Sunday, September 18, 2005

Abuse and doing something about it

There is no use for domestic abuse or something like that as the saying goes on the PSA on tv. I severely dislike abusers of children and spouses, and I am often frustrated by the psychology of many victims (Why does he/she stay with the abuser? Why not report it?). I am happy to read the NY Times article on the story of one NFL player. Laveranues Coles is a wide receiver for the NY Jets, and was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. During his time in middle school, the man who would later become his stepfather sexually abused him. Laveranues came forward just shy of entering high school and now is going public with his story. I was truly touched by the article and that he wanted to maintain his privacy (and keep some details private) for fear of repirsals from his former stepfather. I think this speaks to how serious the abuse was; he fears something from this man even now. I was happy to read the attitude he had about revealing his story, which goes against some preconceived notions of atheltes:

"Some kids do look up to us," he said. "Maybe if I say something, they'll feel strong enough to say, 'I can say something now because it's happened to him.' Even if it's one kid who I can touch, who my story gives him the strength to come out and say something, I feel like it's worth it."

A lot of times, making someone comfortable and not ashamed by what has happened to them can get them to talk and be strong. I recommend checking out here, here or here for more details. If you were a victim of abuse and talk with someone who is going through it now, you can be a guide on the path of healing, empowerment, and safety. I recommend, to anyone who fears a relative/friend may be a victim of abuse or child abuse, to be there to support the person, and to do what it takes to get them talking and sharing. Do not sit idly by because it is 'not your business'. You never truly know who needs your help and how much of a difference it can make......not just on the present situation, but on the future. How many Dr. Phil guests or Loveline callers were victims of abuse in the past? Help someone deal with it now and start the healing process.

I will get off of my soapbox now.

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