

-Classic Keyshawn: 8 yard in with a one hand push off, first down. He just moves chaisn folks; he always will.

-My mom thinks AJ Hawk is ugly. He's a phucking linebacker Mom.

-What's with the criticism of Garcia not going deep (haha), was McNabb known for bombs or for that pussy west coast passing? Oh yeah, pussy west coast passing.

- Joe Theisman just did an awful Rocky impersonation. It's as bad as my Bill Cosby.

-I don't get the Philly love affair with AJ. Did they miss his entire time with the Dolphins. He sucked dorsal fin.

-I liked Philly. Good city, easy to get around. It needs more exposure.

-4th quarter - Can the Panthers close a game? If they feed Deangelo the ball, hey can score a TD and escape with a win.

- Deangelo got 9 on his first carry. Keep feeding him.

-Is Michael Jordan planning some ad with Dr. Pepper for this whole 23 advertising campaign? He's such a shill he would do it for the $$.

-Garcia has great athletic ability as evident by that side step of Julius Peppers, he just doesnt have it in his arm anymore. As I type this, he hits Reggie Brown in stride, deep for 6.

-Iggles fight song sucks. San Diego Super Chargers is much better and the king is the Redskins fight song.

-Jake Delhomme threw it up for grabs the moment the blitz came. INT. Stupid stupid move. Heck, even Vince Young doesn't do that.

-The refs are letting Runyan grab Peppers nonstop. This is pathetic.

-Is Tirico drinking or feeling up some chick? He just pronounced Tapeh as Too-pay.

-Theisman told Kornheiser he had his back homey. WTF?

-Football history note: Joe Theisman changed his name's pronounciation to match Hesiman so Notre Dame could promote him for the award in an easier manner "Theisman for Heisman".

-Steve Smith just roached Sheldon Brown. Great block. Key is shaken up because he caught the ball after sprinting 25 yards. He doesn't run well, never did.

- Great run by Deangelo Williams. side steps left, jukes right and darts upfield for 8. Good vision to go with his legs.

-Great call with the reverse to Smith inside the 20. People know it is coming, but he is so quick that he can make one guy miss and the blockers don't have to put a helmet on every defender. He just makes plays in open space.

-Kornheiser called Jake out for the INT. Good job Tony. To break it down: Jake threw it tot he wrong spot. He overthrew his WR who is 6 foot 5. Like everything, there are two sides to the tale. On the receiving end, Lito Sheppard did an excellent job reading the trajectory of the ball, Keyshawn did a terrible job. Keyshawn also mistimed his jump. had he not jumped when he did he could have gone back to the ball to break it up. He didn't and now the Panthers need to win next week vs. the G-men. Maybe the Iggles aren't dead after all.

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